"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Took girl out, made out, and now won't respond?

OC Speedball

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Ok, I'm having an AFC moment right now. But I've never had this happen to me, so I'm baffled.

I took a girl out to a concert that I met. I called her, and she missed my call, so she called me back. She agreed to go out with me, and was totally stoked about it. At the show I got lots of kino from her, and I returned it. She was brushing up against me the whole time, so during one of the songs I grabbed her and we kissed for a good 20 seconds. She put her arm around me after that for the rest of the concert.

Afterwards I walked her to her car and we made out. She asked me what I was doing the next day and I said work. Texted her later to see if she got home alright and she said she did and she thanked me again for taking her out.

I called her two days later, no message, and didn't get a call back. Then I texted her this morning and got no response. I'm thinking crazy thoughts like she lost her phone, or broke her phone, but that's unlikely. So wtf is up? Anyone had a similar experience?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Young Stallion

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OC Speedball said:
Ok, I'm having an AFC moment right now. But I've never had this happen to me, so I'm baffled.

I took a girl out to a concert that I met. I called her, and she missed my call, so she called me back. She agreed to go out with me, and was totally stoked about it. At the show I got lots of kino from her, and I returned it. She was brushing up against me the whole time, so during one of the songs I grabbed her and we kissed for a good 20 seconds. She put her arm around me after that for the rest of the concert.

Afterwards I walked her to her car and we made out. She asked me what I was doing the next day and I said work. Texted her later to see if she got home alright and she said she did and she thanked me again for taking her out.

I called her two days later, no message, and didn't get a call back. Then I texted her this morning and got no response. I'm thinking crazy thoughts like she lost her phone, or broke her phone, but that's unlikely. So wtf is up? Anyone had a similar experience?

Your actions were not AFC and you did not get an AFC result.

However at the moment you appear to have an AFC mindset. My remedy for you my friend is patience.

She knows you called her, stop thinking all those insecure thoughts and let her come to you.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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Just wait for her to hit you up.

If she never hits you up then it's obvious she has a main dude she is messing with.
 

nismo-4

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Stop worrying. Either one of two things happened.

1. She's super busy :rolleyes:

2. Your princess is in another castle

Spin more plates and you'll forget you got this girl. Don't let her think she has you either, which as I've read, she does. That's my verdict.

Case closed.
 

shizz702

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The ball is in her court now buddy! You made the initiation already and any further attempts will make you look like an afc. Let her get back to you, if she doesn't oh well that's the way it goes and your princess is just in another castle as nismo says on here.

I wouldn't be one bit surprised if she's already gone weird on you, this type of bs is typical. She more than likely though is just stringing you along and making you wait a bit.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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nismo-4

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shizz702 said:
I wouldn't be one bit surprised if she's already gone weird on you, this type of bs is typical. She more than likely though is just stringing you along and making you wait a bit.
Mixed emotions means you're a backup guy, if you're lucky.

When you spin more plates, you have more options. When you have few options, it shows. And you worry. :eek:
 

floydb25

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It's way too early to be worrying about this. One date, and two days, dude. That's literally nothing. You're not even letting her think about you in the time between. That's when all those thoughts appear, and she wonders if you like her. And thus begins the chase (or she lost interest, which would make no difference, since it already happened). It's all backwards. If you did get ahold of her - setting up another date this early is also a bad idea.

If someone is crazy about you - they WILL get ahold of you. They don't just forget. Especially not when the sparks are still high. Acting pushy and showing too much interest will kill her interest, though. You can't lose by being patient and playing it cool. Better yet - you shouldn't CARE if she likes you or not. It's just too early for everything - including your thoughts about this.

But look at it from your perspective. She is potentially being a challenge, not caring as much as you are, and you're getting all anxious over it - especially when this never happens. This is raising your interest, and potentially lowering hers. You want it to be the other way around. Minus the low interest on your part. But doing what she's doing works, and you're proving it. Even if its not intentional, and she genuinely lost interest - its still making you want her more. That's what you gotta look at, and adjust yourself to. That's how the game is learned.
 

Masculinity

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This happens to guys more than you think, bud. My advice is forget about her and if she contacts you, then you're back with her. If she doesn't contact you in a week, give her another phone call--if that does not work, then strike her out.

-Rob
 

the_stig

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This is starting to become a common theme on here. Great date, gets physical, only to never hear from her again. I've had it happen a couple times.

Most likely they found a better option. If you met this one off a dating site that's almost certainly the case. Unless she contacts you, which she probably won't, put this one behind you and move on. It's not worth the energy.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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LoneWolf

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Happens a lot. To myself as well. Met the girl, kissed and all, didn't hear from her for 7 days. Got a text "Hey, how are you? We still on for Saturday?"
 

bigneil

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Chalk it up as a decent date and a "neutral" status in your life.

Go NC until you hear from her (which is almost certain if you wait up to 2 weeks). If you don't hear in 2 weeks the odds go down, but up to a month later is not unlikely.

My current gf would do things like that early on, and in fact 2 months ago (and 2 months after we met) I deleted all her messages, but the next day got 3 Texts so I reprogrammed her. You're not a habit to her in the first 2 months. She simply has other men in her life who have the upper hand.

Since then she hasn't disappeared, but I've always gone NC after dates, waiting up to 10 days recently (that drove her crazy and now she's obsessing). Let them contact you after you drop them off. No more of this "check to see if she got home" crap. Then make them wait until you ask them out again.
 

OC Speedball

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I'm definitely going no contact on her. But there were events going on this weekend that would have been perfect to take her to, that's all. Should have waited a bit longer to hit her up.

This girl is the weirdest I've met as far as the phone goes. I met her on a cold approach in a store. She would take two hours to respond to my texts! (I only sent her probably 5 texts total) I gave up on her and then decided to contact her one night, and she called back.

This girl is in a university, is in two clubs, and spends all day doing homework. She says she never goes out...but it could be BS. I'm just gonna wait it out. Good responses guys.
 

LoneWolf

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Well not like you have a choice. You just have to wait and see if she contacts you. Meanwhile, go find some other chicks... you won't even think about her while you're banging another girl.
 

Robert28

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I'm going against the grain here. piss on all that give her two weeks and call her again crap. you made contact twice, she didnt respond, delete her NOW. if she texts or calls you again, too d@mn bad for her. it takes all of 5 seconds to send a text message saying "hey, sorry ive been busy lately but yeah we're still on for this weekend". 5 God d@m seconds. these guys telling you to give her time and if/when she calls you act like nothing happened are the same guys who come on here and piss and moan about how a girl is running them over and isnt respecting them. this aint a game show where you get chance after chance. she had her shot, she sent you signals that she liked you, she didnt follow up on those signals. so in my opinion that makes her a game playing slut who does that same sh!t on every date she goes on. you wanna go out with a girl like that again???????? if you do more power to you. ive developed a zero tollerance for women and their bs. sure i probably lose out on some that i dont make that extra effort but its 50/50 in my book. they are all about equality, so they can equally call/text you and show interest. if/when she does ever get in touch, tell her you met someone else cause you thought she wasnt interested. thatll put her @$$ in her place.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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f283000

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Mixed emotions means you're a backup guy, if you're lucky.

When you spin more plates, you have more options. When you have few options, it shows. And you worry.
That had to be mentioned. Women spin plates too but some men still refuse to believe that.

Women just can't resist with all the facebook orbiters/dating site orbiters they have it's hard for them to resist not getting their egos boosted by other guys/not experiencing other guys.
 

Jariel

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This happens to me all the time. Everything seems to be going perfectly well, great date, great kiss/sex, even some high interest afterwards, then out of nowhere I just get brushed aside.

I've never been able to find a rational explanation, but maybe that's just it. Chicks are irrational. One day they want their lives to revolve around you, the next they want to forget you even exist.
 

floydb25

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Jariel said:
This happens to me all the time. Everything seems to be going perfectly well, great date, great kiss/sex, even some high interest afterwards, then out of nowhere I just get brushed aside.

I've never been able to find a rational explanation, but maybe that's just it. Chicks are irrational. One day they want their lives to revolve around you, the next they want to forget you even exist.
They go by how they feel in the moment... That's why. Initial interest and a few great dates means nothing. You're simply a new, exciting prospect. This is all very normal, and common. You can't worry about this stuff until you hit the relationship stage. That's when actual feelings are involved. The early dating stages should come with no expectations, because anything can change in an instant. It means nothing.
 

bigneil

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floydb25 said:
The early dating stages should come with no expectations, because anything can change in an instant. It means nothing.
Yes, one of the reasons I have had a successful relationship with a stripper is because for the first 2 months I couldn't take her seriously, even though we had sex. She had to prove herself to me beyond sex. She had to seduce me over time and impress me in other ways (with her wit, etc). She had to ask me to stop dating other women. What a concept!
 

vatoloco

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Like it's been mentioned already, if you were spinning multiple plates, this wouldn't be an issue.

OC Speedball said:
I took a girl out to a concert that I met. I called her, and she missed my call, so she called me back. She agreed to go out with me, and was totally stoked about it. At the show I got lots of kino from her, and I returned it... I called her two days later, no message, and didn't get a call back.
A concert, you say? ;)

"Women will sometimes go out with a guy, just to go out. Women love attention and will get it, one way or another. They go out because they're hungry and you'll pay for a nice dinner. They go out because they wanna go to a concert and you got tickets. They go out because they're bored and you have nothing [no one] else to do. They go out because their boyfriend is out of town and cannot stand to be alone for the weekend. They will kiss you. They may even fuck you. But they may not like you.

And sometimes, just sometimes, they go out with you because they actually like you. ;)"​

bigneil said:
She had to prove herself to me beyond sex. She had to seduce me over time and impress me in other ways (with her wit, etc). She had to ask me to stop dating other women. What a concept!
DAFUQ!!??

What is this crazy concept!? A woman!? Qualifying herself to you!? She wanting you to stop seeing other girls? What is this nonsense!?

:D
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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