To Find or Not to Find?

[dockta]

Well guys.... heres the deal.

Once again.. i met this beautiful member of the opposite sex and thought that there was some kind of initial 'spark'. But as i always do.. i was too focused on building a 'great' rapport over the first 2-3 encounters, that my opportunity to ask for the number/date, quickly diminished before my very eyes.. the eyes which are now responsible for me posting here on this board.

Over the few semi-brief encounters.. we talked, laughed etc etc. She told me where she works, without any hesitation.. what she does, when she works and so on.

Here place of work is not far from me at all.. 5 mins tops.

So my question to you all....

I have not seen her for quite a while now.. about 2 months... and i am alost definate that there was Interest towards me..... so...

Is it Wrong to go to her place of work and ask for her? or is that just not on? does it spell stalker or desperate or both?

Thanks in advance

 

[dockta]

birty..

Thanks for your reply...... that was exactly what i was thinkin.. hence, why i havent done anything mildly insane like i was suggesting before.

See, the thing is.... i HAVE been going out, getting numbers.. hell i have 'bedded' 3 women since the last encounter with her. I just cant seem to get her out of my head, no matter what i do. and it isnt getting easier... its actually close to the opposite.. the more i approach other woman.. the more i think of the other one. actually being 'the one'. I have never shunned away from the fact that i have extreme 'one-itis' with this particular ladie.. and i just cant convince myself otherwise.. it is quite rare for me to achieve 'one-its' (good thing).. but when i do.. i cant reverse it (very bad thing).

Like i said.. i thought i was going well, approaching/picking up/bedding other ladies.. which my 'one-its' doesnt get in the way of... but on the weekend.. a lovely HB9 was eyeing me off and smiling at the establishment i was at.. and i just idnt want a bar of it... (normally i woulda pounced on it... but i didnt.
I shrugged her off like a woolen scarf on a summers day... i actually fel sorry for her when i left.

This is becoming more frequent.

Thanks for feeling my pain.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Oh don't go there, LITERALLY! You guys were just chit chatting, she did not invite you to meet her at her job. DON'T GO THERE! The last thing you want to do is surprise her like that after not seeing her for a couple of months. She depends on this job to survive and the last thing she would want to do is wonder if this guy she hasn't seen in a couple of months has started stalking her at her job!

These situations only happen when we waste time and not take quick action. Why has it taken so long to pursue her (that's a rhetorical question, I don't want to know).

Your best bet if you want to go through the effort, is to start over from square one. Try to meet up at the same place that you originally met her. If you see her, in a surprised and jovial voice say hello to her using her name. RE-introduce yourself and tell her that you two met a couple of months ago at the same spot. DO NOT ask "Do you remember me?" That is completely AFC.

This time, finish what you start and ask her out for coffee after work. You'll be lucky to have another chance, make this one worthwhile.

 

[Slickster]

Going by her work isn't the best plan. Its a little desperate.

Your real problem lies in your head. What are you doing thinking about this chick so much for? You had a connection with her and that is cool. However, you are worrying to yourself that you may be seen as a some kind of stalker. This should tell you something about yourself. Maybe you are getting a little too obsessive and thinking about her too much. - The Wrong Path.

Get your head on straight and realize that she's just a chick you had a good encounter with. That's a good sign, and you should be striving for these encounters with all women. But remember she's just another chick. Put her on your list of "potentials" and get on with it. - The Right Path.

I'm sure you could just happen to be passing by her place of work one day. Maybe around lunch time. Just happen to bump into her on the street or in the parking lot. Play it off like she's an old friend you haven't seen for a while. "Hey, What's happening! Let's go for lunch!" If not "It was great to see ya. Why don't you give me your number."

Is that stalking? If you are wandering around on the Wrong Path obsessing about her and showing up at her work....YES.

If you are on the Right Path, with your head on straight, then you are just passing thru and following up on a "potential". Its just playing the game.

 

[dockta]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Slickster..

I liked your 'list of potentials' analogy. I am going to use that for sure. She has now been 'demoted' to the potentials list.

Tough luck...... for her!

Cheers.

 

[Good_ol_boy]

I agree if she works in an office of "girly" store. But, and this is a big "but", if she works someplace where you might just "happen" to go (like a bar or resteraunt), why not go and get a drink or dinner and "just happen to run into her"???

 

[Walden]

Ask for her but have a good reason to.
Also GFTOW.

 

[disciple]

If you haven't seen this chick for 2 months, in that period of time, think about how many other chicks who were just as interested if not more interested and available you could have approached or met.

Maybe it is just my instincts but something is telling me you have developed a slight case of one-itus for this chick.

If you happen to see her, ask for her home phone number, chat for a minute or two, and then excuse yourself because you have somewhere to be.

But don't bet on seeing her. Instead focus on all of the opportunities that probably pass you by everyday.

 

[cave dweller]

point....

good ol boy has a good point.

Where does she work?

An office, bar, Sears, K-Mart or what?

If it is an office, well, pick up the phone and call her.

If it is Sears---go shopping.

What do you have to loose?

cave dweller

 

[dockta]

Thanks for your posts guys.

peace