Tonight was rough, need some tips for socially awkward penguin

[SoSly]

So basically , im 100% new. I have no experience with girls , only gotten makeouts when I've been completely hammered.. have no sober game AT ALL like its bad... im ****ing socially awkward penguin at its finest.

Anyway my night consisted of this.

Get to my first college party , its like at the school in the student union building not old enough to buy drinks , so we pre drink. Its pretty booming but me and my 2 friends literally know no one and I'm not drunk at all... So I get in walk around a bit , say hi to my friend and then im talking with my buddies and I see this one girl , I think 2 seconds and boom I approach for the first time in my entirely life completely sober. I start , great eye contact (I must say I have no issue here)

"Hey , My name is James" doesn't hear me first time , so I say again .

"Hi , Im Kelsey"

then boom shake hands and for the first time ever on my first approach I go with the spin , she is totally caught off gaurd like no one has done this before so she was smiling and pretty happy but then ,

my MAJOR STICKING POINT like 100% is after the opener no mid game at all like even with a random male i can barely keep a conversation going so awkward,

"so... are you here with friends"

"uhmm yeah a few , but i dont go here" ...

"uhm ok" (look away)

me: so how old are you

her 19, how old are you

me : 18 (im 17 still , so i had to lie)

me : wow 19 , you're oldddddd

her : what?? Im old??

me: ok im gonna go thanks

How can I work on this , to like improve even my conversational skills , its really bad . I know practice but like how... I dont want to go parties all the time and just get blown out all the time ... can I practice anywhere else? All pointers are appreciated

 

[crazyboy]

well you wasn't doing bad until left during mid conversation. But being your seventeen i can see how this would be akward. When she said what im old you should been like. Dont worry i like older women they seem to have there **** together. or you dont like cursing say stuff. I mean im pretty sure she knew you just making convo you probably freak out more leaving mid convo then actually statement. i say all that time whether there younger or older.

 

[SoSly]

well you wasn't doing bad until left during mid conversation. But being your seventeen i can see how this would be akward. When she said what im old you should been like. Dont worry i like older women they seem to have there **** together. or you dont like cursing say stuff. I mean im pretty sure she knew you just making convo you probably freak out more leaving mid convo then actually statement. i say all that time whether there younger or older.

but see i dont really think of stuff like that , then after the convo im like oh **** I should have said that! also I literally had no idea what to say thats why I ejected.

 

[jay_mo]

The best way to get better is to repeat, repeat, repeat.

1. Continue talking to strangers. Not just cute girls. All strangers - guys, girls, hotties, uglies, fatties, thinnies, oldies, youngies. Just keep on opening people. Why? Because the ones you don't care about don't make you nervous, once you get better, when you meet a hot girl you have a routine that will work for you even when you are nervous.

2. Continue opening girls and sooner or later you will start getting numbers.

3. Be casual, don't worry about what the girls think about you. Just try to entertain yourself by talking to them, and their friends. Have a normal conversation - don't pressure yourself and think about what you think about them, not what they think about you.

4. Ask for numbers. In the beginning it may feel awkward. But don't worry to make a fool of yourself. It doesn't matter if it's obvious that you have intentions. In fact if she gives you the number, that is even better! Keep asking for numbers and you will get better at it, and eventually you will always get the numbers you ask for.

5. Details about what to talk about is not so important as the above points, so I want to point out to not waste too much energy worrying about what you are saying.
(like you did above "oh **** I should have said that!")
But a few advice:
* Introducing yourself is something that can wait for later - start talking about some random subject that has nothing to do with either of you. If she asks about your name that is a good sign.
* Age is not the something that you need to ask a woman about.
* When you come to her and talk about *random subject*, give her something to make an input on. Then listen to her. Use the things she says to make the conversation continue. Ask folllow up questions. Let her talk.
* If she doesn't talk, continue trying to make her talk for a while, try talking about other subjects. If she's still not talking, maybe she is either boring, not interested or not interestING. Stop wasting your time and go on to the next one.

6. Finally, Don't run away in panic, stay and finish the conversation! Eventually you will get a feeling on when it is time to finish it off. But better stay too long than to leave too soon...

 

[crazyboy]

Well guys here say use ****y and funny. Which is fine to use when your are naturally witty person. But you might what to learn how to get the woman to do most of the talking so you can be the one just sitting nodding your head. So learn some jokes, women mainly like humor because its makes the mood less serious and more playful. Sometimes it pay to know what women are interested in or to be social know of things. or just look at shirt or at the wall or talk about party. I mean anything just keep convo going.
Be relax, smile while your talking to her, and let it flow.

 

[SoSly]

Well guys here say use ****y and funny. Which is fine to use when your are naturally witty person. But you might what to learn how to get the woman to do most of the talking so you can be the one just sitting nodding your head. So learn some jokes, women mainly like humor because its makes the mood less serious and more playful. Sometimes it pay to know what women are interested in or to be social know of things. or just look at shirt or at the wall or talk about party. I mean anything just keep convo going.
Be relax, smile while your talking to her, and let it flow.

Well I am actually ****y and funny and I do it with girls I know for awhile and comfortable with but its really hard to do when I'm just meeting a girl , like I go into total afc interview mode...

 

[JPlaya]

Im in the same boat with op but i think im getting better