Too much arrogance/ ****y

[BongDuy]

So lately ive been noticing I have a tendency to automatically turn into a ****y a$$hole in front of new girls i Meet. Infact, girls I've met have called me that a few dozen times, and i just shrug it off by saying something like " I get that often." or sometimes if i'm really out of line, I'll admit it by saying " Yeah, you're right im being an a$$". I rarely ever apologize because I haven't said anything THAT bad yet.

Somtimes I'll try and be a tease, and i'll come off as a total jerk. In fact, i'll sometimes be introduced into a group of new females, and the minute i say a very light neg (Ex: She must be the loud one) her friends immediately laugh and come to her defense at the same time.

This isnt really a question but its something I've noticed. Anyone have anything to add to this?

 

[f283000]

Don't let anybody tell you that you're doing anything wrong. When you change your attitude from afc to showing some confidence women will notice and react to it negatively at first because you're not coming off totally natural. You are different than what they are used to.

The more you work at showing confidence/****yness and a bit of arrogance the better you'll get at it.

Never listen to the haters that tell you otherwise. Those guys are afraid of getting in touch with their inner masculine self and show it. They want you to be soul less and cold just like them.

Women love ****yness and confidence (which when you first start showing it might come off as arrogance).

UPDATE:

Go watch some ric flair promos from the 80's on youtube to see some natural ****yness/swagger and arrogance that women love. In fact here's some of his classics promos from youtube. Take some notes.

Stick around 20 years promo You know you're good when you got the whole crowd and the women cheering for you for your arrogance when he pulls that joke to the camera out of nowhere.

What's cooking in Atlanta, GA (amazing ****yness and braggin about himself)

You're looking at the man promo (confidence personified)

Ric Flair video montage (****yness and charisma personified)

 

[HolyG]

Yeah I have something to add: You're doing it exactly right.

Stop apologizing...

 

[Julius_Seizeher]

You could be overdoing it.

You're over the first hump, now you have to advance beyond having something to prove.

 

[PapiChulo]

The feminist butch types will try to shut you down as as soon as possible because you are not what they expect from you, in secret their panties are getting wet. Just know when to stop, you dont have to be as*holish every day. The ones that have huge sticks up their as*ses only like the guys that kiss as* to orbit them -its a great way to screen all the insane women.

I think you are on the right track. I ve been called a d!ck without even trying to put on an act or anything, just being normal, playful as usual.

 

[synergy1]

yeah, don't over do it otherwise you'll just look like a tool. I made a post about a kid who was trying to over do it and just looked awful. Vince vaughn of swingers said it best...be that edgy rated R person that people aren't sure about. That doesn't require being a complete dime piece or anything like that.

I was trying to wheel some hot blonde chick who ended up knowing one of my friends. It didn't work out the first night I met her because I was too sauced to do anything (my mistake). Got word through the grape vine I was arrogant, but I was hardly apologetic. Somehow bumped into her again this weekend, this time a bit more cognizant of what I was saying and got her #. Suffice it to say the impression was good enough. My friend said she was really into me too, but I don't really know.

...or she gave me a # to blow me off. we will see.

Anyway, if you are trying to be an *******, you look stupid! so the lesson here is don't!

 

[Ease]

If you sense you have gone too far, instead of toning it down and becoming less ****y, use vulnerability.

Read it somewhere on roissy's blog if u dont know what it is.

 

[Die Hard]

OP, I've been like that for the last half a year or so. I'm finally beginning to get it right, lately! What you're doing is overcompensating your nice guy-ness, I think. You're used to respond nice, too nice... So you wanna change that, be ****y&funny and make neg's, but you're overdoing it. I guess it's just a process of finetuning: first you're too nice, then you're too ****y, eventually you'll get it right and find the sweet spot. Totally speaking from personal experience here, don't know if it applies to you. Anyway, took me at least half a year to get it right, lol.

 

[Iceberg]

You could be overdoing it.

You're over the first hump, now you have to advance beyond having something to prove.

Agreed.

I was "****y" when I first began developing some success with women, and life in general.

I think once you've climbed the mountain, there's more benefit in bringing your friends (or followers) up with you rather than telling everybody how great you are. Once confidence truly becomes a part of your persona, there's no need intentionally display it outwardly. You're going to shine whether you're talking about yourself or not.

 

[Ease]

Agreed.

I was "****y" when I first began developing some success with women, and life in general.

I think once you've climbed the mountain, there's more benefit in bringing your friends (or followers) up with you rather than telling everybody how great you are. Once confidence truly becomes a part of your persona, there's no need intentionally display it outwardly. You're going to shine whether you're talking about yourself or not.

He is talking about arrogance here, not talking about yourself or talking too much.

 

[Iceberg]

He is talking about arrogance here, not talking about yourself or talking too much.

That's what I'm talking about as well. Arrogance pretty much IS talking about yourself too much or putting others down around you. Which is why quiet confidence gets more respect.

Either way, my main point was, if you're confident, bring others (including your date) up to your level instead of showboating or trying too hard to be ****y. I'd rather people walk away from me thinking, "Wow what a great/interesting/charming guy." Instead of "He's really ****y."

 

[Ease]

That's what I'm talking about as well. Arrogance pretty much IS talking about yourself too much or putting others down around you. Which is why quiet confidence gets more respect.

Either way, my main point was, if you're confident, bring others (including your date) up to your level instead of showboating or trying too hard to be ****y. I'd rather people walk away from me thinking, "Wow what a great/interesting/charming guy." Instead of "He's really ****y."

No its not.

Arrogance and ****iness are personality traits. Talking about yourself is an action.

There's nothing wrong with some arrogance, it will put you ahead of the competition fast and stand you out drastically.

 

[Iceberg]

No its not.

Arrogance and ****iness are personality traits. Talking about yourself is an action.

There's nothing wrong with some arrogance, it will put you ahead of the competition fast and stand you out drastically.

How do you express this arrogance that puts you ahead of the competition and helps you to stand out drastically?

 

[HolyG]

You guys are thinking too hard about this....its okay to be ****y. Negging is another word for TEASING. If you tell her she's a dumb *****, that's probably overdoing it

 

[BongDuy]

I can defiently see the overcompensating. It even crossed my mind several times that this was why, and that a balance would be achieved through time and experience.

I also realize that it really depends on the girl. im in college, so most of the girls are really insecure, especially this one virgin girl i was talking to. She was the type of girl who was very well behaved, naughty and flirty, but she wasnt a the type to go out and to the clubs every night. she was the type of girl i would bring home as a gf. unfortunately, i ended up "negging" her a little too much but that wasnt the worst part. I ended up calling her the wrong name infront of her friends, atleast 3 times in 10 minutes. i was really baked.

but then there is this girl i know that go out to the clubs,bars, and get hit on by guys all night. she is one of those valley girls who gets compliments like " You should be a model!" and "you're so beautiful". I negged her and teased her and she loved it. Things are going very well with this girl, despite my overcompensation.

All i know is time and practice will straighten this out. I figured it wouldnt hurt to do some research on humor, so i went out and got "Comedy Writing Secrets" to try and become funnier. I appreciate all the responses


EDIT: Btw, no offense to Ric flare, but i hope I would never ever act like that. I find a better role model for ****y and funny is Hank Moody in Californication. I highly recommend that series

If you sense you have gone too far, instead of toning it down and becoming less ****y, use vulnerability.

Read it somewhere on roissy's blog if u dont know what it is.

Yeah I heard about it, but I do it with something really silly so she can't tell if im serious or not. With one girl, I told her i was" terrified of Asians" ( I'm asian. ) and when she asks why i say something like " they know kung fu ". I once told a girl i was terrified of public speaking, and she immediately agreed and gave me the biggest smile, like some comfort was established