To man up or play the challenge game?

[BobFuest]

Looking for advice and started my own thread to avoid confusion

Originally Posted by squirrels for Macavoy
Or, alternately, you could be a MAN, stop tormenting yourself by living in the agonizing space between the two options, listen to your gut, and make a DECISION.

Your plan is NOT giving you power back, because you're still NOT making your own decisions. You're still hinging on what she does and constantly re-evaluating instead of manning up and choosing your OWN destiny in accordance with what YOU want.

I am still having this issue too. let me give a quick sit-rep:
Been dating a girl for a year. Things were fine. then she started trying to make me prove myself. I dont. Then we go on vacation (i promised and it has been a year together) that I planned before the issues. It goes good but she is a little bitc-hy (which i ignore) once a day on vacation and we only have sex 4 times out of the 5 days (which is minimal for us).
we get back and things are out of sorts a little. I tell her that I dont want to go through a whole thing, either we work out our stuff or we make a clean break. She says she loves me and wants to work it out but that we argue too much (about the same about as most couples) and she dont know if she can spend her life with a man like that (which is BS).
So, i stop calling. I stop hanging out. Problem is, so does she. She wanted to see me one day but told her i was busy and I would just stop by on the way (which i did). Then i notice other little things. She sends everyone (including her guy friends) email fwds but not me. Then she doesnt call in the morning like she used to. then i notice when we are talking to this manager that she said she wanted to get a job with (but maybe she is BS?) she is twirling her hair and her legs are crossed his way.
So I, like Macavoy, ignore her and all of the things that SHOULD BE DONE but in my heart I dont care what she wants or doesnt want. I want to go out tonight for wings and house music and want to call her and invite her but SHOULDNT i be showing i have a life without her? Even invite girls that are my friend out too that she is jealous of? I feel like its the wrong move but based on what your saying I want to make the decision to say "fu-ck it, if you want to leave there is the door and I am going out want to come?" I dont want to prove anything. Just go on about my life. with or without her. what is your opinion?

 

[speed dawg]

you need her > she needs you

change that

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Bob,

Whenever a woman has NO fear of losing you, SHE holds all the power.

Focus on yourself.

Increase your own value in as many ways as possible and let her see you doing it.

Then as you begin to distance yourself from her, and she actually LETS YOU GO...she is then PROVING she has continued low interest in you.

In that circumstance, you should continue to put one foot right after the other until you are actually walking out the door...and INTO the arms of a better woman...a woman that DESERVES A BETTER MAN.




March on.

 

[resilient]

Victory had the interest level part down. Great reply!

You'll know how well she really cares judged by her actions. If she leaves you or stays whatever - keep improving and adding value into your own life it will make you 100% happier and not overly focused on her.

 

[JoeBlack]

Yep, very good advice from Victory.

This is something I am working hard at lately. I have had a few dates recently and when some of them lose interest after the first date or two, I find it hard to work out as sometimes the conversation seemed good.

The key is making a great first impression, putting yourself our there as an interesting person with high value. Someone she would be LUCKY to get the chance of a second date with.

But.. to do that you HAVE to be someone to be lucky she should get a second date with.

My life is my work right now. I work 10-12 hours a day, get paid a LOT for it. My other hobby is the gym (which admottedly suffers from ym work) and I have a few businesses online. Now.. thats makes me a busy and occupied guy, but not neccessarily interesting.

So.... what am I doing? I am taking up cooking? I want to invite girls round and cook great dishes and make it look EASY.... I am taking up some sports, some interesting hobbies, learning about some interesting stuff... Building my character and giving me better value.

And the best thing? Not really just for girls. I am enjoying building my character and value, its making my life more fun......

 

[BobFuest]

thanks for the advice. I really needed to clear the cobwebs and think outloud. Everything that has been said really had me thinking about things in life.

As far as my woman, it dont matter. I stopped caring and am doing what I want to do with myself and my life. My whole frame has changed and it is for the better. Thanks!