Told her I love her, now what?

[decentguy]

Update:
Things have been going well between us and she says "I love you" before I say it now. This week-end, her ex (who messed her up and was a huge player) tried to contact her again by sending her a text message while we were in my car. She told me about it and its contents as soon as she received it, and she looked upset and distraught.

We were both quiet and I was driving. She could sense I was upset and asked me if I wanted her to get out of my car. I told her no and continued driving. I then told her that I needed a break to think things through, and was about to let her off at a street corner, and she was trying extremely hard not to cry and absolutely wanted us to talk things through. I could see her eyes water up and I could sense the effort she was making at not crying.

She kept reassuring me that I'm the one she loves and that she feels guilty for bringing this problem into the relationship. She's anxious because he's trying yet again to contact her and she thought he would leave her alone the first time she didn't answer him. She assured me that she would get this handled by calling the phone company to block his number and that she doesn't want this to ever be a problem in our relationship again. Later that evening, she was walking on eggshells and kept asking me if everything was okay. She was trying to show me just how important I am in her life and told me that she's never been happier with someone than with me and that she hopes I can trust her. I told her that I will do my best to trust her.

Later that night in bed she asked once again if I was sure nothing else was on my mind and if I felt completely satisfied that we talked about it because she didn't want either of us to keep things inside and let them fester. She then said that she doesn't want our first reflex to be to walk away from our relationship when there's a problem (referring to me showing that I was willing to dump her on the spot) and that we should talk things out and work things through when our relationship is challenged. She also reminded me that she didn't do anything wrong, as she hasn't replied to both of his attempts to get in touch with her. She once again mentioned that she doesn't want this to ever come between us and that she will get it handled. She was very affectionate with me and I could sense she was afraid of losing me.

We had wild make up sex that night and all day long the next day. It was a marathon. She repeatedly told me she loves me. And she's still texting me without me initiating contact with her.

Do you thinks she is being sincere? Should I be worried?

The way I see it: if she really wanted to cheat on me or talk with her ex, she would not even have brought up his text messages in the first place. She would have simply done it behind my back.

 

[Falcon25]

Hahahahahaha Omg, this is funny. You're being taken to the cleaners.
I'll tell you a story that may change how you deal with women.

1) There are three times you say I love you to a woman. First, when you are proposing to her. Second, when she has your child. Third, when she or you are about to die and or are ill/ had an accident. Those words are something she should crave and yearn for. That is why the divorce rate is so high, because Americans have basterdized the words I love you. It should not be said after every phone exchange.

2) When a woman is "over" an ex, by some divine miracle, the phone calls from her ex stop. There is no calls or texts. In fact, she may even threaten the ex with civil, or criminal action. In this case, you are the comfort, he is the attraction. He texts, because he knows it's just a matter of time before you are gone.

3) Like most men, you confuse sex, with love. A woman can fuvk you for hours, days, weeks. It still doesn't mean she loves you. It's just sex to her. She has lost a lot of attraction to you. This relationship is over. It's just a matter of time now. Right now, the roles have reversed, she is the man (teasing, wanting sex, ex' calling) and you are the woman (talking about feelings, wondering what's wrong, going on silent mode, throwing fits, posting her problems on an internet message board). See what those three magical words did??
NEVER VERBALIZE HOW YOU FEEL.

 

[Falcon25]

Update:

The way I see it: if she really wanted to cheat on me or talk with her ex, she would not even have brought up his text messages in the first place. She would have simply done it behind my back.

I think you missed the whole point here. The reason why she is letting you know is because she is showing you that she is losing interest for you. She can't help it. When a woman is into you and is afraid of losing you, not only will you not see those texts, but she will go out of her way so that it will never happen again. She would know that you are gone if you see that. She would be deathly afraid of losing you. THAT IS LOVE from a woman.
She is cheating on you. She is fuvking him, and has continued fuvking him. Physically or mentally. The only way he is gone was for you to be a challenge to her. You gave her yourself like a virgin on prom night when you said the three magical words. The most FATAL mistake a man can have with a woman. You could have cheated on her and it wouldn't have been worse.

Wanna know why she said 'really???" when you said the three fatal words? Because she thought to herself "I can't believe I got this guy in three months. How pathetic. Omg, I wish my exboyfriend would say this to me. He hasn't said this in two years! Now I know why I want him sooooooooooo much."

Better luck next time champ.

 

[Iceberg]

Update:
Do you thinks she is being sincere? Should I be worried?

The way I see it: if she really wanted to cheat on me or talk with her ex, she would not even have brought up his text messages in the first place. She
would have simply done it behind my back.

Eh. Honestly, I think you kind of deserve each other. You seem to be weak. And she seems to be a drama queen.

Things have been going well between us and she says "I love you" before I say it now. This week-end, her ex (who messed her up and was a huge player) tried to contact her again by sending her a text message while we were in my car. She told me about it and its contents as soon as she received it, and she looked upset and distraught.

We were both quiet and I was driving. She could sense I was upset and asked me if I wanted her to get out of my car. I told her no and continued driving. I then told her that I needed a break to think things through, and was about to let her off at a street corner, and she was trying extremely hard not to cry and absolutely wanted us to talk things through. I could see her eyes water up and I could sense the effort she was making at not crying.

She asked you if you wanted her to get out of your car? What is this? A high school drama? As if you seriously were just going to drop her off in the middle of a road somewhere.

And here's the funny thing. If you were totally okay with this relationship, you wouldn't be on here talking about this stuff. You didn't ask us "Should I tell her I love her?" You mentioned it after the fact. If you were so sure of your "love", and your status is this 3-month "loving" relationship, you wouldn't need to ask strangers about it. When I told my last girlfriend I loved her, I damn sure didn't have to ask others about it. We were dating for damn near a year, we got along great, and maybe had 2 arguments in 2 years of dating.

I'm saying this to help you, and not to be a d**k. But everything about you bothers me.

You "love" this girl so much that you have to announce it to her, but you're not even sure of where you stand in this thing. So how the f**k can you "love" her and you're still in the newborn stages of a relationship? You're dealing with an ex boyfriend, stupid arguments, and self doubt...and you're 3 months into this. And still, your desperate, lovesick azz still feels strong enough to profess your "love" for her.

Here's reality. You barely f**king KNOW her. Your love is fake. It's the byproduct of loneliness and you wanted to sink your claws into the next cute woman that showed you attention.

I'm not going as far as to say she's cheating. But the only reason the ex feels comfortable texting/calling her is because he knows that she'll reciprocate. And I bet that once she believes that he's "changed" and that he "misses" her, she just MIGHT consider going back to the adventurous, hard-to-get guy who dumped her instead of staying with a Romeo like you who announces his love after 3 months.

F**kin high school crap, man. Get your head out of the clouds.

Three months into a relationship and you're so excited because she told you how much you mean to her, and gave subtle hints about marriage. You know how pathetic it'd be for a NORMAL ADULT WOMAN to discuss these things after dating for approximately 10-12 weeks?

GODDAMN you piss me off. I'm sorry. But it's true. You've pissed me off. It's not like you're some 15 year old. You're a grown man. How does anything in this relationship of yours sound normal and healthy? I don't care about your lack of past experience. Just LOGICALLY it all sounds f**ked up.

 

[backbreaker]

Hahahahahaha Omg, this is funny. You're being taken to the cleaners.
I'll tell you a story that may change how you deal with women.

1) There are three times you say I love you to a woman. First, when you are proposing to her. Second, when she has your child. Third, when she or you are about to die and or are ill/ had an accident. Those words are something she should crave and yearn for. That is why the divorce rate is so high, because Americans have basterdized the words I love you. It should not be said after every phone exchange.

2) When a woman is "over" an ex, by some divine miracle, the phone calls from her ex stop. There is no calls or texts. In fact, she may even threaten the ex with civil, or criminal action. In this case, you are the comfort, he is the attraction. He texts, because he knows it's just a matter of time before you are gone.

3) Like most men, you confuse sex, with love. A woman can fuvk you for hours, days, weeks. It still doesn't mean she loves you. It's just sex to her. She has lost a lot of attraction to you. This relationship is over. It's just a matter of time now. Right now, the roles have reversed, she is the man (teasing, wanting sex, ex' calling) and you are the woman (talking about feelings, wondering what's wrong, going on silent mode, throwing fits, posting her problems on an internet message board). See what those three magical words did??
NEVER VERBALIZE HOW YOU FEEL.

dude if i could fvcking high five you from here i would.


everyone needs to read this post 10 times.


I also agree, it's over./ might not be tomorrow, but it's over.

you dont' know what the hell love is. neither does she. you have not spent enough plates to know what the difference between high on ***** and love


Love is not something you say when you get off the phone or walk someone to a car. love is devoting the rest of your life to a person.

i am freaking engaged, i've said i love you to my fiancee, in 3 years, 3 times. lol, when she had my child, when i proposed, and when she thought i was cheating on her and i wasn't and i wanted to reaffirm that she's my baby. make it mean something. and i love the girl with all my heart, seriously. The funny thing is, she knows I do, and I don't have to say it. It's in my actions.


stop watching music videos and TV, get out there sand spin plates.

 

[nismo-4]

Falcon25 had me dying laughing with his posts! But those are the facts and you can't argue with that!

Judge nismo needs to know why would you tell a girl you love her anyway? A guy is supposed to say I love you too (Key word) and you need to remember that verbalizing your feelings to a girl tells the girl that she has you. Don't hand over your balls.

Case closed.

 

[Iceberg]

i am freaking engaged, i've said i love you to my fiancee, in 3 years, 3 times. lol, when she had my child, when i proposed, and when she thought i was cheating on her and i wasn't and i wanted to reaffirm that she's my baby. make it mean something. and i love the girl with all my heart, seriously. The funny thing is, she knows I do, and I don't have to say it. It's in my actions.


stop watching music videos and TV, get out there sand spin plates.

For real. I feel like Allen Iverson here..."Talkin' bout love?"

He's been dating a girl for 3 months and he's talking about love? He barely knows this girl. This is one sad case.

 

[DonJuan_DeRosco]

Falcon25 for the win!

Oh and decentguy, women are the worlds greatest actors.


Keep us updated.

 

[women haze]

Wow who knew the L - Word is what is killing relationships in this modern day and age. That is an oxymoron if i ever seen one.

 

[backbreaker]

For real. I feel like Allen Iverson here..."Talkin' bout love?"

He's been dating a girl for 3 months and he's talking about love? He barely knows this girl. This is one sad case.

to add, funny how effective a good i love you is when you don't use it every day of the week. my girl followed me arond thought I was cheating on her, after a few hours of arguments, i sat her down looked her in the eye and told her look babe.. i love you. I am devoted to you and I don't want anyone else. that's all it took. when you say it everyday it like everything else in life, cheapens it. especialy when you don't mean it.

 

[backbreaker]

Wow who knew the L - Word is what is killing relationships in this modern day and age. That is an oxymoron if i ever seen one.

shut the **** up and read the dj bible.

it's not love that is killing relationships but guys running into marriages under the presumption of love, when in reality they are just ***** whipped, is what i wrong with marriages today.

guys, treat love as the next step in every relationship like, okay dating, sex, now i have to say i love you, that' snot ****ing love.

 

[zekko]

There are three times you say I love you to a woman. First, when you are proposing to her. Second, when she has your child. Third, when she or you are about to die and or are ill/ had an accident.

Honestly, I think this is pickup forum BS at its worst. Every day is a gift and you should let the ones you love around you know.

Anyway, presumably the girl is going to be telling you she loves you fairly regularly. As a guy, what are you supposed to do, use the Han Solo "I know" line every single time? This is just stupid. There's no harm in returning an "I love you" to a girl. Some guys do it even if they don't mean it. I swear this place is so paranoid about women sometimes.

That said, I agree the OP obviously jumped the gun here, and the girl should say it first.

 

[Falcon25]

Honestly, I think this is pickup forum BS at its worst. Every day is a gift and you should let the ones you love around you know.

Anyway, presumably the girl is going to be telling you she loves you fairly regularly. As a guy, what are you supposed to do, use the Han Solo "I know" line every single time? This is just stupid. There's no harm in returning an "I love you" to a girl. Some guys do it even if they don't mean it. I swear this place is so paranoid about women sometimes.

That said, I agree the OP obviously jumped the gun here, and the girl should say it first.

I think you missed the point completely, or you don't know how to read. I said "You should only say I love you in three instances." That means bringing up the subject and saying those words YOURSELF FIRST. Maybe you should re read what I wrote. You have a lot to learn about the Ace card. Even if she says it first, you should keep it scarce and minimum and say like "me too, or I'm working on it." YOU HAVE TO KEEP IT VERY SCARCE. IT'S YOUR ONLY ACE CARD (the other one is the ability to get other women). NEVER FIRST. The OP INITIATED THE "I LOVE YOU". THAT IS FATAL.

Read the OP's thread again, does it not sound like a woman writing? She has reversed the roles on him, and he is clueless.

 

[backbreaker]

or how about.. dont' say the **** until you actually mean it? lol, novel concept I now.

Girl told me she loved me, BEFORE we were even exclusive. it took me almost 2 years to say it to her. I dont' think she was lying, I think she really was in love. I wasn't however. yet at least. you are not obligated to say i love you once she says it.


damn people.

 

[Falcon25]

IF YOU VERBALIZE YOUR FEELINGS, you will always lose. Even if you are married thirty years, she should still wonder what you are thinking. REMEMBER THAT.

 

[nismo-4]

IF YOU VERBALIZE YOUR FEELINGS, you will always lose. Even if you are married thirty years, she should still wonder what you are thinking. REMEMBER THAT.

Post 1414!!!

Falcon, you need to write a book on this stuff! Seriously, you write the cold hard facts from a realist point of view!

The girl needs to say I love you. Even then, don't let the girl know that she has the power over you, whether it be love or pu$$y. No wonder why women are overpriced these days.

 

[Bluntmaster]

I've already said it to my girl, and she has said it to me. And everything is great, we've been together 2 months. I said it first, even though I was drunk.

So I am proof that the theories to never say it are retarded. If she is into you, you can say whatever the hell you want.

 

[nightcrawler]

OP you're another classic example of a person that takes things wayyyyy to personally.

so you said you loved her...big deal...everyone falls in love within a month. And she said it back so what gives?

Also girls have no hobbies man...unless shopping, starbucks, make up count as hobbies. With that said, what else do they have to talk about aside their past lovers? politics? sports? video games? women's lives revolve around their men, how can you not expect her to bring up past lovers? get real man.

Also realize that girls like to play games...sometimes they will do **** just to see how jealous you get etc. Just play the game back

 

[f283000]

OP you're another classic example of a person that takes things wayyyyy to personally.

so you said you loved her...big deal...everyone falls in love within a month. And she said it back so what gives?

also girls have no hobbies...all they can talk about it their exes, make up, and house decoration. You have to realize that your girlfriend is ALSO your best friend.

Hi Sarah how are you?

Seriously are you another female poster in disguise? Since when is a girlfriend automatically supposed to be our best friend?

Maybe he takes this seriously because maybe he has read what has happened to countless other guys that have spouted that dirty L word to a woman too soon and how it kills attraction.

Maybe you should do some reading too and understand why he comes here for advice on this situation.

 

[nightcrawler]

Hi Sarah how are you?

Seriously are you another female poster in disguise? Since when is a girlfriend automatically supposed to be our best friend?

Maybe he takes this seriously because maybe he has read what has happened to countless other guys that have spouted that dirty L word to a woman too soon and how it kills attraction.

Maybe you should do some reading too and understand why he comes here for advice on this situation.

So what you're saying is that the girl you marry, the one you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with, and the one that bears your children isn't going to be your best friend? what the **** kind of world do you live in?


everybody takes things wayyy too persoanlly around here. Look at all the people telling him it's over...big deal...if anything she probably thinks it's "cute" that OP is jealous etc....as long as OP gets over it and acts as though nothing happened everything is cool...I do have to warn you OP if you keep this up she will lose attraction..you will go from cute to needy

and what countless other guys? as far as I'm concerned people reading on how to pick up women are a minority...I'd say 10% of the population.