To make a move or not?

[GADavid]

Got LJBF'd by this girl a few months ago. Things were bad between us for a while and I did my fair share of AFC chasing. I cut back on contact by about 90% and suddenly she's into hanging out more.

She's coming over to my apartment to study this weekend (definitely happening with no flaking potential). Is her coming over an intentional mixed signal that I'm falling for or is it an IOI? I mean, she has to know that I at least want to make a move on her. But I know she'd likely be pissed off if I do. She made it clear that the situtation we had before needed to stop, but at the same time, it seems incredibly naive for her to think I'm okay with just friends. The coming over part seems like an IOI to me, but her demeanor seems...prickly and keeping me at a distance. Maybe its my own hesitation that she is picking up on?

I've looked at this from every angle I can. It seems like a massive sh!t test that has no winning option for me. One part of me wants to make her comfortable and not make a move so I can try confident persistence with over a few weeks. The other part screams at me to man-up, make a move and accept the consequences whatever they may be. I guess if making a move doesn't work, I probably didn't have a chance to begin with and saved myself some time and effort... Just don't want to be impatient and ruin chances with this girl...she's worth a little bit of a wait.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

For now take it as this: it's finals time, and she wants to study. That's it.

She already friend-zoned you a few months ago, so at this point she sees you like she sees one of her girl friends. It's not a sh!t-test from her, nor is it an IOI at this point. She simply sees you as a friend and wants to study.

Now, with that said: IF, while she's over there, she starts trying to touch you, flirt with you, or ask about you and her in a relationship connotation, THEN she might be showing interest. But until that happens, there's no need for you to try and escalate things 'cause she only sees you as a friend.

Oh, and as for this:

She made it clear that the situtation we had before needed to stop, but at the same time, it seems incredibly naive for her to think I'm okay with just friends.

That's your bad for accepting the "just friends" offer. Once you accept the offer, girls assume you're okay with the terms. That means, regardless of you still liking her, she's still going to assume you're not going to try anything since she asked you not to. Girls have tons of guy friends who like them, but if they stopped being friends with all the guys who liked them they'd only have girl friends left - and girls can be a biznitch to be friends with (and that's according to girls themselves, lol).

 

[GADavid]

Additional info on the situation is that we've been in a FWB situation with each other several times before. Each lasting about 3 months before things get too serious/complicated. Things typically cool down for a few months and we reconnect. Her logical side is telling her to keep me at a distance, but lately her actions have been a bizarre mix of interested and uninterested.

 

[Purefilth]

lately her actions have been a bizarre mix of interested and uninterested.

nuff said.

Low interest/ keeping you around because she loves the attention.

get some plates together and spin them.