To tell them or not to tell them? That is the Question.

[HolyG]

To tell girls you think they're cute or not to tell girls you think they're cute?

That, my fellow DJs, is the question.

Discuss.

 

[Jay Jay]

tell.

but in a qualifying way not a submissive way... if that makes sense (im eating a peach will clarify if needed when done...)

 

[banGbro]

In what context? Is it a SOI? Id tell them they sexy.

 

[Kev07]

i wouldn't do it out of nowhere, i would callt hem cute in context though.

 

[HolyG]

yeah JayJay, please clarify.

I'm talking about if you're hitting on them. if a chick asked me do you think im hot, of course i wouldn't say yes.

 

[Obsidian]

no way, lame compliments like that backfire way more often than they actually work

 

[DR Chillz]

no way, lame compliments like that backfire way more often than they actually work

Nah you just got to do right. Like if the two of you are looking at pictures together or if she bends over in realy tight jeans.

 

[NFC]

Do whatever and say whatever you damn well feel at the time..

 

[Jay Jay]

yeah JayJay, please clarify.

I'm talking about if you're hitting on them. if a chick asked me do you think im hot, of course i wouldn't say yes.

Okay lets clarify here first. Your question asked if I would say "you're cute." When I said yes I was saying yes to the words "you're cute!" If she asked "am I hot?" I'd probably take her temperature.

I WAS NOT SAYING "it is a good seduction technique to compliment a girls looks."

The dictionary definition of cute actually is "ugly but interesting."

Saying "your cute is a NEG!!! Its a ****ing nice neg but a neg all the same. You are saying something nice but remember you call a puppy dog falling over cute, you call Ugly Betty cute, you call babies with food all over their face cute.

Saying cute is not the same as say "oh baby, you are more beautiful than the rising sun..." That I do not recommend until you are in bed ith her and even then I'd be careful...

Anyway, I do have something to say on IOIs and compliments, coz I think KJs have confused things...

There are two kinds of compliments and when you think about it you'll realise you've been on the recieving end of both.

There is a compliment from someone trying to win your approval, trying to butter you up or get you to do something.

A classic example is a work mate going, "oh, you take the call, you have a good relationship with that client." And you know the ****er is just saying that to make you do the work and you're like, "I'm not ****ing stupid.

A subcategory is the arse kisser "oh you are so cool let me hang out with you." Its ****ing sickening.

Then there is a compliment from a person who is giving an unbarbed compliment. You score a goal in football and your boys run and go "you are the ****ing man!"

Or your girl goes after a good shag, "baby, you have talent."

Both those compliments make you feel good because the person does not have to say it, they get nothing out of it, they are just saying it coz they feel you deserve it.

So for your question "should you tell a girl she is cute?" specifically when you are trying to pick her up? Or to take it a step further should you compliment her looks, in general, when on the hunt?

I will generalise and still say yes. Conditionally.

If you are saying it because you think she will go "awwwwwe, he's so nice! I'm going to let him suck on my nipples" then you are a fool. She'll really go "Pyewwwww!!! Get away from me sleazeball!"

But if you are saying it with confidence then its a good thing.

There seems to be massive confusion about IOIs.

One one hand a lot of guys say that you need to keep a girl uncertain about if you like her.

On the other a lot of dudes say to be sexual.

Too many dudes with no experience read, "you should not give IOIs until..." as gospel or read "you must convey sexuality" and think it the end all be all.

These two ideas are both valid and need to be reconciled.

Your question, when you get right into it, provides a good example of how to unite these two ideas for maximum effect.

Its all about ATTITIDE.

(okay the argument I am about to make you could say it absolutely reinforces the idea that you don't need to say "your cute." I am just going to say it is BETTER to verbalise that idea... sorry I am getting ahead of myself, read on)

So how do you make a compliment on a girls looks and not seem like you are kissing her arse?

You have to do it with an attitude that says, "yes I find you attractive but that doesn't necessarily mean I want to **** you and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean I am going to kiss your arse."

You have to deliver a compliment on looks with an attitude that says, "your toe is in the door, you pass on the looks scale... what else do you have for me baby?"

Yes it is an IOI, but thats okay as long as its not a submissive "oh you are so beautiful I am overwhelmed by you..."

Women almost always are the more passive party in the game. They will not open the door unless you knock first.

Women are also extreemly protective of their egos. By giving an IOI like a looks compliment you are giving them permission to take a step closer, to start acting like a sexual being.

If you give her a compliment with an attitude of, "wow you're cute, that means I will spend a few minutes finding out if you are cool enough to hang with me" she will love it, she will want more, she will see you as a sexual being and will feel permitted to express her own sexuality.

But then after a compliment (which is a pull) you have to give a bit of a push (for those of you who want more PU jargon drop a neg, or a c/f line or bust her balls over something).

So by letting her know you find her attractive you making a clear statement that you are not an androginous ***** who wants to be your friend and by doing it from a position of strength you are challenging her to step up if she wants more.

Yes, it is true you can express sexuality in attitude... you can send her psychic messages that you wanna **** her, but saying straight out "You're hot," lets her know that you are prepared to be a man about the entire thing and keep things moving along.

So thats about it for this essay. I will throw down the challenge to the doubters by saying if you do this and it fails its because you have

a. Complimented from a position of weakness

b. Failed to communicate (through a push, a c/f line or your attitude) that she needs to do more than look good.

(don't you like how I have neatly made an argument which says if my advice fails its your fault?)

Now I need to rest my hand.

JJ

 

[Call_Me_Daddy]

To tell girls you think they're cute or not to tell girls you think they're cute?

Tell them to polish your knob. At least its the truth.

 

[The Shocker]

Do whatever and say whatever you damn well feel at the time..

Exactly, there's no hard and fast rule...If you feel like saying it, say it. I don't have a problem saying "AFC" stuff if I feel like it, because I can do it in DJ fashion, so the girls perceive it as "sweet" or something like that, rather than pathetic and needy.

Don't be afraid to display your sexuality. And don't be afraid to neg her either, especially if she starts getting too mouthy.