Top ten things to start doing in 2021: 7 of 10.

[RangerMIke]

Initially Resect Everyone: Let me clarify, I do not mean to respect people who are not deserving of respect, but you should always start off with everyone you come across that they are deserving of respect until they prove otherwise.

Everyone you meet knows something you don't. Everyone that does anything in life performs a function that is needed. The man that picks up your garbage is just as important to your day to day life is the CPA that does your taxes every year. People are formed by their experiences, there are reasons why people do the things they do and the beliefs they have

Getting and maintaining respect is the key to having a successful life and the easiest way to get respect from others to to respect them first. Even people that you do not agree with, or not particularly like. As long as they reciprocate respect for you and your opinions, you should maintain the veneer of respect. There are plenty of people in my life that I have little in common with, and almost completely disagree with everything they say and do. But as long as they are consistent, do not allow our disagreements to balloon into open resentment, and return respect for me and my opinions I will respect them. I have a blue-haired lesbian feminist who is an acquaintance.... we disagree on just about everything, I think we could be friends but regrettably her other 'friends' are not as respectful and allow our differences to shape their behavior, we two get along fine... we can have discussions about things without it turning into a childish food fighting rant.

Sometimes you have to burn bridges and make enemies, but you shouldn't do this unnecessarily, or be the first one to do this. Making enemies is not the best way to go around in life. Your enemies will find you without helping them, looking for confrontation by blundering around in a disrespectful manner is a waste of time and energy.

 

[darksprezzatura]

+1

It's better to be loved than feared - Machiavelli
Making alliances is a smart strategy to rise in any social environment.

Life teaches those folks a lesson who naively trust everyone.

Yet trusting folks while knowing the potential of malicious elements is courage.

Vet people properly.

Use your social prowess to get them to open up, invest emotionally in you, while giving them little crumbs about yourself.

Realise most people have a dark side you can't fathom by their appearance or behaviour.

People pleasing is a dark path, conflicts are inevitable, know your own boundaries.

Don't let emotion cloud your response during a conflict.

 

[RangerMIke]

It's better to be loved than feared - Machiavelli

There are three types of power: Coercive power (based on fear), Expert Power (based on knowledge and experience), Charismatic Power (based on charm and persuasion). All generate respect, but charisma is the best your can have. With Charismatic Power people will do what you want because they like you, regardless of proximity or issue at hand. Coercive Power works only when you are present and you ability to exert force. Expert Power is only good when the issue or problem you are dealing with is something you know about, and you will not be able to exert influence on a subject you are unfamiliar with.

 

[darksprezzatura]

There are three types of power: Coercive power (based on fear), Expert Power (based on knowledge and experience), Charismatic Power (based on charm and persuasion). All generate respect, but charisma is the best your can have. With Charismatic Power people will do what you want because they like you, regardless of proximity or issue at hand. Coercive Power works only when you are present and you ability to exert force. Expert Power is only good when the issue or problem you are dealing with is something you know about, and you will not be able to exert influence on a subject you are unfamiliar with.

The biggest drawback of "coercive power" is a potential for coups.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

+1

It's better to be loved than feared - Machiavelli
Making alliances is a smart strategy to rise in any social environment.

Life teaches those folks a lesson who naively trust everyone.

Yet trusting folks while knowing the potential of malicious elements is courage.

Vet people properly.

Use your social prowess to get them to open up, invest emotionally in you, while giving them little crumbs about yourself.

Realise most people have a dark side you can't fathom by their appearance or behaviour.

People pleasing is a dark path, conflicts are inevitable, know your own boundaries.

Don't let emotion cloud your response during a conflict.

That's fireworks. The Prince is a great read.


Fellas should have a go of it. Adopt the sociopathy and attributes that are cut throat regarding time vampires.

No resolution.

I want to be doing more sniper flash game. Just for sport.

I want to read a book a week. About the same as yrs prior.

I want to increase my assets. I want to create more streams of income. I want to make moves in a different trajectory with respect to the game and life.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

It's better to be loved than feared - Machiavelli

You have this backwards. The quote is "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."

"... for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.”

I have respect for other people on my team as it pertains to the work, despite us having completely opposite political views. Like you said @RangerMIke, they know things I don't. If they challenge me and I know I'm right(as it pertains to the work or their methods) I'll stand my ground and let the situation escalate until they back down.

In this sense they concede for fear of catching the attention of management or HR and risking termination. My behavior shows my zeal for the craft, and they respect me for this. This respect isn't rooted in love, but in fear, and breeds admiration instead of hatred.

 

[darksprezzatura]

You have this backwards. The quote is "It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both."

"... for love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails.”

I have respect for other people on my team as it pertains to the work, despite us having completely opposite political views. Like you said @RangerMIke, they know things I don't. If they challenge me and I know I'm right(as it pertains to the work or their methods) I'll stand my ground and let the situation escalate until they back down.

In this sense they concede for fear of catching the attention of management or HR and risking termination. My behavior shows my zeal for the craft, and they respect me for this. This respect isn't rooted in love, but in fear, and breeds admiration instead of hatred.

Thank you for correcting me on the exact quote.

I'd add that in the latter part of the quote it says, "if you cannot be both".

This observation pertains to a situation where you are forced to choose between ONLY ONE amongst the two

In real life, it's tough to be loved and feared at the same time, yet possible.

In my experience, compliance generated out of love is many folds more valuable than generated out of fear of punishment - followed by positive or intermittent reinforcement.

I'd still reiterate, albeit without a direct quote that, it's essential to have respect based out of admiration and love, an element of fear is necessary tho. You're definitely correct about that.

I say this because those observations were made during autocratic rule without a possibility of jumping ship, which isn't true these days.