Total Failure with Women

[Latinoman]

Oh yeah ... dating sorority girls when you are forty five is an enormous confidence builder ... especially when you aren't rich. At 46 I can tell you it's true from experience. I can also tell you there are plenty in my age group available and worth dating too. Why limit yourself? Life IS what you make of it! Not what the stereotypes want you to believe!

Things are relative. If you are in your 60s...by all mean, date women in that age group or even in their 50s.

However, here is the thing...you are 46. So dating women around your age group when you are 46 is more than okay.

I mean, I don't see you dating women in their 50s or 60s. Correct? And I'mn sure some of those women are "okay" too.

For the same token, why should we encourage men in their 30s and 20s to get involved in relationships with women that are considerably older than them? When they have at their reach the same YOUNG, SORORITY girls that you -at 46- are currently boning?

It is about choices...and when a man has choices (choices that come as a by-product of self improvement) then he should pick what's best for him.

By the way, I like your story. It is a clear indication that self-improvement comes with many faces. You don't have to become a PhD to self-improve. You can do it different ways. As long as you are happy.

 

[lee36044]

It is about choices...and when a man has choices (choices that come as a by-product of self improvement) then he should pick what's best for him.

By the way, I like your story. It is a clear indication that self-improvement comes with many faces. You don't have to become a PhD to self-improve. You can do it different ways. As long as you are happy.

You might be surprised at how much my self has improved since those days I described!

Didn't mean to imply I ONLY date twenty somethings, just that I have in the very recent past, and will again I'm sure, and that it isn't just because I'm single and mid forties with no available women in my age group! I don't limit myself. Since my last divorce I've dated women ranging from 22 (low end) to 58 (never again!). I usually hunt the mid to late thirties range by preference.

And yes it's about choices ... but sometimes it's about just realizing they are there too! Dating younger, dating older, dating gorgeous or dating sows, it doesn't matter a bit as long as you never compromise your own standards.

The whole point of that advice to Stavrogin, including the comment at the end, was that anything is possible if you choose to let it be. But that nothing is possible as long as you refuse to believe or NEED to believe what others want you to!

And to be honest, there are too many on here whining about "I could DJ if I only had ________!" When I lived the life I described, no sensible woman should have had anything to do with me! But they did ... over and over! And I still date over (and sometimes outside or under) the limit of what most would think of as the "normal" range for someone of my age, appearance, social standing and apparent resources. So I know exactly how full of crap they are!

You gave him the best advice he'll ever get ... "if you aren't happy with yourself, improve yourself!" If he can't follow your simple guideline and see from what I lived that the only thing stopping him is himself, he's hopeless!

Regards

 

[zerocelcius]

I didn't say anything untrue. I did not mean to suggest that tons of girls have given me their numbers. It would make no sense for me to lie that some girls have given me their numbers, then in the next breath admit to being a 28-year-old virgin. I'd rather lie about the latter.

I also didn't mean to suggest I was attractive. I stated that I thought I was not. The whole purpose of my original post was to see if anyone understood why women would give me their numbers but then not want to go out with me. The point I was driving at was that maybe I was misreading their intentions.

Which brings me back to that point. Why would a girl give a guy her number and then not want to go out with him? And if a girl gives a guy her number because she just wants to be friends, why would she then not want to jsut hang out with him?

You have to tell us the timming of these girls giving you her number. Did you chat her up first. Could she just have gave you her number to end the convo.? Usually when they do this they don't give you their real number, but they could have.

Some girls will give you their numbers than play hard to get, others will give you their number cause they are attracted to you but are involved. To try the figure out the core reason why they do this would drive a man insane!

Also tell us how you approched them after they gave you their number. Did you end the convo. right afterward or keep talking?
How long did you wait to call?
What did you say when you called?

We need more of the pieces to put together the puzzle.

 

[d9930380]

Go see a shrink. You must have REAL insecurities. I was the same however since I lost it and improved socially i've pulled proper 9s (girls that I thought wouldn't look twice).

The truth is I saw myself as the awkward shy kid from school with acne and that NO girl would want me. I was REALLY hard on myself and wanted to be ANYONE else, I hid it from my friends and family.

You need confidence!! Just start going with any girls to learn how to act around them and to feel comfortable, less-attractive girls are less intimadating and more likely to give you the benifit of the doubt.

You're too focused on looks, yours (as Latinoman pointed out by making sure we knew they approached you) and their's (being picky). This indicates that you see girls as just sex objects - that's a problem. They are also both just defence mechinisms keeping you from doing anything. You're just afraid (perhaps of letting someone in) and you need to get over that, secretly I'm sure you know you can't get Jessica Alba and you would love a normal girl who gets you.

I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you that isn't in your head.

 

[Ol'BlueEyes]

He doesn't try, and that's worse than failure

oh yea, dont give them teh virgin vibe........lie if u have to, no older sexy lady will want a man who cant sexuall please her - go read DonJuanForever's post in the Tips section about sexual state, its called "I Finally Have it!!" or something like that

Let him learn through experience. He seems like a good guy, and as such, is probably a terrible liar. He won't be able to avoid giving the 'virgin vibe' during his first couple approaches. That's where the numbers game comes into play. If he follows your advice and approaches 50 girls (within a short time frame), his 'virgin vibe' should disappear soon enough.

 

[Legend Dude]

Stop being their fvcking girlfriend. You're probably not even acting like a man.........you could be gay!!!

 

[ogre]

you asked
why do girls give their numbers and then don't want to go out?

I get that a lot too. I think it's because they give out their numbers to a lot of guys, and they really don't care about it. with caller ID and VM, the phone is a weapon of mass rejection. she may be giving you her digits just so you'll go away. they do that shyt all the time.

another problem I have and maybe you have, is when I get digits I think '"wow I got her digits - I'm gonna get some - woo-hoo!" when in fact digits mean nothing to them. Girls have tons of guys calling them all the time. you're just another guy she has to filter out. then there begins the waiting game - if you call too soon or too often, she will smell your desperation and drop your a$$. This is where I usually screw up. I think about her, I want to call her, but if I do, I've just handed her my testicles. Even if she is interested at first, that interest will soon wane once you do that.

it's really hard to resist the temptation, I know. I have the same problem, we are desparate and we are like junkies when we need our fix. So you need to meet more ho's so you can rotate your calls. You gotta have at least 5-10 women in the pipline at any given time to have any chance of success with one and even then there are no guarantees. You have to be patient and let them come to you. there is no other way.