Too weird and too intimidating

[Energizer]

"Too weird and too intimidating" is what I'm usually told by women who fancy me, get to know me and then go off me, because my personality is too weird and too much for them to handle and apparently I'm intimidating, indeed my male friends say I can be intimidating.

The fact remains I am always true to myself and others, but it seems as though women expect me to be different, but if I act differently they'll call me a fake.

What should I do?

 

[Blood Angel]

I'd ask what it is that you're doing that makes you come off as intimidating. Also, are you really tall? Are you in good physical shape? Do you have a very deep voice? Lots of facial hair? Just a few things off the top of my head that might make someone seem intimidating. It's more likely that it's your demeanor or something, though.

 

[Energizer]

My personality is peppered with sharp wit and I'm very sarcastic and many people think I should do stand up and I don't know how I am intimidating, I am an average build, I do have stubble but shave about once or twice a week. I'm not sure about a deep voice, but I seldom smile and I see red mist often. I've been told that I walk around like I want to fight with someone. And I do have a short fuse. It's weird how people react to me, I'm a short bastard yet people are intimidated and I have an excellent personality and people think I'm weird. Yet the girls who said these things to me still talk to me etc. Some people really confuse me.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

You probably stare too much. You probably don't smile enough. I am willing to bet more on the smile part.

 

[Energizer]

You probably stare too much. You probably don't smile enough. I am willing to bet more on the smile part.

I constantly day dream which probably means I stare too much and I don't smile much. I only smile when I am generally happy, I don't do this fake ****. Yet it doesn't explain why people think I'm weird. Its like some people think I'm weird and they laugh about it and say I'm legend and I'm a funny guy then you get some girl who thinks I'm disturbed and I'm not all there mentally. What a douche. All I said to her was that most British christmas songs make me wanna cut my little member off and she thinks I'm vile etc because I said that. Man, she should hear what I talk to my mates about, she'd pass out from the vivid images she'd be getting. ****.

 

[jophil28]

My personality is peppered with sharp wit and I'm very sarcastic and many people think I should do stand up and I don't know how I am intimidating, I am an average build, I do have stubble but shave about once or twice a week. I'm not sure about a deep voice, but I seldom smile and I see red mist often. I've been told that I walk around like I want to fight with someone. And I do have a short fuse. It's weird how people react to me, I'm a short bastard yet people are intimidated and I have an excellent personality and people think I'm weird. Yet the girls who said these things to me still talk to me etc. Some people really confuse me.

..." very sarcastic " ...this turns people off because they sense that you
may be about to insult them. Who likes that ?

..." I do have stubble ..." The Miami Vice look died in '89 - stubble just looks scruffy and unwashed. Are you homeless ?

..." I seldom smile' ..people assume that you are in a bad mood .( what's red mist ? Something to do with crap British weather? )

..." walk around looking like I want to fight.." No wonder they avoid you .Who wants to take the chance that you might snap on them ?

..." I do have a short fuse.." see my comment above .

..." I'm a short bastard, yet people are intimidated" = I have ' little man syndrome' and I act like a wannabe thug.

.." I have an excellent personality " ..Oh yeah ?

...:" People think I am weird.".. Perhaps obnoxious would be a better word.

..." Girls..still talk to me "..human kindness know no limits sometimes.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

I constantly day dream which probably means I stare too much and I don't smile much. I only smile when I am generally happy, I don't do this fake ****. Yet it doesn't explain why people think I'm weird. Its like some people think I'm weird and they laugh about it and say I'm legend and I'm a funny guy then you get some girl who thinks I'm disturbed and I'm not all there mentally. What a douche. All I said to her was that most British christmas songs make me wanna cut my little member off and she thinks I'm vile etc because I said that. Man, she should hear what I talk to my mates about, she'd pass out from the vivid images she'd be getting. ****.

Too weird + too intimidating = Creepo! That is not a good thing.

You can either adapt/modify your stance, or keep daydreaming about getting a better and more positive reaction from the opposite sex.

If what you do "naturally" is not getting you what you want, I suggest you modify it.

I used to be naturally clingy. Guess what, I had to sell out and stop being myself, because it wasn't working for me.

If you are satisfied with where you're at, then don't change anything. Do you want to be a weird/funny guy who gets a reaction, yet can't quite figure out why women are getting creeped out? or do you want these women to want to actually want you to take their clothes off. Drop or modify the whole fantasy thing you got going, or just stay living in it. Whatever will make you happy.

I myself have a weird, witty, sarcastic, and at times crass sense of humor. This didn't always work for me. Now I get the "yor are weird..." thing from women, yet they say it in a way they are intrigued and attracted, more times than not, they follow it with "...But I like/want you." It is all about modifying to get what you want.

 

[zekko]

I would say:
1) Cut back on the sarcasm just a bit
2) Don't talk about your wiener
3) Get into the practice of smiling more. It won't hurt you to smile. Smiling can actually make you feel happier, so do it for yourself. It makes you appear more friendly and approachable. And it takes the edge off of the sarcastic remarks that you make. You'd be surprised at what you can get away with saying if you just smile. You're a DJ, so you have something to smile about.
4) Try not to daydream when you are in social situations. Make time for yourself when you can daydream. When you are being social you should be in the moment and not in your head. Focus on what is going on around you while believing in yourself and your own value.

 

[Energizer]

..." very sarcastic " ...this turns people off because they sense that you
may be about to insult them. Who likes that ?

..." I do have stubble ..." The Miami Vice look died in '89 - stubble just looks scruffy and unwashed. Are you homeless ?

..." I seldom smile' ..people assume that you are in a bad mood .( what's red mist ? Something to do with crap British weather? )

..." walk around looking like I want to fight.." No wonder they avoid you .Who wants to take the chance that you might snap on them ?

..." I do have a short fuse.." see my comment above .

..." I'm a short bastard, yet people are intimidated" = I have ' little man syndrome' and I act like a wannabe thug.

.." I have an excellent personality " ..Oh yeah ?

...:" People think I am weird.".. Perhaps obnoxious would be a better word.

..." Girls..still talk to me "..human kindness know no limits sometimes.

I do tongue in cheek humour, if I call someone ginger, it's because I am referring to their natural hair colour, if they find it insulting that's their problem. Maybe they shouldn't be so insecure?

I shave most weeks, sometimes I don't and it grows, facial hair is natural for a man, and that's what I am a man. I'm not a metrosexual who shaves his nuts twice a week, I am a man. I'm a Tom, and millions of women who fancy Eddie Vedder and fancied Kurt Cobain. So that disproves your point doesn't it?

Red Mist is what I see when I'm angry, and if people find me intimidating that's their problem. I'm one of the nicest, funniest people you can meet, but I stand up for myself and I have a ruthless streak and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Displaying emotions is not a weakness, but a strength. If Im happy I'll show it, if I'm angry I'll show it etc. I don't act like a wannabe thug, but if someone wants to play fisty cuffs, I;m right in there ploughing away, I'm no thug. And yeah I have an excellent personality, loads of people have said so, you'd have to meet me to understand...

How am I obnoxious? If people think I am obnoxious they can KMT as far as I'm concerned.

 

[Energizer]

Too weird + too intimidating = Creepo! That is not a good thing.

You can either adapt/modify your stance, or keep daydreaming about getting a better and more positive reaction from the opposite sex.

If what you do "naturally" is not getting you what you want, I suggest you modify it.

I used to be naturally clingy. Guess what, I had to sell out and stop being myself, because it wasn't working for me.

If you are satisfied with where you're at, then don't change anything. Do you want to be a weird/funny guy who gets a reaction, yet can't quite figure out why women are getting creeped out? or do you want these women to want to actually want you to take their clothes off. Drop or modify the whole fantasy thing you got going, or just stay living in it. Whatever will make you happy.

I myself have a weird, witty, sarcastic, and at times crass sense of humor. This didn't always work for me. Now I get the "yor are weird..." thing from women, yet they say it in a way they are intrigued and attracted, more times than not, they follow it with "...But I like/want you." It is all about modifying to get what you want.

I'm hoping to go into the Army in less than three years. If I make the grade there is a chance I'll die on operations or get seriously injured on operations. I will not change who I am, if women don't like me that's fine, I refuse to become a DJ if it means compromising who I am and what I am. I'd even leave this forum than force myself to change something that I am.

And judging by what you have said, I'm like you, just worse.

 

[Energizer]

I would say:
1) Cut back on the sarcasm just a bit
2) Don't talk about your wiener
3) Get into the practice of smiling more. It won't hurt you to smile. Smiling can actually make you feel happier, so do it for yourself. It makes you appear more friendly and approachable. And it takes the edge off of the sarcastic remarks that you make. You'd be surprised at what you can get away with saying if you just smile. You're a DJ, so you have something to smile about.
4) Try not to daydream when you are in social situations. Make time for yourself when you can daydream. When you are being social you should be in the moment and not in your head. Focus on what is going on around you while believing in yourself and your own value.

Cut back on what I do best? I suppose I could give it a whirl and see what happens.
Talk about my weener etc is tongue in cheek, it was just a passing comment and this ***** is in a relationship, so wtf is she checking me out for? Daft cow.

I do smile, just not when I'm not happy, if Im angry I wont fake smile. who does that? And I'm not a DJ. People like Kontroller X, Warrior and Igetit are DJ's, Pook being the main one, I cant be a DJ until I become virtually perfect. I find one fault about myself and I fix it, and then I find another one and another one.

I hate that I have to keep changing myself to appeal to a walking, talking vagina.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

Dude, seriously, no offense meant, but perhaps you shouldn't change anything. Maybe the dating, sexing, and interacting with females is not in the cards for you. If you are happy they way you are, and how youre interactions with women usually go, then more power to you.

Yes, most people here are nice, and have great personalities and have a sense of humor, yet their uniqueness is not quite getting them what they want, and all share one thing in common. They (we) want to get better at this. Your mother might think you are just wonderful, and perfect. Your friends accept you. The females you are attracted to think you might be a great friend, from a distance, when they are not feeling creeped out. If you really want to find out how you come across, ask them to write out 3 things they like about you, and 3 things they think you could use some work on. Tell them to spare your feelings and help you with their honest, no holds barred constructive feedback. You will be surprised at how scarily similar the posts are, from both men and women.

The fact that you post here for help says you are not happy with your situation. A couple of the better and more respected posters in here offered you advice, and your attitude seems to be, "I am not changing who I am, everyone who doesn't like me can kiss my a$s", etc. Well, maybe you're ok with being asexual or repressed. I supposed you are here to learn from some of the knowledge these posters have learned through a lifetime. If that's not the case, why do you even post in here?

You are not the way I am. You are the way I used to be. I used to say similar things you say, like, "I hate that I have to change my ways in order to appeal to women and people in general." Looking back, I wouldn't even like the me of way back then. I was living in the SHOULDS, NOT ON THE WAY THINGS REALLY ARE.

 

[Energizer]

I've changed so much about myself though. My hair, my clothes, my smell and the way I bahave. Its because of this site that I actually got laid at all. I'd still be an AFC Virgin if it were't for this site. But one thing you must know is that I never thought i'd need to change my personality/character or humour to get a girl. I'm not the most handsome of men, I'm not rich and I'm certainly not the lion of the jungle, but one thing I always counted on was my personality and now that is being challenged, I really feel like an AFC. i feel like ****e in all honesty, where do i go from here?

 

[jophil28]

I do tongue in cheek humour, if I call someone ginger, it's because I am referring to their natural hair colour, if they find it insulting that's their problem. Maybe they shouldn't be so insecure?

I shave most weeks, sometimes I don't and it grows, facial hair is natural for a man, and that's what I am a man. I'm not a metrosexual who shaves his nuts twice a week, I am a man. I'm a Tom, and millions of women who fancy Eddie Vedder and fancied Kurt Cobain. So that disproves your point doesn't it?

Red Mist is what I see when I'm angry, and if people find me intimidating that's their problem. I'm one of the nicest, funniest people you can meet, but I stand up for myself and I have a ruthless streak and I wear my heart on my sleeve. Displaying emotions is not a weakness, but a strength. If Im happy I'll show it, if I'm angry I'll show it etc. I don't act like a wannabe thug, but if someone wants to play fisty cuffs, I;m right in there ploughing away, I'm no thug. And yeah I have an excellent personality, loads of people have said so, you'd have to meet me to understand...

How am I obnoxious? If people think I am obnoxious they can KMT as far as I'm concerned.

I am amazed (and even a little in awe ) at how you repacked your primitive belief system and crude social skills and then relabeled them as virtues.

Delusion is an attribute much like denial. The sufferer is blind to what is obvious to the observer.

 

[Energizer]

I am amazed (and even a little in awe ) at how you repacked your primitive belief system and crude socail skills and then relabeled them as virtues.

Advice me on where I'm going wrong seriously because it's getting to the point now where I've written myself off as a failure.