too much calling at beginning of dating can ruin your propspects?

[slaog]

What I do now if the date goes well, I ask the girl for another date before the date ends. That way theres no overthinking about calls etc during the week.

 

[pete101]

Did you read my reply?

Here, I'll help you.


Ex:
You: "Let's meet up later today."
Her: "Cool, I'll let you know later today or I'll let you know in the morning"
You: "No, I'm busy during the day, I've got to *invent some excuse* at *some time*, but I can see you at *your time of choice*."
Her: "Oh I don't think I can make that time."
You: "Ok that's cool, we'll catch up another time."
End Convo.





No you shouldn't demand an answer. And frankly, if you've just met the girl and only went on one date with her, you haven't built enough connection to deserve an answer.

The problem is you expect something out of the phone call. Stop expecting, start enjoying. Take the pressure off yourself, and stop trying to hook up with the girl so hard. What you're doing (again) is being desperate for her attention, this time in the form of a date. You want to basically force her to date you. That will not go out well, and women won't take that.

In my example, if she doesn't wanna plan something right now, and refuses your offer, then you hang up the phone. That way you're NOT being desperate, nor needy, and you don't care about the outcome. That is VERY attractive for a woman, because you don't need her, and you're a busy man.

The best advice, as was already posted, is get a life outside of girls. Don't sit and wait and think about what you'll say to her: it'll only make you nervous and you'll DEFINITELY screw up. Do other things, and when you're pumped, in a confident state of mind, THEN you can call her.

i see.. but if you suggest meeting that night and she tells you she might have prior plans to see her friends but nothing confirmed yet and she'll let you know in 3 hours time. should you take that?

cos i think that is what i did then i realised after i should have got a yes/no there and then. is that too much to ask?

i already made the mistake of phrasing it in a 'so what are you doing tonight?' then saying 'do you want to meet up?' i should have suggested meeting up first then see what she says.

but anyhow if she says 'i dont know yet i'll let you know at 3-4pm..' what should the reply be to that?

it's more than likely it'll be a no unless of course she'll cancel on her friends to see me. this is where i got stuck and ended up trying to cancel on her in advance etc then backtracking.

i felt in my thread the situation was bad cos i was indecisive about it being that night or the next night rather than just sticking to 1 and being firm.

i should not accept her 'i'll let you know at 3-4pm', and respond with?

what i mean is:

You: "No, I'm busy during the day, I've got to *invent some excuse* at *some time*, but I can see you at *your time of choice*."
Her: "i don't know yet, i'll let you know at 3-4pm."
You: ??

fill in the ?? please

 

[true romance]

set up date is not a game of chess..you don't want to corner her with line by line strategies and technics. I agree we need some good conversation to set up the date with high energy, exciting, precise location, date and time..etc

Setting up a date needs 23 posts ?? then imagine dating for 2 months or set up 3rd date (100 posts)?

You really knit picking here. If the girl is busy and she is not sure " I'll let you know..etc) Take it as it is. IF she is interested will will make time and call you back for another date.
In the mean time you need to have a life, do something useful instead of ponder of the phone call.

So take it as it is.. if she doesn't want to see you there no magic line that change her decision.

Move on and learn from it..

 

[drift king]

i'll give you another example.

there's this hot HB from facebook i'm suppose to be seeing but the problem is when i went for the date close she was going away on holiday last weekend so it was drawn out the arrangements of 'i'll arrange it when you're back'

so i did for this week but she says she's busy but offered me initially saturday (kind of) or perhaps next week.. (all good so far cos she's counter offering)

but then when i said ok for saturday but inquired if she's got plans after seeing me (cos her intial response sounded like she was going to see me then go out with her friends after)

then now she tells me: i dont konw what my plans are yet i'll send u a message closer to the time'

i took this to be bad but i knew it anyway cos dating on fri/sat night is not good as she'll indefinitely have other clubbing plans with her friends she'll have to forgo so more likely flakes..

i told her that i was making other arrangements for saturday now and next week would be better unless she could confirm saturday in next few hours.. then went onto suggest monday as i was busy tuesday.

i think i played it fine but the more drawn out it seems to arrange a meet up it seems the interest level diminishes and opens up how available i am/not.

did i do the right thing? cos i felt that if she wanted to meet me solely then she could have given a yes there and then rather than finding out what else she's got on.

even if she gives me a yes now i still reckon she'll flake cos it's a saturday night (i.e. clubbing with the girls night)