"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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To those who have formal and informal forms of addressing people in their language

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That means german, french, chinese, japanese and others.

How do you deal with a formal "Thank you, where are you from" reply to an informal "Hi, I like X and Y about you"?

In other words she keeps a verbal distance she always keeps when addressing 'older' people.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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timmylivingalie

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Is she a German? How much age difference? This could be an IOI depending on the circumstances or maybe she is just polite?
 
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timmylivingalie said:
Is she a German? How much age difference? This could be an IOI depending on the circumstances or maybe she is just polite?
I am going to believe it was an IOI, I like that mindset. :)
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Down Low

Master Don Juan
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In Spanish, people look at you like you're weird if you try to drag every conversation to the informal. The formal "you" does not imply a greater distance than the informal "you."

For instance, let's say you have lots of conversations, including on personal subjects, with a teacher, but no conversations at all with fellow students. The formally-addressed teacher is much closer than the informally-addressed students.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Phillip,
"Thee never thees them as thous thee"in parts of Yorkshire the old people still resent the familiar Thee...and so with Germans today,you never use the familiar until invited,the French are less fussy,but in general the Australian and US matey habit of using the familiar to everyone is frowned upon...As we don't know how old you are,nor the Girl,nor the Culture it is hard for us to advise you!
 
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