Token rejected?

[Devintems]

I'll start by saying this particular ship had sailed as far as I'm concerned. But it got me thinking about more general strategies for when this will come up again.

Friend zoned. I always thought I knew it when I saw it. But in practice, any time I hear the word "friend" I immediately assume that it's best to walk away.

I'm early in my game journey, so I don't know how to tell the difference between token rejection or actual rejection. How would you react to early friend-zoning? Would you take it as rejection or a challenge?

I had been texting a girl for only a few days. Here was the tail end of the exchange.

Her: I won't. I've come to the conclusion that people are not ment to stay in our lives forever. I will never allow myself to get so attached again.

Me: Me neither. I certainly respect the needs of others. But I will never put the needs of someone else above my own (except my kids of course).

Her: Yup

Me:What do you think you need most right now?

Her: A friend. No expectations.

[at this point, debated even responding. A few hours later, I phoned in some half assed response.]

Me: No problem. I'm open to all possibilities, of course. But I don't believe in expectations either.

Her: Good

Short, terse replies from her. I figured, screw it, and moved on. I didn't think until afterwards that it might have been a token rejection. What do you guys think?

 

[guru1000]

What's all this chit-chat nonsense? What a waste of time. Be direct. Be bold. Proceed with:

"Let's meet at XYZ lounge <day> @ 8pm."

She either agrees or she can hit the road.

 

[Devintems]

We had a tentative date set for today actually. This was the "chit-chat that followed. It was this exchange that prompted me not to bother following up on specific plans.

 

[guru1000]

Were you looking for a friend or to fvck. If the latter, no need to text after you set plans. If she initiates after you set the date, you proceed with:

"I'm real busy at the office right now, but I def look forward to seeing you later @ 8pm."

KISS. If you want to fvck, text her "See you at 8." If not, then don't.

 

[Die Hard]

I think she meant friends with benefits, although she didn't say that specifically. She didn't set up a date with you to be purely friends in the strict sense of that word, did she? I'm sure there's been flirting and other stuff between the two of you which pointed to more than strictly friendship.

 

[Devintems]

That's a good point. I assumed she had lost interest because I had poor game at some point. But I couldn't be sure what exactly I had done.

 

[Yewki]

Too much texting. Too much effort. The parts in red should not have happened. The parts in bold should have.

Her: I won't. I've come to the conclusion that people are not ment to stay in our lives forever. I will never allow myself to get so attached again.

Me: Me neither. I certainly respect the needs of others. But I will never put the needs of someone else above my own (except my kids of course).
Her: Yup

[A few days later]
Me: Lets grab some drinks tomorrow Xpm at Y place

Me:What do you think you need most right now?

Her: A friend. No expectations.

[at this point, debated even responding. A few hours later, I phoned in some half assed response.]

Me: No problem. I'm open to all possibilities, of course. But I don't believe in expectations either.

Her: Good