"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Today I stopped being an orbiter

Jifto

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I posted before about a plate I was pursuing. I detailed how she had a bunch of dude orbiters and how I thought she wanted to maintain that status quo. Today I had a "come to jesus" moment where I realized that, wtf, I was one of those guys. I was giving this girl lots of attention (answering texts whenever she hit me up, constantly flirting with her, etc) because she was laying the game on thick for me. Looking back, I still think that she was giving me crazy amounts of IOI's, but I observed her today and she was doing the same for the other guys in this posse.

So, I've officially (in my mind anyway) cancelled her contract. She can continue to have orbiters, but I won't be one of them for another day.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Red Legg

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IMO.... very attractive women have orbiters,I have been seeing a very pretty blonde woman since December.She showed very high interest in me from the beginning driving 2 hours to see me every other weekend,spending money on me ect,ect....she pushed for exclusivity,and I agreed.I noticed her phone going off when we were together,so I got her drunk and snooped in her phone she was flirting with 5 orbiters,also lots of orbiter activity on facebook.I brought it to her attention and she blew me off saying that they were all just "friends" so at this point she was flaunting her orbiters.I withdrew attention and demoted her to plate...she chased me and has been trying to get back into my good graces ever since.The sex is white hot so I did not drop her entirely.If you haven't slept with this girl yet you are not an orbiter yet in my book though, she just wants attention from you.
 

Serenity

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Women like that are such an annoyance until you learn to recognize it for what it is. Consciously or not, some women constantly act as if they're interested but won't go beyond a certain threshold. It's not friendship behavior that's confused, it's clearly behavior that a woman would haven't if they were interested in more than that.

This is why IOI's will never be a reliable way to tell. The only way to be sure is if she goes on the date, later ends up in your bed and comes back for more.
If you haven't slept with this girl yet you are not an orbiter yet in my book though, she just wants attention from you.
What the actual fvck kind of advice is that? The definition of an orbiter is a needy friend hoping to get some by giving attention. Either you don't know what an orbiter is or you got it the wrong way around. If he fvcks her he's not an orbiter, if he gives her attention in the hopes of fvcking her but is unsuccessful then he's an orbiter, until he stops giving attention of course.
 

Red Legg

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If he fvcks her he's not an orbiter,
You have it wrong ....If a woman is fvcking 4 guys at the same time,and you are one of them you are by definition are an "orbiter...." or in her rotation...but I think if you are NOT her main fvck then you can be classified an "orbiter." To me men who are not getting any from a woman don't even have a definition yet...they are just talking.This is my personal definition not the urban dictionaries...lol
 

Serenity

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@Red Legg oh, so we just make up definitions instead of going by how most people understand it? What an effective way of communicating.

I strongly disagree with you. You're not orbiting around her if you're putting your d!ck inside her. Men who give attention to a woman in the hopes of getting sex without getting it are by everyone's definition an orbiter. It's a metaphor for being in orbit going around and around never getting close enough, as in never getting inside her.

The closest term to fvcking a woman who also fvcks many other guys is "cuckold". It's your definition that lacks a term, it's you who have it wrong.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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zekko

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Looking back, I still think that she was giving me crazy amounts of IOI's, but I observed her today and she was doing the same for the other guys in this posse.
I've always said that you could tell an attention ho by observing how she treats other men. Although the fact that she had a lot of orbiters should have also clued you in.

she pushed for exclusivity,and I agreed.I noticed her phone going off when we were together,so I got her drunk and snooped in her phone she was flirting with 5 orbiters,also lots of orbiter activity on facebook.I brought it to her attention and she blew me off saying that they were all just "friends" so at this point she was flaunting her orbiters
Kudos to you for not accepting that definition of "exclusivity".
As for what an orbiter is, I think they may or may not be having sex with the girl. Although generally speaking, the girl will keep the sex to a minimum, only doling out enough to keep the guy in orbit.

A girl may not be having sex with the orbiter guy, but flirts with him enough to keep his hopes up that eventually his turn will come.
Or the guy may keep himself in orbit entirely on his own, just because he's so enamored of her.
 

Igetit!

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I posted before about a plate I was pursuing. I detailed how she had a bunch of dude orbiters and how I thought she wanted to maintain that status quo. Today I had a "come to jesus" moment where I realized that, wtf, I was one of those guys. I was giving this girl lots of attention (answering texts whenever she hit me up, constantly flirting with her, etc) because she was laying the game on thick for me. Looking back, I still think that she was giving me crazy amounts of IOI's, but I observed her today and she was doing the same for the other guys in this posse.

So, I've officially (in my mind anyway) cancelled her contract. She can continue to have orbiters, but I won't be one of them for another day.
Congratulations,I'm glad to hear it. So what's next on the agenda........you going to become an orbiter for someone else?
 

ubercat

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Yeah u can probably drift in and out of orbit. Plenty of guys get the odd consolation bang when Chad s busy. I disagree with Red s definition. If your validating and doing favours with no poon your absolutely an orbiter.
 

zekko

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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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ubercat

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Great skit. I got a bit lost in translation. I meant with Exes. I had an ex who I banged often. But she was bi and far more interested in girls. But simultaneously or thereabouts I had several other plates equally as wild. Over reaction to a prior boring marriage.
 
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