To kiss or not to kiss?

[CRDJit]

Hey everyone! I'm having some sort of dilemma and would like to know your opinion on it. About two weeks ago I had my first date with a girl I had known for some time. I kissed her at the end, and she reciprocated briefly before kissing me on the cheek and walking away. Later, she texted me saying that she'd like to get to know me better, that some things just happen and that it's alright, but that she's not like that (kissing on the first date), etc. I know that it's just probably that she doesn't want to come off as easy, but we are having our second date soon, and I'd like to know what should I do. Is it better to avoid kissing her (and thus creating challange) or would this come off as wussy/inconsistent behaviour (especially in contrast to the previous date)? I still have a little trouble reading the signs, so if you tell me to 'go with the flow and kiss her only if she gives you the signs' it's very likely that the kiss won't happen. It would be of great help if someone could explain this 'kiss test' everyone talks about, because I've searched the forum but can't find it. Thanks in advance!!

 

[DJDamage]

First time kiss rejects tend to happen especially with a young inexperienced girl.

Since you lack experience yourself, I suggest you have fun with her and go for the kiss close in the end of the night (that's how our society is programmed and its expected).

If she donesn't kiss you back the time, then forget about her.

 

[The Deacon]

My personal style is to throw any awkward subtext in any social interaction to the surface. What I'd do, in your case, is do the kiss test (which is pretty much the same principle as kino escalation).

First, you have to isolate her somewhere. I prefer couches in some sort of social arena that's off in a corner somewhere.

Second, you make good conversation with her, wait for some IOIs (like hair touches, or the occasional "sooooo" after a pregnant pause)

Third, run your fingers through her hair slowly, say "I'm trying so hard not to kiss you right now." She'll understand why you're saying it because she basically told you she doesn't want to feel like she's easy. MAKE SURE YOU HAVE DIRECT EYE CONTACT, since it's CRUCIAL to build sexual tension.

Now, from here, the conversation can end up going two ways. She liked you enough to kiss you on the first date, so she's probably not going to hit the eject button from the couch when you do this. She could either:

1. Look deep into your eyes and say something of the nature of "oh, okay," but look like she's receptive for a kiss. This commonly happens when the girl's shy and refuses to ******dly express what she is feeling. Her body language will give away what she is thinking.

2. Look deep into your eyes and say something of the nature of "why not? Go ahead and do it."This'll sometimes happen with girls who are a bit more on the uhh, wild side. You get one of these very often if you go to parties where people are just looking for random hookups.

3. Turn away and clam up. At this point you'll have to regain comfort values, since you just made a move on her and she wasn't comfortable with it. You can do this by saying "I understand," then continuing conversation as if nothing happened.

If either 1 or 2 happens, go ahead and kiss the girl. She won't stop you, I promise.

That's the way I do things. I'm not saying follow all of these directly, but take the abstract idea and run home with it.

 

[Obsidian]

I don't think there's any one answer to your question. Some girls are crazy enough that they'll bail on you if you don't kiss 'em the first time. Other girls are crazy enough that they'll get pissed if you try to kiss 'em the first/second date. Just do whatever the hell you want and quit trying to please this chick. Women don't know what they want, and she's not running the show; you are.

If I were you, I might try going without it on the second (cheap) date and wait for the third. Believe me; you won't be creating any challenge by not kissing, but it may make her more comfortable to wait. Unfortunately, like you said, she may also resent the fact that she can control you with her irrational behavior. Ultimately, the best way to assure receptivity to a kiss is just to kino her a lot in preparation. It helps if you're watching a movie or television and/or drinking.