"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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To The NON Drinkers...

SteveTheDon

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How do you meet girls if you dont drink? Im 11 days sober today and been going to AA etc.. Im finally over my oneitis breakup and becoming a DON slowly..my question is how do you pick up women if you dont drink? Also Im talking to a chick on POF that invited me to stay the night with her.. Now I met 3 girls off that site and am 3 for 3 (fvcking em) however it was easy, wed meet, rent a room or go to their place and get drunk and Id become confident and witty and score.. wondering what to do if say she offers a drink or just trying to not want to drink since its a easy icebreaker etc.. any tips?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Bad Ass Canadian

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I'm in the same boat as you, except I'm 2 months sober. Just do as you're doing and if she offers a drink just politely say no thanx, I don't drink and leave it at that.

In all honesty, you might want to get some more time behind you as a sober man before you really start thinking about women. The first month (if you were a heavy drinker like I was) is a total readjustment period. Even now, at the 2 month mark and I'm just moving out of my infancy as a recovering alcoholic.

You can be everything you have to be, sober, to be successful with women. Drinking is a cop out for guys with little testicles because doing some of this stuff sober would make them horribly uncomfortable.

Wouldn't you be a better man if you could pull this all off in a natural, normal state?
 

SamTheHobit

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everything in moderation. don't drink during the week. only drink on the weekends.
 

Jariel

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I agree with The Bad Ass Canadian. I don't drink and haven't for several years. The problem is too many people depend on alcohol for a confidence boost because they're lacking genuine confidence. I struggled with this myself for a long time until I reached a point of genuine confidence.

I reached that point by taking risks, making mistakes and experiencing rejection first hand. Sure it stings at times, but you develop an immunity to it after a while and stop caring. It's an amazing sense of freedom when you can just be yourself, go for what you want and not need any alcohol or drugs to cope.

Just accept that it takes time and pushing yourself beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. And just remember, every rejection and bad experience you have is a lesson and another step in toughening you up and building your confidence.
 

Jariel

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SamTheHobit said:
everything in moderation. don't drink during the week. only drink on the weekends.
Unfortunately this doesn't work for recovering alcoholics. As with any addiction (from smoking to heroin to simply bad eating habits) if the substance is in your system, you will continue to crave it. The only way to beat it is to flush it out completely.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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backbreaker

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i have 6 and a half years clean (crack cocaine) and was I am a former friend of bill myself. first congrats on the clean time first and foremost keep up the good work and if you ever need any help in that regard pm me, be happy to talk to you.

with that said, if you are going to aa meetings and you are complaining about not being able to find dates yourdoingitwrong.gif

I am not your sponsor, if your sponsor says it's okay to date, go ahead. if he doesn't say it's okay to date don't. you need to listen to your sponsor on this, they know you and if they think it can be an issue you need to do what they say.

but there is so much ass inside the rooms, especially once you get your **** together, man finding women should be the least if your problems if you are doing what you supposed to do.

everything in moderation. don't drink during the week. only drink on the weekends.
lol, addiction is not a lifestyle choice man. if they could drink in moderation they wouldn't be addicts now would they. one is too many and a thousand is never enough. once you take the first one it's a wrap jack.

You can be everything you have to be, sober, to be successful with women. Drinking is a cop out for guys with little testicles because doing some of this stuff sober would make them horribly uncomfortable.
exactly. now i do drink now, drinking never was my thing anyway, but i drink in moderation, always have been. it's just that damn pipe that gets me. but when i was in AA, for 4 years, li gave up drinking 100% and had no problem doing so. if you HAVE to get plastered to talk to women, you have no game. and if she thinks you are "weird" because you don't drink, then that's someone you don't want anyway.
 
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