too nice

[Jeremymichael]

There is a girl, who I quite like and I'm wondering what to do.

We meet from time to time in my local bar. There is live music twice a week and she is good company. She is currently single and is from South Africa, but has a history of boyfriends who are a bit older than her, she is 26.

We have been talking on and off for about a year, and she seems to like my company, but no obvious signs of interest, apart from one night when she seemed to be staring at me. I probably had a spot on my nose?.

Anyway I thought I would test her interest and use some kino and see how she reacted. I was in a bar a few weeks ago and on seeing her I came up to her and gave her a hug and send "great to see etc.." She went off to see her friends and I stayed with mine. That night she glanced over to me a few times, a comment one of my friends made.

Anyway a week on and I'm in the bar talking and I feel a stroke on my shoulder, with her saying "Hi, how you doing?". We talked in a group collectively and at the end of the evening before leaving she kissed me on the cheek and put her arm around me. This had not happened previously, no touching at all.

Anyway fast forward to last night. I was in the bar and she was with her female friend talking, so I never got a chance to talk, until her friend left later in the evening. At one stage I was out in the beer garden and we eventually got talking. At that stage another couple of girls came out and we chatted as a group. I didn't want to appear that I was too interested in the other girl, so I kept trying to bring her into the conversation. At one point this girl said, "I'm sorry is that your girlfriend?". At which point the girl I'm interested in said "No I'm not his girlfriend, we've known each other for years, then changed it to a year".

When I went back into the bar, she made a comment "Your problem is your too nice", at which point I said "No I'm not", then she went on to make some other comments like "You look like your scared".

Anyway the evening finished, and I'm wondering what to make of it, any ideas?. Or how I should react in the future?.

 

[mrRuckus]

When I went back into the bar, she made a comment "Your problem is your too nice", at which point I said "No I'm not", then she went onto make some other comments like "You look like your scared".

Anyway the evening finished, and I'm wondering what to make of it, any ideas?. Or how I should react in the future?.

You should start listing all her problems. Start with "fat." Women like having their flaws pointed out just as much as you do (a lot).

 

[Jeremymichael]

unfortunately she is very slim!

 

[hithard]

Ummm date other chicks. Don’t put life on hold for a maybe. You seem too overly focused on this one chick. You should be comfortable talking to other women without worrying what she is thinking. Put it on the backburner for a while.

 

[jophil28]

....she made a comment "Your problem is your too nice", at which point I said "No I'm not", then she went onto make some other comments like "You look like your scared".

Anyway the evening finished, and I'm wondering what to make of it, any ideas?. Or how I should react in the future?.

Let me take a stab at this..
SHe is PROVOKING you.

SHe says "...you are too nice"

In womangobbledygook means, " ... for f**ks sake do something BAD. I like you. Make a move."


She the says "...you look like you are scared."

More woman code for ," ..for f**ks sake do something BAD , I really like you..make a fvkking move on me ."

YOu have ONE more window dude. THat would be the next time you see her.

 

[LoneSilver]

F*ckin' right on you took the words right out of my mouth...plus he needs to act like he's got a penis instead of acting like it's missing in action...

LoneSilver

Let me take a stab at this..
SHe is PROVOKING you.

SHe says "...you are too nice"

In womangobbledygook means, " ... for f**ks sake do something BAD. I like you. Make a move."


She the says "...you look like you are scared."

More woman code for ," ..for f**ks sake do something BAD , I really like you..make a fvkking move on me ."

YOu have ONE more window dude. THat would be the next time you see her.

 

[speed dawg]

Sounds like she's into you and you've been acting aloof so you've kept some interest. But being too far aloof is a bad thing.

This isn't a situation where you ask her for a date. Next time you see her out, take her somewhere right then where you'll be alone. Use your wits, you'll come up with something. And if she really is indeed into you, anywhere will be a good choice, she'll follow you. And let the face sucking commence.

You have to man up sooner or later. Just be cool about it. And after it's over, don't treat her any different than before. Don't go off trying to act like her protector or some sh1t. Damn I loved those days, I get chills just thinking about chasing the poon around the bars, and then the pinnacle of the night, fvcking a random in the bathroom.

Good luck.

 

[Jeremymichael]

Hello everyone, thanks for the wonderful advice. I guess I need to make my move very soon. Do you think I'm too old for her, I'm 38\39 and she is 26.

She is working in the pub tonight and I know it will be quiet so maybe it will be a good opportunity to chat. Last time I saw her she said she was fed up of being single (in front of a group of friends) and might go back to SA at the end of the year. Could be a bluff?.

Anyway I might just go for it, and so be it!
:nervous:

 

[speed dawg]

Dude, shut the fvck up, quit thinking about it and just DO IT!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jeremy Michael,
As per usual,Jophil has it right,you have to do something more than just intellectuallise....Can I say this girl working in a boozer seems a Petunia growing in an Onion patch.Can't you see she is looking for a nice secure decent guy,someone like you....the key to it all is her being from South Africa....When I lived there,to meet a Caucasian Girl particularly in the Boer areas you had to go to Church,no pubs,Sure in Natal it was more like a Commonwealth Country but elsewhere they were just so straight laced...Trying to talk to Barmaids is a lost cause,get a date,read up about South Africa,an amazing place by the way...then just talk,it will all happen naturally...once the dreary English Winter kicks in again,without romance she will probably be off..

 

[jophil28]

Hello everyone, thanks for the wonderful advice. I guess I need to make my move very soon. Do you think I'm too old for her, I'm 38\39 and she is 26.

Geez no wonder the British Empire is no longer a recognizable force.

WTF are you asking this lame question about her age for ?
If you wait too much longer, some bad dude who is my age and who gives not ONE thought to the consequences of his actions when seducing much younger women will get her naked and horny and your oppotunity will be lost FOREVER.

 

[decades]

I think if you don't get moving soon you will be too old for Brigette Bardo.

 

[Demodulate]

sounds easy to me..

"hey, lets go grab dinner sometime..."

just ask her out.

 

[azanon]

When I went back into the bar, she made a comment "Your problem is your too nice", at which point I said "No I'm not", then she went on to make some other comments like "You look like your scared".

Anyway the evening finished, and I'm wondering what to make of it, any ideas?. Or how I should react in the future?.

Being called "too nice" by a girl means you had either many opportunities or a long period of time to act, and you continued to fail to act. In this case, both applied.

How should you react? Try, "lets go back to my place and watch a movie", which is universally code for, "lets go back to my place and f***". Non-nice guys like me wouldn't waist time and just throw it out there take-it-or-leave-it.

Quite honestly, its probably already too late for this girl. Clearly, your interest level is too low for her or that's what you've conveyed to her by not aggressively pursuing her sexually from the get-go.

Think animal, think aggressor, and do it with no shame... but have control. You know you're doing it right if you actually spook the overly conservative ones.

 

[kingwilliam]

Hopefully you have not lost your oppurtunity.

Do you have her number, or do you just wait for the appearances at the bar?

You need to step it up to a new level of assertiveness with this woman. First of all, make sure you do not publicly worship this girl.... For example, when you were chatting with the group of friends you probably should have paid more attention to the other girls, not her.

If it were me, next time I saw her I would talk for a minute, have a beer, and then look her right in the eyes and just ask her out. Lead her.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Jeremy Michael,
look what you have gone and done,you've upset Jophil...Just the thought of that Lovely 26 year old waiting like an apple to be plucked had him snorting his nostrils and pawing the ground like an Old War Horse who hears the sound of battle....Me while I don't blame the demise of Britains Once Mighty Empire on you entirely,It does appear that the birth rate of Northern Europeans is below replacement,now I think I know why...

 

[Jeremymichael]

ha ha like the comments Scaramouche!. I need to get my act together I don't know why I'm flailing in the wind!. I guess I'm waiting for clearer signals and the fact that she has lots of male friends. I am also shy.

By the way I have her phone number, but not from my asking. Her car has broken down and she asked for a lift to work, which I agreed to. We had a great converstation in the car.

I went to the bar last night as I knew she was working there, as a part time job. She is professionally an architect, but I couldn't think of an appropriate invite for a date. And something kept saying to me that she should be giving more of a come on, I just didn't feel it there. I read somewhere that women make it easy for a man they are interested in.

She did make some strange comment about can I phone you number and run down my credits on my mobile phone. She phoned it and said you don't need to answer it, strange?.

Anyway I'm going to try for it on Sunday. Unless I just phone her and make a suggestion. I think she'll say no anyway somehow.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Being called "too nice" by a girl means you had either many opportunities or a long period of time to act, and you continued to fail to act.

This is a proverb.

Hesitate and thou art lost.

 

[SharpGame]

ha ha like the comments Scaramouche!. I need to get my act together I don't know why I'm flailing in the wind!

Then shut up and do it!

I guess I'm waiting for clearer signals and the fact that she has lots of male friends. I am also shy.

Why are you waiting for her to make the first move? YOU are the man, not her. You lead.

And something kept saying to me that she should be giving more of a come on, I just didn't feel it there.

Again, you're reacting to her instead of leading her. She should be reacting to you. Be strong and make it happen.

I read somewhere that women make it easy for a man they are interested in.

What the he11 else do you want her to do?!? She's already given you way more signals than you should've needed!

She did make some strange comment about can I phone you number and run down my credits on my mobile phone. She phoned it and said you don't need to answer it, strange?.

I think this was a trick to make sure you have her number on caller ID.

Anyway I'm going to try for it on Sunday. Unless I just phone her and make a suggestion. I think she'll say no anyway somehow.

Ugh. If you keep living out of fear, then you're right, she'll say no. Be a frickin' man and create your own reality. Stop waiting for someone else's approval - hers, ours, or anyone else.

 

[jophil28]

She did make some strange comment about can I phone you number and run down my credits on my mobile phone. She phoned it and said you don't need to answer it, strange?.

Anyway I'm going to try for it on Sunday. Unless I just phone her and make a suggestion. I think she'll say no anyway somehow.

Here are all the buying signals from her that you need.

However, unless you nut up here and tell her that she and you are going out for a drink, you are gonna wind up sucking your food throught a straw in the Shady Rest Retirement Village in 30 years time and regretting this lost opportunity and the hundreds that will come your way every year .