Too polite, compassionate and sensitive

[AMF]

Jariel, you seem to spend most of your time here posting either (a) your numerous assumed weaknesses, or (b) your numerous assumed assets. The amount of self-analysis is staggering.

I consider myself to possess all the attributes you do. Sincerely, I have NEVER been rejected and I have NEVER had problems finding quality women. Right now, Im with the best girl Ive literally ever met.

What do you think is the difference between you and I? This is anything but a taunt or a flame - its a serious question.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by AMF
What do you think is the difference between you and I? This is anything but a taunt or a flame - its a serious question.

It's a valid question and I've given it some thought. To give you an honest answer: I'm overanalytical and I'm very insecure.

 

[SurfsupinHawaii]

dont sweat it too much man, just work on overcomming your insecurities. we all have them, some just hide them and dont think of them as often as others do.

 

[StringShredder]

Originally posted by Jariel
I don't want to put on a jerk act or start dressing like a thug, but I do need some serious help on this as I really don't know what it is about me that seems so innocent or how to change it.

One of the words you mentioned that describe you is ``untouchable''. How about you touch women? Arm, waist, you know. Kino!

I asked my friend about it and he believes that my compassion for others could be perceived as a vulnerability.

Or is it just a veneer to avoid aggressive interaction? Compassion is something that necessarily shows up as a polite behavior. Treating people with silk gloves isn't the same as compassion; it's the avoidance of real interaction, which involves disagreement, conflict and other nasty things.

Compassion comes into play when someone is in a truly bad situation. You then have to decide whether or not to help somehow, based on some value system that determines for you whether they deserve it from you.

A hard, rough man can be compassionate.

It is true that I'm afraid of hurting anybody and treat people with care, but is this really a weakness?

Not being real is a social weakness, that is all.

As far as not hurting ``anybody'', you better well be prepared to hurt some people who are out to hurt you! I hereby pledge I will strangle anyone who breaks into my apartment, if I'm there, and able to.

 

[StringShredder]

There is an very good book that was published in the 1970's you should perhaps read. It's called Creative Aggression: The Art of Assertive Living by George R. Bach and Herb Goldberg.