Told my girl about my family. She ghosted...

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
So I guess I did something stupid, though, she'd probably find out about it anyway. We were getting good, at least I thought. We were even planning on our first long week plus vacation in November. It was a cruise of some sort. She never Google'd me, but if she did, she'd find out about my siblings in prison. So, I thought it would be best to tell her. It wasn't anything violent that they did, only financial. I am not close with my family, so it didn't involve me. She came over the next day, and told me she Google me and my family. I said any questions? She said no. We still had sex a few times, but something was different. She wouldn't do oral and she seemed not interested or distant. Regardless, I just shrugged it off and continued on. She brought over DVDs for ER, which we both enjoy watching from time to time. We cooked dinner, went to sleep. Hadn't heard from her in a few days so I called, she didn't answer. She texted back, she's with a friend. I said I see. Then she said she didn't want to see me anymore. She likes me and enjoys my company, but I am looking for my one true love, my best friend (or something like that). I was in shock, but I just said okay, take care. The next day, it hit me so I texted her, I miss you. I do not know why I said this, I feel like a moron. She then immediately replied back that she missed me. She then changed her mind and just wanted a break. However, it didn't feel right to me, so I said that's not cool with me, so take care.

I am still shellshocked. I have no idea what happened. This is the same girl who introduced me to her parents on the second date. She's very close with her family. I cannot believe a girl would change her mind just because my siblings went to prison. It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

Visionist

Don Juan
Joined
Mar 27, 2016
Messages
183
Reaction score
97
Age
31
It could have been an ex of hers who came back into her life; don't assume it was definitely your family history.

This is why it's important to stay aloof, but it's hard when you like a girl for more than her looks. Still gotta be aloof. Frankly her eagerness to play BF/GF at first is a red flag to me. The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long, and all that...

I ain't gonna blame you for texting her "I miss you" as we all know the rules are there to be broken, but we also know they're rules for a reason.

At worst, you dodged a nuke. She seemed unreliable overall, and witholding oral? Hard next. No way did you wanna go cruising or wherever with this one. She starts out like that and it gets worse.

Don't be surprised if she texts you down the line.
 

AttackFormation

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 2, 2014
Messages
2,631
Reaction score
1,979
Age
26
Location
Sweden
Hadn't heard from her in a few days so I called, she didn't answer. She texted back, she's with a friend.
Seems like there's another guy ("friend") she wants to take out for a ride.

Then she said she didn't want to see me anymore.
Bingo.

She likes me and enjoys my company, but I am looking for my one true love, my best friend (or something like that).
At this moment the other guy gets her emotions going more than you do.

I have no idea what happened.
She met another guy.

This is the same girl who introduced me to her parents on the second date. She's very close with her family. I cannot believe a girl would change her mind just because my siblings went to prison. It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand. I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
She sounds mentally volatile and impulsive. I think you avoided a curse in disguise and this would've happened sooner or later, but if it happened later when you invested more it would've been more devastating to you.

I don't think it has anything to do with your siblings at all, or if it did, that her interest in you was fleeting at best anyway. That's just a red herring.
 
Last edited:

Snake-eyes

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 9, 2019
Messages
61
Reaction score
50
Age
27
Women have the right to change their mind at any giving moment. Find other options and stop pining over her
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
2,516
Reaction score
3,177
Age
50
Advice from the old lady:

You’ll pretzel your brain trying to figure out the “Why”. God knows why & she knows why but it matters not because the result is the same.

Drive on.

Find a gal who is accepting of you as you are. This one wasn’t and that’s all you need to know.

Kudos for sharing. That took courage. Many men don’t do the honorable thing (from a character standpoint) but you did. You’ve saved time so see it as the blessing it is.
 

Trump

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 12, 2011
Messages
2,942
Reaction score
1,585
I am still shellshocked. I have no idea what happened. This is the same girl who introduced me to her parents on the second date.
Come on bro. Any girl who introduces you to her parents on Date #2, something is off. I don’t even think Prince Harry can get in by Date #2

You should know this by now, you are almost 40 years old.


She's very close with her family. I cannot believe a girl would change her mind just because my siblings went to prison. It has nothing to do with me. I do not understand.
Who says that is why she changed her mind?

If you were a CEO and paid her $5,000 to be your secretary plus vacations and perks and clothes and cars, you’d think she would care your brother went to prison?

These girls aren’t 18, they don’t fall in love anymore. The only thing they care about is your usefulness. Don’t rationalize, just be better.


I am so confused how a girl can introduce me to her whole family, say I was the one she was looking for, plan things and vacations and then just in a bat of an eye ghost like it was nothing.
Bro that’s normal behaviour for any girl over 25.

I walk out my door and everyone tries to lie, cheat, steal, take, and act like I owe them something, the white collar way. Do you guys have cushy cushy jobs with no stress?

I swear you guys have no life experience.
 

backseatjuan

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
3,890
Reaction score
1,069
Age
38
Location
Россия
You went beta she ghosted, cuz she knows she can do better than you. They don’t ghost unless they have other stuff going for them, so it’s natural to assume your 60 to 70% interest level girl already had a guy in her life.

Stop being a beta from this point on, or you won’t have a hope for healthy IL from a woman, above 70%. They’ll never love you.
 

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
You went beta she ghosted, cuz she knows she can do better than you. They don’t ghost unless they have other stuff going for them, so it’s natural to assume your 60 to 70% interest level girl already had a guy in her life.

Stop being a beta from this point on, or you won’t have a hope for healthy IL from a woman, above 70%. They’ll never love you.
Wasn't beta dude, but believe what you like. US is free, not sure about Soviet Russia.
 

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
Come on bro. Any girl who introduces you to her parents on Date #2, something is off. I don’t even think Prince Harry can get in by Date #2

You should know this by now, you are almost 40 years old.



Who says that is why she changed her mind?

If you were a CEO and paid her $5,000 to be your secretary plus vacations and perks and clothes and cars, you’d think she would care your brother went to prison?

These girls aren’t 18, they don’t fall in love anymore. The only thing they care about is your usefulness. Don’t rationalize, just be better.



Bro that’s normal behaviour for any girl over 25.

I walk out my door and everyone tries to lie, cheat, steal, take, and act like I owe them something, the white collar way. Do you guys have cushy cushy jobs with no stress?

I swear you guys have no life experience.
Agree on most. Not sure about the no life experience part. I thought that was a bit strange too. It's not the first time I've met the parents, but it was the first time on date # 2.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
It could have been an ex of hers who came back into her life; don't assume it was definitely your family history.

This is why it's important to stay aloof, but it's hard when you like a girl for more than her looks. Still gotta be aloof. Frankly her eagerness to play BF/GF at first is a red flag to me. The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long, and all that...

I ain't gonna blame you for texting her "I miss you" as we all know the rules are there to be broken, but we also know they're rules for a reason.

At worst, you dodged a nuke. She seemed unreliable overall, and witholding oral? Hard next. No way did you wanna go cruising or wherever with this one. She starts out like that and it gets worse.

Don't be surprised if she texts you down the line.
Who knows. Door is closed. I was just sharing my experience. Still in shock mode, but I'll get over it.
 

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
Seems like there's another guy ("friend") she wants to take out for a ride.



Bingo.



At this moment the other guy gets her emotions going more than you do.



She met another guy.



She sounds mentally volatile and impulsive. I think you avoided a curse in disguise and this would've happened sooner or later, but if it happened later when you invested more it would've been more devastating to you.

I don't think it has anything to do with your siblings at all, or if it did, that her interest in you was fleeting at best anyway. That's just a red herring.
A lot of this makes some sense. Thank you for sharing. It's okay and I guess par for the course. Apparently, she blocked me on insta over the weekend. Now she's apparently unblocked me. Moving on, but just strange whirlwind.
 

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
Advice from the old lady:

You’ll pretzel your brain trying to figure out the “Why”. God knows why & she knows why but it matters not because the result is the same.

Drive on.

Find a gal who is accepting of you as you are. This one wasn’t and that’s all you need to know.

Kudos for sharing. That took courage. Many men don’t do the honorable thing (from a character standpoint) but you did. You’ve saved time so see it as the blessing it is.
Just unloading. I appreciate your feedback.
 

Epic Days

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
1,430
Reaction score
1,249
Age
35
This is an incredibly easy scenario. Very common. She wanted to ride a new cok for a while. No matter, she knows you will take her back. Zero risk.

The idea about your family is made up. Either by you in your head or hints from her.

You’re a sap. Oh, did I say that out loud?

You needed to hear that. She’s sucking a new cok. Give her a break...for the rest of her life.

AND she will do it again. And again.
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

SpeedDemon

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 29, 2019
Messages
53
Reaction score
27
Age
39
This is an incredibly easy scenario. Very common. She wanted to ride a new cok for a while. No matter, she knows you will take her back. Zero risk.

The idea about your family is made up. Either by you in your head or hints from her.

You’re a sap. Oh, did I say that out loud?

You needed to hear that. She’s sucking a new cok. Give her a break...for the rest of her life.

AND she will do it again. And again.
I did and I'm moving on, but I'm not a sap. She wanted out, no prob. It stings a bit, that is all. It'll be out of my system soon enough. Just need to go through the motions. Not as hard core as some as you. I am sure I'll harden in time.
 

Epic Days

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 7, 2019
Messages
1,430
Reaction score
1,249
Age
35
I did and I'm moving on, but I'm not a sap. She wanted out, no prob. It stings a bit, that is all. It'll be out of my system soon enough. Just need to go through the motions. Not as hard core as some as you. I am sure I'll harden in time.
No offense intended. Sometimes a man just needs to hear a flat out truth. I didn’t sugar coat anything.
We’ve all been a “sap” at least once.

There was a time that I needed a flat out truth.
 

Poonani Maker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
3,662
Reaction score
469
I had the same thing almost 2 months ago, our chemistry was otherworldly, the sex, very long-reaching, into infinite sacred oneness, but I started sharing pics of the largest side of my family, and one cousin who's Very powerful, very high status and she said, "you know I like that..." but all this "sharing" of info about my family was a mistake I see now and she grew distant. Next time we didn't even fvck. I'm like uh, that's unacceptable so I never contact her again even though it seemed like we are Made for each other. If she turns, she turns. There's nothing you can do, or SHOULD do. Go find and be with others.
 

oldmanofthesea

Master Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2018
Messages
659
Reaction score
932
Age
43
The parent thing is a big red flag that indicates serious compulsion issues. I've dated a couple girls like that. They come on hot, heavy, and fast, and they dump you the same way. You start out as the answer to all their problems, their savior, their key to happiness. But when reality sets in, and they realize you can't fix the void in their soul, they are off looking for the next guy they can project their fantasy onto - you are no longer of interest.

Also remember that women and men think differently. To her, this likely made perfect sense and felt like the right thing to do. I admit that it can be really frustrating to accept just how different people can think about certain things. I still struggle with it at times.
 
Top