Too soon but have fun with it anyway?

[bmp2cpm]

All, good points. I think unless things are spectacular Saturday, there's no point in even considering FL.

Thursday I didn't send her a single text the entire day. I sent her a text this morning and she responded immediately wanting to know if I was busy with work late last night. So, not texting, seemed to raise the interest level slightly.

I do have other options, but as she's showing some signs of interest, I want to see if I can get the interest up even more. And if not, then I move on.

Today via text she said "I was going out last night. Then I realized I always make myself available for this person when they have time. I finally had to end it because once again I was settling. If someone does not know how to prioritize their life then I can't be a part of that. "

I replied "Prioritize their life or prioritize you?"

She responded "Both. If you can't prioritize life you definitely cannot prioritize me. I am always on high alert that someone is going to use me. I think I have to work on that a little. "

I responded "Good for you for ending a situation where you felt you were settling."

Also, her routine about "I should date this type of person." or "I should just go to FL and hang out at a bar and see if anyone will talk to me" has troubled me. I wondered if she was hinting she wanted me to commit to her early on in some way, so I asked her the following:

"With your last boyfriend, how long did you two date before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend?"

She responded "That's an interesting question. I have never been in a committed relationship since my separation/divorce. I was too busy with a terrible divorce...and my life turning upside down. I had so much going on that a long term relationship would have been toxic. Honestly, I'm scared to be in one......now I'm in a different place so I have put looking for a relationship on the backburner. I truly believe it's going to be someone I have a strong friendship with and it will progress from there."

I responded "Good way to look at it."

Thoughts on any of this? Does it mean anything? I'm not sure.

Also, she said on the second date that her fortune teller mentioned she would get into a relationship with some who is in the same industry as me. Heck, my ex-wife married me in part because of what her fortune teller told her. So maybe the fortune teller will get me a trip to FL.

My plan Saturday is outdoors, huge Gardens, lot's of walking and opportunities for kino and kissing. Driving back I'll ask her if she wants to see my newly painted home and see if she if she'll agree to stop by at my place. I have trouble interpreting this girl and her actions. Hopefully lot's of kino and kissing will help with the situation.

Thanks for everyone's input! To be continued...

 

[BeExcellent]

I replied "Prioritize their life or prioritize you?"

She responded "Both. If you can't prioritize life you definitely cannot prioritize me. I am always on high alert that someone is going to use me. I think I have to work on that a little.

Oh boy. She has just told her you entire problem ^^^ right there. AND....

a long term relationship would have been toxic. Honestly, I'm scared to be in one......now I'm in a different place so I have put looking for a relationship on the backburner. I truly believe it's going to be someone I have a strong friendship with and it will progress from there."

^^^ Right there.

Allow me to translate for you: What she is saying is that she thinks men are out to use her, that she is scared of relationships, that an LTR would be toxic, and that she wants friendship first. She has just told you everything you need to know.

She is talking about other guys with you, and her fortune teller and dating this and that because she wants to see if you are going to do the "friend" thing with her. Without benefits. She doesn't want to feel "used."

This woman is looking for an orbiter. You are complying because of her SMV. She is preparing you for the let down about sex already. It is all written clear as day in those texts.

She thinks she is a princess and wants a beta guy. That is different (and worse in some ways) than a gold digger. You know, someone she can string along until she decides she might be OK to fvck him. You know, when & if she feels like it...after you are besties.

If she wanted you hot & heavy you would already know.

My comments earlier should be set aside based upon this information. Take her on the date tomorrow and escalate. I predict she will not comply with you and she will say she feels used/is scared/doesn't trust things/isn't ready, etc.etc.etc. when you escalate. I doubt she will go home with you based on what she has said. Maybe you are the guy who can cut through all this crap and get her revved up for your package. But it seems to me a rather tall order.

I think you'll be lucky to get lucky on this one. But by all means give it a go. Hopefully I am dead wrong, but I doubt it.

 

[Tenacity]

bmp2cpm,

Listen my friend lol, she's fickle. There's nothing to analyze, when you are dealing with fickle women all of the things you learned about seduction, DJ'ing, PUA, etc., go out of the window because fickle women provide you an artificial display of their "persona" rather than their natural persona.

Online dating sites are FILLED with women like this. "Regular" women do not date 10 guys at once and filter them off like this is a damn dating reality show, only fickle women do that. This is why their interest levels seem to go UP, down, UP, down, very rapidly. You have to spot this upfront and just filter these chicks out. She's not worth the time. If you are going to use OLD, filter until you get to "regular" women and you will just KNOW she's a regular woman, because she will resemble the type of natural-based responses and "flow" that you receive from women that you did not meet on OLD.

OLD is filled with at least 70% fickle women. I've been doing it so long, I can spot a fickle woman from just the way she types in the inbox. It comes off artificial, fake, prescribed, and non-natural. Also if ANY OLD woman uses any of these buzz words and phrases, it's a sign she's fickle:

- If she says anything about "chemistry" or "having chemistry"

- If she says anything about "seeing if we click"

- If she says anything about "wanting a man to court her"

- If she is very formal about how she sets up the date, where she's setting up the date like a damn secretary setting up a business appointment for the CEO.

- If she says anything about "being a Christian" and using such religion as a way to make you "see her differently" or treat her a certain way

In addition to the above, again, another way to spot the fickle chick is her interest level rapidly going up and down, seemingly by the day or even by the hour.

Regular, natural, women do not behave like this, they don't use buzz words like this, they don't use phrases like this. You see them, you go up to them, you hit it off....exchange numbers, and it moves forward on it's own accord and "flow". None of this extra bullshyt.

Fickle women are NOT worth the effort, trust me. I'm willing to bet you this woman has been on OLD for a long time, OR, she has given her number to you and about 10 - 20 other guys at the same time. Regular, natural women do NOT do that, only fickle women do.

 

[Huffman]

You know, someone she can string along until she decides she might be OK to fvck him. You know, when & if she feels like it...after you are besties.

I must quote this because I just read another thread where a girl wrote "I Slept with this guy I used to datemy freshman year in college (10 years ago)".
Anyway if put like this then sex is a commodity achieved through cold negotiation instead of burning passion. Good luck.

 

[bmp2cpm]

OK, so we had our date today. It started out alright. We held hands a lot. Kissed a few times. I did a lot of touching her back and shoulders. She does these push pull things with me. Like she tells me how she doesn't stay over night ever with a guy, except this one guy when it "felt right".

We did go back to my place. I made the excuse to show her my "newly painted home". She showed very uncomfortable body language at my place, so I did not try to escalate things. But she did see my home. We were then going to have a late lunch/early dinner at the mall but there was a wait at this one restaurant and she seemed anxious to get home. We're about 1.5 hours drive from each other. So that was that.

But, before we even made it to my home, she kind of unleashed a bombshell...the guy she told me that she ended things on Thursday is her "rebound guy" from the marriage. If I do my math right, she's been dating this guy on and off for almost 3 years while dating several other guys.

So, I'm not happy I wasted my time dating her when she's clearly been in some kind of a relationship with another guy. But does that fact she broke up with him just before our date mean anything? Could she like me and think I might be a good option, but she's too emotionally attached to the other guy? Is she just conflicted?

I was thinking about Des' "High Score" theory and this "rebound" guy clearly has a very high score with her. I don't even rank with her, I think.

This girl is all over the place with her situation.

We said goodbye at the mall. I told her to have a good time in FL. She leaves next Wednesday. When she got home, she texted "Thanks for taking me to the gardens today." Is she just being polite, or telling me I should stick around to be an "orbiter"?

I'm completely disengaging and putting zero energy in this one. I figure before she leaves for FL, I'll text "Ask the psychic in FL if you and I should go on another date," and see what happens. But unless something changes and she shows consistent high interest, no more texting or dating with this one.

To be clear, she is not OLD any more. I was the last one she dated before canceling her Match account over a month ago. She didn't even sign up, her sister did it for her.

On a bright note, this eHarmony girl texted me earlier in the week showing high interest and I was feeling so confident after that 2nd date with the Match girl, that I told her "I might be off the market soon." eHarmony girl replied that we shouldn't meet but to let her know if things change. So I told her today it didn't work out and she's insisting that we meet. I told her "I don't know that you should reconsider meeting me, as my one true soulmate would fight for me, not go the other direction at the slightest hint of competition." Very high interest now. lol So I'm meeting her at her local Starbucks tomorrow morning.

I have another prospect that is not online, but she's in the process of moving, so we can't meet up until things settle down for her. She's a friend of a friend and I'm "pre-vetted". She's a very promising option.

It didn't work out with the Match Girl. But my situation could be worse. Thanks everyone for your insight.

 

[CMNILS87]

OK, so we had our date today. It started out alright. We held hands a lot. Kissed a few times. I did a lot of touching her back and shoulders. She does these push pull things with me. Like she tells me how she doesn't stay over night ever with a guy, except this one guy when it "felt right".

We did go back to my place. I made the excuse to show her my "newly painted home". She showed very uncomfortable body language at my place, so I did not try to escalate things. But she did see my home. We were then going to have a late lunch/early dinner at the mall but there was a wait at this one restaurant and she seemed anxious to get home. We're about 1.5 hours drive from each other. So that was that.

But, before we even made it to my home, she kind of unleashed a bombshell...the guy she told me that she ended things on Thursday is her "rebound guy" from the marriage. If I do my math right, she's been dating this guy on and off for almost 3 years while dating several other guys.

So, I'm not happy I wasted my time dating her when she's clearly been in some kind of a relationship with another guy. But does that fact she broke up with him just before our date mean anything? Could she like me and think I might be a good option, but she's too emotionally attached to the other guy? Is she just conflicted?

I was thinking about Des' "High Score" theory and this "rebound" guy clearly has a very high score with her. I don't even rank with her, I think.

This girl is all over the place with her situation.

We said goodbye at the mall. I told her to have a good time in FL. She leaves next Wednesday. When she got home, she texted "Thanks for taking me to the gardens today." Is she just being polite, or telling me I should stick around to be an "orbiter"?

I'm completely disengaging and putting zero energy in this one. I figure before she leaves for FL, I'll text "Ask the psychic in FL if you and I should go on another date," and see what happens. But unless something changes and she shows consistent high interest, no more texting or dating with this one.

To be clear, she is not OLD any more. I was the last one she dated before canceling her Match account over a month ago. She didn't even sign up, her sister did it for her.

On a bright note, this eHarmony girl texted me earlier in the week showing high interest and I was feeling so confident after that 2nd date with the Match girl, that I told her "I might be off the market soon." eHarmony girl replied that we shouldn't meet but to let her know if things change. So I told her today it didn't work out and she's insisting that we meet. I told her "I don't know that you should reconsider meeting me, as my one true soulmate would fight for me, not go the other direction at the slightest hint of competition." Very high interest now. lol So I'm meeting her at her local Starbucks tomorrow morning.

I have another prospect that is not online, but she's in the process of moving, so we can't meet up until things settle down for her. She's a friend of a friend and I'm "pre-vetted". She's a very promising option.

It didn't work out with the Match Girl. But my situation could be worse. Thanks everyone for your insight.

DO NOT TEXT HER BACK!!!!

You're a man, respectable and high achieving pharmacist.....go date some other gals that actually maybe "desire" you. 3 dates and no sex at her age means she isn't horny much or she's got a couple of 21 year old cabana boys she's ****ing. She wants nothing to do with you and it sucks to see it that way. Don't settle for anything less than what you expect

 

[Tenacity]

bmp,

You might not believe me, but there's nothing you did wrong. The girl was fickle, like I've been saying OLD is filled with about 70% of women like this who just "play a role". It was just all a fake game bmp, that's what I'm trying to tell you.

Also don't be surprised if this woman is also on OKC, POF, and/or other dating sites right now. Do not believe any type of bullshyt about how her "sister" signed her up, that's complete bullshyt.

Like I said, with a fickle woman she will give you her number and 10 - 20 other guys, date ALL of you guys, but do NOTHING with nobody. Her agenda is to get free dates, as well as entertain herself with the large number of guys willing to do all of this "stuff" to impress her. She gets off on it.

Trust me, I'm not lying to you. I know this is like NOTHING you have ever experienced before and I was freaked out about the shyt too. You are mainly going to find these types of women on OLD, you really don't see them from meeting women in other places or even on social media that's NOT OLD such as Facebook.

You didn't do anything wrong, you aren't an AFC, you aren't a "beta", you aren't (insert whatever lame Manosphere title here), the woman was a fickle OLD serial dater. This wasn't your fault, you just didn't know, but I'm trying to make you aware that when you pull women from OLD, you are going to run across these types of women and when you SPOT ONE, do NOT waste your time meeting up with her.

Dude I can tell now from the inbox conversation and now especially from the telephone conversation if the girl is going to be fickle. Just listen for the buzz words and phrases I listed out earlier, watch how her communication will be stupid, watch how her interest level/signs will be COMPLETELY unnatural.

For example, any girl you meet anywhere else that's non-OLD and non-fickle, will NOT go in a guy's place if her interest level isn't very high and she "might" end up fvcking him. No other girl will do this....but a fickle one will, why? Because it's all a game to her. She's just playing a role.

 

[Kailex]

Whenever someone tells me that they are smitten and just want to have fun, I see a contradiction.

It's a recipe for disaster. I wouldn't go along with Florida, and yes, she is qualifying you, repeatedly. I don't like it, but hey if you are smitten, and want to see how the tables can turn on you on a dime, by all means, proceed.