"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Too competitive with other men. Any way to kill this?

S

starfishandcoffee

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Was in my class today...pretty tough language class. Was too focused on internalizing the conjugation to hit on the cute new girl next to me. (We've spoken a few times, so at least there's that.)

One of the guys in my class has caught on more quickly, and he's swooped in. They were working together today (and yesterday), and I overheard him offering her a ride after class. What's he up to? Duh.

I'm torn here. When I'm good at a language, you'd better believe I exploit that and use it as a way to hit on every cute girl in that class that's struggling. The only reason this is bothering me is because he's not only hitting on the girl I've got my eye on, he's doing it by using the same methods I'd have used.

As I get older and better at this, I still can't stand other roosters in the coop with me. It's like I need to be the best guy in the room, or I fume quietly. What can I do to get over this? I know it's not a good tendency to have, especially if I want men as friends.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

SpazzAttackk

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starfishandcoffee said:
Was in my class today...pretty tough language class. Was too focused on internalizing the conjugation to hit on the cute new girl next to me. (We've spoken a few times, so at least there's that.)

One of the guys in my class has caught on more quickly, and he's swooped in. They were working together today (and yesterday), and I overheard him offering her a ride after class. What's he up to? Duh.

I'm torn here. When I'm good at a language, you'd better believe I exploit that and use it as a way to hit on every cute girl in that class that's struggling. The only reason this is bothering me is because he's not only hitting on the girl I've got my eye on, he's doing it by using the same methods I'd have used.

As I get older and better at this, I still can't stand other roosters in the coop with me. It's like I need to be the best guy in the room, or I fume quietly. What can I do to get over this? I know it's not a good tendency to have, especially if I want men as friends.
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Im the same way. I hate when youre going for someone and some ******* decided to come out of nowhere and screw everything up.

But thats life, you have to show her youre better
 
S

starfishandcoffee

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SpazzAttackk said:
Im the same way. I hate when youre going for someone and some ******* decided to come out of nowhere and screw everything up.

But thats life, you have to show her youre better
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well...getting an A is more important than getting my bone smooched.

this is more of a "you magnificent bastard" situation. He uses the same sneaky, behind-the-back methods I would have used.
 
D

Darth

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How is this a problem? Women want warriors- show that you are a better warrior than he is, AKA more of a man.

Back in the day this used to mean calling him out and having a fist fight outside.
 
Z

zinc4

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i don't think you should compete over a woman with one specific guy...this is why women are so freakin entitled acting because they have so many smucks competing over them....

Go after another girl in the class or just focus on other women in the outside world...maybe the original chick will see this and chase you...but if she doesn't then who cares...i just don't think any woman is actually worth competing head on with another guy for...

and by the way, i have the same problem...i feel like i am the best out of any guy no matter where i am and definitely better than any woman...so it is irritating to watch inferior guys successfully moving in on other women i have my eyes on...but that's life...i think the challenge here is just controlling your ego and trying to be more humble...it's very difficult, though
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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S

starfishandcoffee

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zinc4 said:
i don't think you should compete over a woman with one specific guy...this is why women are so freakin entitled acting because they have so many smucks competing over them....

Go after another girl in the class or just focus on other women in the outside world...maybe the original chick will see this and chase you...but if she doesn't then who cares...i just don't think any woman is actually worth competing head on with another guy for...

and by the way, i have the same problem...i feel like i am the best out of any guy no matter where i am and definitely better than any woman...so it is irritating to watch inferior guys successfully moving in on other women i have my eyes on...but that's life...i think the challenge here is just controlling your ego and trying to be more humble...it's very difficult, though
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You got that right about the girl. She's cute, don't get me wrong...but not anything particularly special. I wouldn't wade through a crowd of people to get to her.

I talked to a friend about this. He had a simple way of putting it:

"You don't particularly want her. You just don't want to see this guy with her."

He's right. But why in the hell do I even care? stupid insecurity.
 
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