Copied from my blog, A Dark Heart
Should I pay for a date?
A reasonable question. The truncated answer is most of the time, no.
Let’s be clear: there’s no free lunch. The best case scenario is you pay with your time, a priceless resource. The worst case is you pay with your time and your money, and get 0 return. It’s akin to working and then wondering why you didn’t get a paycheck, yet this is more common that one would expect. The check is, of course, penis in vagina.
That said, there are times when you should and shouldn’t pay, or more precisely when it’s unwise to be cheap. It’s also heavily context-dependent. I remember going on a date years ago when I still subscribed to dinners. I really wanted drinks but she insisted on a ‘more traditional’ arrangement (lesson learned). Not only did we go dutch on everything, tip included, but I whipped out a coupon to knock a few greenbacks off the meal. She was not impressed. Needless to say the night ended with a brief ‘I’ll never go out with you again’ hug. Furthermore if you’re dating, occasionally and intermittently rewarding her for good behavior with a night out will keep her enthralled. Punish swiftly, reward slowly.
Let’s look at two scenarios, both meeting a girl for drinks.
Scenario A – You’re well off. Fancy car, nice clothes, everyone knows it, and you blow a certain amount each month. In overall attractiveness (which is very different for men and women), you are within a point of one another. The girl is a waitress struggling to make ends meet and drives half an hour to see you between work shifts. It’s ok to buy a couple rounds. Does this mean you need to pay her way each time? No. Use it as a reward for good behavior – putting out and emotional support.
Scenario B – You’re both in a similar socioeconomic circle. You also sense that she may be more ‘traditional’ and expects the guy to spread his wallet well before she spreads her legs by virtue of being born with a warm hole. Do not pay for her. This is worse than prostitution. With the latter you at least get a specified reward. Moreover, if you do it once without equal reciprocity, you will be expected to pay every time.
Every situation is different, but it’s imperative to view time as your highest priority. Is it really worth pursuing if she’s looking for a free meal? Know this: genuine desire can’t be bought. You don’t need to go skydiving or woo her in a fancy restaurant. If you make her wet, a cheap-to-free rendezvous is sufficient. For this reason I refuse to do anything other than drinks or an equivalent.
Unless you’re compelled to do so for some strange reason, avoid time-heavy dates such as dinners, trips of any sort, or any drawn out events. These are fine after penetration, but when you’re first figuring each other out there’s nothing worse than being stuck somewhere for hours with a person you quickly realize you don’t like.
In most cases, you can meet at a bar and either finance your own drinks or (my favorite) announce that you’ll get the first round. Once you’re dry, excuse yourself to the restroom and tell her to get the next round. When you return, you’ll have your all-important answer. Women are entitled enough and thanks to our redistribution of wealth, on average have no problem paying their way. If she’s really attracted but doesn’t have the funds, showing up with a 6 pack of piss water will melt her heart.
Not paying won’t hurt your chances. If it does, your chances were never high to begin with. There are exceptions, but they are not the rule.
I decided to run an experiment with girl #44, who, by virtue of being the hottest I’ve had the pleasure of defiling, turned into a very intense 1 month fling. It ended with her pushing for exclusivity and a child, which isn’t on my to-do list for some time. On our first date I paid for drinks. She was willing to buy her own as I saw the purse come up, but quickly took advantage of the situation and never offered to pay her own way again, save one instance where she bought a round. Although she always brought her purse, she expected me pick up the bill thereafter, without so much as a thank you. Could I have dragged out the non-committal marathon sex just as long without the several hundred spent by the end of our ‘relationship’? I believe so, give or take a few days.
On the other hand, I had a drink date the other night where I told the girl to pick up the tip. Not the bill mind you, just the tip. She looked at me and said ‘are you serious?’.I said yes, but seeing as it wasn’t a large amount I paid and told her she failed a test. A few seconds later she retorted with ‘I hope that wasn’t a deal breaker, what other tests do you have for me?’. The night ended with a makeout and she’s interested in meeting again, but as you can guess the burning desire isn’t there. Could I drag it out for a few dates, drop a bill or two, and get access to her overpriced goods (she’s a 7 on the verge of 30 with more entitlement than the mirror grants her)? Most likely, but in these cases cut your losses and move on.
You’re either the alpha she gets wet for or the beta who’s paying her way. Which one are you? If she has the audacity to expect you to pay for a pre-sex night out, you have your answer. It’s not unreasonable to call her out on it, something to the tune of ‘we just met. I pay for someone as a reward. If we get to know each other and I like you, then we’ll see.’
Save your cash and build actual wealth. Handle your business.
Should I pay for a date?
A reasonable question. The truncated answer is most of the time, no.
Let’s be clear: there’s no free lunch. The best case scenario is you pay with your time, a priceless resource. The worst case is you pay with your time and your money, and get 0 return. It’s akin to working and then wondering why you didn’t get a paycheck, yet this is more common that one would expect. The check is, of course, penis in vagina.
That said, there are times when you should and shouldn’t pay, or more precisely when it’s unwise to be cheap. It’s also heavily context-dependent. I remember going on a date years ago when I still subscribed to dinners. I really wanted drinks but she insisted on a ‘more traditional’ arrangement (lesson learned). Not only did we go dutch on everything, tip included, but I whipped out a coupon to knock a few greenbacks off the meal. She was not impressed. Needless to say the night ended with a brief ‘I’ll never go out with you again’ hug. Furthermore if you’re dating, occasionally and intermittently rewarding her for good behavior with a night out will keep her enthralled. Punish swiftly, reward slowly.
Let’s look at two scenarios, both meeting a girl for drinks.
Scenario A – You’re well off. Fancy car, nice clothes, everyone knows it, and you blow a certain amount each month. In overall attractiveness (which is very different for men and women), you are within a point of one another. The girl is a waitress struggling to make ends meet and drives half an hour to see you between work shifts. It’s ok to buy a couple rounds. Does this mean you need to pay her way each time? No. Use it as a reward for good behavior – putting out and emotional support.
Scenario B – You’re both in a similar socioeconomic circle. You also sense that she may be more ‘traditional’ and expects the guy to spread his wallet well before she spreads her legs by virtue of being born with a warm hole. Do not pay for her. This is worse than prostitution. With the latter you at least get a specified reward. Moreover, if you do it once without equal reciprocity, you will be expected to pay every time.
Every situation is different, but it’s imperative to view time as your highest priority. Is it really worth pursuing if she’s looking for a free meal? Know this: genuine desire can’t be bought. You don’t need to go skydiving or woo her in a fancy restaurant. If you make her wet, a cheap-to-free rendezvous is sufficient. For this reason I refuse to do anything other than drinks or an equivalent.
Unless you’re compelled to do so for some strange reason, avoid time-heavy dates such as dinners, trips of any sort, or any drawn out events. These are fine after penetration, but when you’re first figuring each other out there’s nothing worse than being stuck somewhere for hours with a person you quickly realize you don’t like.
In most cases, you can meet at a bar and either finance your own drinks or (my favorite) announce that you’ll get the first round. Once you’re dry, excuse yourself to the restroom and tell her to get the next round. When you return, you’ll have your all-important answer. Women are entitled enough and thanks to our redistribution of wealth, on average have no problem paying their way. If she’s really attracted but doesn’t have the funds, showing up with a 6 pack of piss water will melt her heart.
Not paying won’t hurt your chances. If it does, your chances were never high to begin with. There are exceptions, but they are not the rule.
I decided to run an experiment with girl #44, who, by virtue of being the hottest I’ve had the pleasure of defiling, turned into a very intense 1 month fling. It ended with her pushing for exclusivity and a child, which isn’t on my to-do list for some time. On our first date I paid for drinks. She was willing to buy her own as I saw the purse come up, but quickly took advantage of the situation and never offered to pay her own way again, save one instance where she bought a round. Although she always brought her purse, she expected me pick up the bill thereafter, without so much as a thank you. Could I have dragged out the non-committal marathon sex just as long without the several hundred spent by the end of our ‘relationship’? I believe so, give or take a few days.
On the other hand, I had a drink date the other night where I told the girl to pick up the tip. Not the bill mind you, just the tip. She looked at me and said ‘are you serious?’.I said yes, but seeing as it wasn’t a large amount I paid and told her she failed a test. A few seconds later she retorted with ‘I hope that wasn’t a deal breaker, what other tests do you have for me?’. The night ended with a makeout and she’s interested in meeting again, but as you can guess the burning desire isn’t there. Could I drag it out for a few dates, drop a bill or two, and get access to her overpriced goods (she’s a 7 on the verge of 30 with more entitlement than the mirror grants her)? Most likely, but in these cases cut your losses and move on.
You’re either the alpha she gets wet for or the beta who’s paying her way. Which one are you? If she has the audacity to expect you to pay for a pre-sex night out, you have your answer. It’s not unreasonable to call her out on it, something to the tune of ‘we just met. I pay for someone as a reward. If we get to know each other and I like you, then we’ll see.’
Save your cash and build actual wealth. Handle your business.
