too nice

[Scaramouche]

OH Jeremy Michael,
You really are precious.....If you wait for"Clearer Signals"from a Woman,you will become old and grey.....I suppose you think the thoughts on this site are whimsical fiction...well I suppose a few are,but to an educated man you must see that many of the Mature Guys,carry the scars of past mistakes,regretfully remember all the lost chances and opportunities,listen to their advice....Now for starters look how Jophil words his "Date" he doesn't implore on bended knees for a date with carefully worded opportunities for her to back out,the last think on his mind is that she will reject him,he couldn't care anyway...It is this Devil may care attitude you must cultivate Jeremy....But Jeremy fate has smiled on you,helping a girl like that with her car would be seen by her as a big deal...The phone business suggests that deep down this Lady is as reserved and shy as you are,she has been studying most of her life in a very staid community,she wouldn't want a bar of the patrons in your Pub,their hedonistic approach to life would disgust her....You Jeremy Michael represent an Island of sanctuary in a Stormy Sea,for crying out loud keep the beach open so she may land her little boat..

 

[hithard]

He is choking at the major part of his game. Too focused on one thing IMO. Either Relax and not worry about the potential to get shot down. Or start spinning plates. You are too self conscious about doing or saying the wrong thing at the moment. Waiting till everything’s perfect may take forever. Is it because she is your only option that you are so hesitant? Listen if you ask and get shot down simply start talking to and enjoying other women till you have more options. With out a doubt once this is done you will get a second stab at her when your confidence has grown a bit.

Not converting the first time doesn’t mean that is it. You can always go back for another bite of the pie. So don’t stress on making a mistake the first time round.

Personally I would open my options a bit more with other women to lose your nice tag. But you might make this an excuse not to ask her out or delay a bit more.So ask her out.

 

[gösta berling]

Strange! When I read that first post, my thoughts were that you're way too
late, and that this woman made up her mind about you a long time ago.

Great advice from many guys here though!

Let us know what happened.

 

[Jazz]

A year? When on your game, you should be able to close the deal within 4-10 hours with a woman. Asking these questions won't help the fact that you've most likely had multiple opportunities to escalate the relationship, but didn't. Most women open the window for a short amount of time, and if you miss it, they aren't going to open it up again.

You need to make your move NOW and hope that she hasn't locked the window shut. You're in real danger of entering the friends zone (if you haven't already).

 

[Jeremymichael]

I came to the conclusion last night that I'm already in friend zone, and I've lost interest. Many thanks to everyone for their input though.

 

[Alexander the Great]

From what you wrote it seems like she is giving you all sorts of signals, saying: "I want you to make a move on me."

You like her too that way. Don't be afraid to "ruin" the friendship, if you are. You don't want to be just friends with her anyway. Right?

Make a move. Undivided attention, kino, work her up to that kiss, the works. Go for it.

Remember: Rejection is better than regret.

 

[Jeremymichael]

we are now on kissing on cheek terms on meeting and greeting. I really don't do this kind of thing. Happened twice the other night, she does it with everyone.

Also I had an embarassing evening the other night. Being a bit drunk after talking to her in the bar I sent her a text message saying something like " I think you are special, don't ever change". I felt terrible the next day. There should be an alcohol detecter on your mobile phone that turns off text messaging after say three beers

 

[Franky Four Fingers]

I guess I need to make my move very soon. Do you think I'm too old for her, I'm 38\39 and she is 26.

Hugh Hefner (regardless of his money, thats not the point) is like 85 and he has 3 women aged 25 all the way down to 21 as his girlfriends who live with him and all have sex with him and millions of people watch him on his cable TV program "girls next door" and men thinks he a hero and your worried about an age difference of 39 to 26?

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear JeremyMichael,
little by little your personality is being fleshed out in your mails...from the latest,I would reconsider my previous opinions...No this girl just sees you as a good bloke,a mate...she will be off soon anyway...look try and socialise a little,at the risk of seeming tedious take up some form of dancing I would suggest Ballroom,you will gradually pick up social skills if you do...

 

[Jeremymichael]

The cheek kissing really did it for me. Any ideas how to get out of this silly ritual?

 

[SharpGame]

Yeah, kiss her lips.

 

[sodbuster]

When she goes to kiss your cheek, turn your head so she plants one on your lips. What does she have to do? hit you alongside the head with a bat and do you while you are laying there quivering?

 

[Jeremymichael]

Hello everyone just a quick update. No movement yet and I'm wondering if this may now be dead. Was in the bar last night for live music and she was there. Not much was happening and I managed to get talking to another girl in the group, bit older than me and suddenly she starts hanging around me looking at me in the eyes. So just when I thought the situation maybe dead she started to show interest.

However as the night progressed nothing materialized, I think I tried kino (touching on the shoulder) at one stage whilst talking to her and she said something like I think I will go back into the pub for a while (we were outside in the bear garden).

So not sure were I stand, if anywhere. I forgot to mention that she told me this bloke had told her she seemed unsure of herself and a bit stuck up. I guess I'll just skip the pub for a while

 

[TheBucketOfTruth]

Hello everyone just a quick update. No movement yet and I'm wondering if this may now be dead. Was in the bar last night for live music and she was there. Not much was happening and I managed to get talking to another girl in the group, bit older than me and suddenly she starts hanging around me looking at me in the eyes. So just when I thought the situation maybe dead she started to show interest.

It sounds like she was jealous. Use that to your advantage. Go talk to other girls, dance with them, etc. and if she keeps popping in at those times, you know she can't stand to see you with them. When she suddenly pops in from out of nowhere, just say something like "well look who decided to join the party" and then continue to focus more of your attention on the other girl. That will drive her nuts.

I forgot to mention that she told me this bloke had told her she seemed unsure of herself and a bit stuck up. I guess I'll just skip the pub for a while

Here she is just seeking validation from you. She wants you to stroke her ego and say how wrong the guy is and how great she is. Don't do it!

 

[Jeffst1980]

You ARE "too nice."
You're waiting for HER to make a move on YOU.
Every time you see her somewhere, you sit and twiddle your thumbs until she leaves, and then you conclude that she's not interested.
You are overanalyzing EVERYTHING. Your "updates" should instead read: "Update: I did nothing, and nothing happened."
A little bit of weak kino is NOT gonna suddenly make her jump you. Sorry--YOU have to initiate things.

For starters, you need to get her #--for real this time--and ask her out with you, one on one. Going to the same pub as her is NOT a date.

At this point, she's either given up on you or about to give up. However, you DID have sufficient signals to believe she was attracted to you. Keep this in mind for the future.

You don't have anything to lose by inviting her out with you. You shouldn't fear rejection--you're rejecting YOURSELF by not acting.

 

[Jeremymichael]

well one of the reasons I feel reluctant to make the move is the fact she has many boy "friends" and she always makes the first move to see them. I heard once saying to this painter and decorator friend " I must come and see you in my lunch break". I never hear her say anything like that to me. Anyway she does not have many female friends which is strange. One thing I really like onced, was the fact she winked at my from afar whilst working at the bar, and it seemed very genuine (kindly if anything)

Somehow though the prolonged eye glancing and suggested kino is no proof of interest and I therefore reluctant to make the move, if anything I am getting a bit bored with her. All very frustrating. I know I should lead but I don't want egg on my chin!.