To Those that Have Kept Long-Term Arrangements with Women

[Chow Mein]

I have 3 friends that I have been seeing for over 2 years. Each offers different perspectives from their own experiences, work, family, personality. They always make time for me and we always get along and have a good time.

Have any of you experienced long term arrangements without commitments?
Did you settle down with one of them?
I’ve had one give me an ultimatum last year, but she still is excited to see me, what was the breaking point where they simply decided to detach from you completely?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's very rare. Usually these have a 3-4 month shelf life max

 

[BaronOfHair]

Have any of you experienced long term arrangements without commitments?

"Commitments" always exist... You still give up your time to spend one night out of the month with some aspiring actress, who's servicing a producer and her talent agent, when she ain't rolling around in the sheets with you

Not interested in being married, so I don't make THAT particular commitment

 

[BeExcellent]

I know men who have done this successfully over years. I'd say there are several contributing factors.

One is that the man is totally honest that he is never going to marry or be tied down.

Two is he's got to be someone she considers desirable, and often (but not always) his SMV is higher than hers. She sees him as a prize to be won to a great degree.

Three is she has to think there is a chance, however he denies it & however remote, that he will eventually commit to her.

Four is that he must realize that she will entertain other d ick as she is able and/or deems appropriate too. It's totally unreasonable to expect years of sexual loyalty while you are seeing her only casually and you are totally non committal sampling other snatch.

 

[Chow Mein]

Three is she has to think there is a chance, however he denies it & however remote, that he will eventually commit to her.

This point encapsulates the others you’ve mentioned.
As if the other 3 points are a prerequisite.

 

[The Duke]

I'd say this is super rare. Most of them want some form of commitment about the 3-4mo mark like was mentioned earlier. I've never known anyone to pull this off either.

 

[New_Journey]

what was the breaking point where they simply decided to detach from you completely?

Marriage.

 

[CoolWave1331]

Yeah I've sort of done this. It was with some girls that were in my friend group. There weren't really any consequences because they just ended up getting with/marrying a friend of mine or a friend of a friend.

In all the other cases one of two things happened: We stopped talking because I didn't want to go steady or she just ended up finding some other guy and we basically lost touch. Ends up being a short term thing generally with these types.