Torn over what I really want

[FatHairyM4F]

On the one hand I want a gf. Not just date, not hang out with women, not just go out and get laid, but a gf. A serious committed relationship, and I want this for several reasons.

1) Because it would be an ego boost to be seen with her assuming she's cute (and if she's not that's out of the question), at least a 6 or 7 in the looks dept. 2) it would also be an ego boost to be able to say I have a gf, talk about what I did with my girlfriend over the weekend, etc 3) I have a tickling fetish, and I honestly want to tickle a good looking woman much more than I want to have sex with her. Ordinarily what I do is, when I can afford it go out to places (massage parlors, gentleman's clubs, etc) and pay women to let me tickle them, then go home and masturbate. But that gets expensive and so I can't afford to do it often so it would be more cost-effective to have a gf that I could do that stuff with for free, and whenever I wanted. 4) probably most importantly, having a reasonably good looking woman hanging all over me, especially in public, and being really into me would make me feel attractive, important, etc. I know I know, people always say that a woman doing those things wouldn't make me feel better about myself because it has to come from within blah blah blah. Well I would really rather find out for myself if having a cute gf doing the things I want would make me feel good about myself, rather than taking someone's word for it.

On the other hand, there are reasons why I may not enjoy having a relationship. 1) I've always felt it would be so nice to bang a lot of different women, even though my true urges are to tickle them, because I'm very insecure about my attractiveness to women. And so by having sexual conquests, notches in my belt, I would (I believe) feel more secure in my attractiveness to women, rather than feeling I just settled for a relationship with one woman because she's all I could get. 2) I don't like kids. Which with all the talk on here about how women sh*t test because they're looking for the best genes to have offspring with, will probably disqualify me from most women. They would just be an inconvenience to me and I can't stand being inconvenienced. I just don't see where having kids would be worth my time effort and money. And besides that, taking care of myself is quite enough responsibility for me without being responsible for kids. 3) this is tied into #2. I like my "me time". In fact, if I had my way, my life 24/7 would be "me time" if I didn't have to work. "Me time" for me is playing PS2 and going on the internet, end of list. A girlfriend would want me to take her out places, and just basically do bf/gf things. And that would be inconvenient, and you know how I feel about inconvenience. Ideally I guess I would like to have a gf who is there when I want her, and then goes away until I want her again. 4) I just don't have much that would make a woman want me, and I don't think I care enough to change. And I actually resent HAVING to have something that would give me "value" in a woman's eyes. I just want a woman to take me as I am. I'm fat, lazy, needy, clingy, selfish, insecure, timid, passive, VERY MUCH lacking in self-confidence, a recluse, have no desire for new things or new experiences, and am basically just killing time until I die.

Assuming I do decide that I want to try having my first gf (I'm about to turn 34), assuming I even decide one way or another, for my purposes and my needs what kind of woman would be good for me and any tips on finding women like that?

 

[Boston DJ]

Thanks for the self-esteem boost.

You can find a fat, lazy, needy, clingy, selfish, insecure, timid, passive, recluse GF in many places. I'd start w/ the unemployment line and then head to your local Wal-Mart. This should turn up a suitable mate. Best of luck.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Flip a coin.

 

[SamRi72]

Just choose a path. Even if you choose wrong, doing something is much better than laying around doing nothing and wasting your life.

 

[FoolsCause]

You're 34. Get a girlfriend! Worry about the problems it brings later. :crazy:

 

[Alphamale1821]

. I just don't have much that would make a woman want me, and I don't think I care enough to change. And I actually resent HAVING to have something that would give me "value" in a woman's eyes. I just want a woman to take me as I am. I'm fat, lazy, needy, clingy, selfish, insecure, timid, passive, VERY MUCH lacking in self-confidence, a recluse, have no desire for new things or new experiences, and am basically just killing time until I die.

Assuming I do decide that I want to try having my first gf (I'm about to turn 34), assuming I even decide one way or another, for my purposes and my needs what kind of woman would be good for me and any tips on finding women like that?

Wow your so lost man in order for you to pick out the women you want you need to first work on yourself. With your current descriptions of yourself you WILL NEVER EVER get a girl friend with that attitude. It has unmotivated loser written all over it. You need to read the Dj bible and work on becomming ALOT MORE CONFIDENT so that you can get women. Once you get confidence your her persona of women will change because you will actually have the ability to get women and realizing how easy it was you'll just laugh off your previous ignorance. Bottom line is you are what you make of yourself. If you carry yourself like a loser as you described, then you'll be perceived as one and you will never get a women. However if you carry yourself like a confident, ambitious, outgoing indivual who has a reason for living you will notice that people will respect you more and women will throw themselves at you.

In your current state you shouldn't even be trying to get women because it's just so damn pathtic. Your looking for women to make you love yourself but you will never love yourself until you actually feel good about yourself. Work on your inner game and your confidence and then consider gaming women up. However with no desire to even want to change you will remain the same loser you have been all your life. You come here asking us for advice but you don't even care to change, you don't care to change/help yourself why should we. Oh probably because your used to having people do sh1t for you because it makes your mediocre life more convient.

If worse comes to worse and it's sounding that way, just hire hookers and escorts to release some sexual tension, as for getting a gf thier's a few women hanging out in poverty area's and homeless shelters who would accept you for who you are.