To break up or not to?

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Alright I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. Everthing has been awesome up until now mayhap? She is a good girlfriend to me from examples; She always wants to be with me, be by my side, gives me attention, calls me everyday wanting to see me or want to know what I'm doing, trys to look out for me, cooks for me, gives me what I want, takes care of me if needed, sex all the time, worrys about me (If im out drinking she blows up my phone making sure im safe and ok), never gave a huge red flag to get rid of her, and all that good stuff.

Lately though I feel like she kind of uses me for certin things and maybe the spark is going away. So, lately I have been kind of distant towards her and she asks if I'm gonna dump her. I told her I don't know right now I like you and everything but, things just aren't the same with us right now. She says she loves me and doesn't want me to break up with her and she will "change" for me.

So, I feel that I'm in a pickle with myself. I like her and she is a good girlfriend to me. But, on the other hand I'm not sure if the spark is there anymore. It may be because, not much has really been going on lately and we been together for basicly a year and things are just normal now. Maybe, me in her just need a break from each other and see how we feel other wise or I dunno right now....

 

[Vendetta081789]

Alright I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. Everthing has been awesome up until now mayhap? She is a good girlfriend to me from examples; She always wants to be with me, be by my side, gives me attention, calls me everyday wanting to see me or want to know what I'm doing, trys to look out for me, cooks for me, gives me what I want, takes care of me if needed, sex all the time, worrys about me (If im out drinking she blows up my phone making sure im safe and ok), never gave a huge red flag to get rid of her, and all that good stuff.

Lately though I feel like she kind of uses me for certin things and maybe the spark is going away. So, lately I have been kind of distant towards her and she asks if I'm gonna dump her. I told her I don't know right now I like you and everything but, things just aren't the same with us right now. She says she loves me and doesn't want me to break up with her and she will "change" for me.

So, I feel that I'm in a pickle with myself. I like her and she is a good girlfriend to me. But, on the other hand I'm not sure if the spark is there anymore. It may be because, not much has really been going on lately and we been together for basicly a year and things are just normal now. Maybe, me in her just need a break from each other and see how we feel other wise or I dunno right now....

You sir are in QUITE the pickle. You have two ways to look at things. The first way. By saying she is willing to change, she feels desperate and lost without you. She feels like she needs you, and probably genuinely loves you. The second, she is too clingy for you and is probably psycho. I personally hope for the latter so I can get a good laugh at your "MY G/F IS A PSYCHO" post...

If you have the time/money take a vacation for JUST you for a weekend or a week. See how you feel when you get home. SO happy to see her, or like you want to go back on vacation.

Best of luck to you <3

 

[KontrollerX]

Could you elaborate at all on what she uses you for or is it far too personal a matter to share with the forum?

In anycase whatever it is about this using of you that makes you wary to remain in a relationship with her it must be important if its a serious enough issue to dump her over.

This could indeed be her showing you who she really is because I mean after all 11 months of a relationship means the honeymoon phase has cooled down a bit or starting to cool down and after this phase of a relationship the two people involved get to see who eachother is really dealing with.

Do you get that sense I.A.F.Y.B. that who you are seeing in her now is who she really is inside?

 

[BoredDude]

It seems like you're the one wanting out, and it seems to be different between you two now because of how you view the relationship. It seems like you are getting bored and want to move on, and her changing won't change that.

 

[Vendetta081789]

I still vote on the psycho clingy g/f thread. Pwease make my dreams come true!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Could you elaborate at all on what she uses you for or is it far too personal a matter to share with the forum?

In anycase whatever it is about this using of you that makes you wary to remain in a relationship with her it must be important if its a serious enough issue to dump her over.

This could indeed be her showing you who she really is because I mean after all 11 months of a relationship means the honeymoon phase has cooled down a bit or starting to cool down and after this phase of a relationship the two people involved get to see who eachother is really dealing with.

Do you get that sense I.A.F.Y.B. that who you are seeing in her now is who she really is inside?

Well, her mom has had a bad past with financial issues. Her mom has a full time job currently but, they only have one car. My GF did work but, had to quit to stay home to baby sit her brother while her mom is at work. So, sometimes I find myself doing most the driving with her by helping her go to places, helping her get weed, paying for lunch most the time and I don't get much in return besides her love and sex. Yes, she will pay me back by doing other things for me suchs as buying me things and ect. But, I feel I do the 70% of the giving. Now, I don't want to be the guy she relys on to help her out in her problems. But, on the other hand I know what I do for her is not a big deal and I have been in similar situations. So, that is kind of the part I feel she is trying to take advantage of me on.

As for me feeling things aren't quite the same could be because, the spark may be gone. Or we are just more use to each other and such from being in a relationship for almost a year (11 months.)

As for Vandetta, I may need some time away from her to clear my mind and figure out what I really want.

Edit: Also, to add. My girlfriend is wanting to get a grave yard shift job so, she can baby sit her brother in the day time and use the car at night to work. So, her money situation can improve with her making money. Which, can end up her not relying on me here and there.

 

[Vendetta081789]

Sounds to me like you are well on your way to solving your problems mate. Keep us posted.

 

[DonJuan11]

Alright I have been with my girlfriend for 11 months now. Everthing has been awesome up until now mayhap? She is a good girlfriend to me from examples; She always wants to be with me, be by my side, gives me attention, calls me everyday wanting to see me or want to know what I'm doing, trys to look out for me, cooks for me, gives me what I want, takes care of me if needed, sex all the time, worrys about me (If im out drinking she blows up my phone making sure im safe and ok), never gave a huge red flag to get rid of her, and all that good stuff.

Lately though I feel like she kind of uses me for certin things and maybe the spark is going away. So, lately I have been kind of distant towards her and she asks if I'm gonna dump her.

Why would she ask you if you are going to dump her? That's an awkward question to ask when she loves you and can't get enough of you and wants to sleep with you all the time. It's like my friend telling me I'm the best hockey player on his team and then asking me when I'm going to quit the team.

 

[WC2]

Do I think you should breakup? I don't know.. what I do know is that I don't see any VALID reason to dump this woman unless you just don't like her.

If anything, you've caught this sort of "troft" in the relationship before your GF has even realized it. This is a golden opportunity to liven things up. Take her for a random trip somewhere this week.. maybe to a park nearby or somewhere a little farther away. If there is no longer a spark, it's always the male's job to ignite that spark and it's the woman's job to keep it lit. If she can't keep it lit, then maybe it's time to move on.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Why would she ask you if you are going to dump her? That's an awkward question to ask when she loves you and can't get enough of you and wants to sleep with you all the time. It's like my friend telling me I'm the best hockey player on his team and then asking me when I'm going to quit the team.

She asked me that cause she feels I'm seeing her less and being more distant towards her. So, she kind of wants to know ahead of time to try to presuade me to stay with her. Like, when she said she will "change for me."

Do I think you should breakup? I don't know.. what I do know is that I don't see any VALID reason to dump this woman unless you just don't like her.

If anything, you've caught this sort of "troft" in the relationship before your GF has even realized it. This is a golden opportunity to liven things up. Take her for a random trip somewhere this week.. maybe to a park nearby or somewhere a little farther away. If there is no longer a spark, it's always the male's job to ignite that spark and it's the woman's job to keep it lit. If she can't keep it lit, then maybe it's time to move on.

Yes, I will give it more time and spend some more one on one time with her. If things still arent going the way I see it. It will probably be time to move on...

 

[Axcell]

I, personally, would not break up with her.
She seems like a great girl, and she should be somewhat decent looking if you hooked up with her in the first place. A good girl is hard to find. If the sparks seemed to have disappeared, try this out:

Take some time apart. No, don't break up, take some space apart from each other. It will make you guys seem closer. If this fails, and feelings do not reignite and you do not feel you miss her, THAN call the shot that the relationship is over.

Sometimes when you are in a relationship and things are going extremely well for an extensive period of time, things feel dull. The truth is that you haven't lost feelings, you just need some space..

Hope this advice helped, I give it based on personal experience. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Axcell.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I, personally, would not break up with her.
She seems like a great girl, and she should be somewhat decent looking if you hooked up with her in the first place. A good girl is hard to find. If the sparks seemed to have disappeared, try this out:

Take some time apart. No, don't break up, take some space apart from each other. It will make you guys seem closer. If this fails, and feelings do not reignite and you do not feel you miss her, THAN call the shot that the relationship is over.

Sometimes when you are in a relationship and things are going extremely well for an extensive period of time, things feel dull. The truth is that you haven't lost feelings, you just need some space..

Hope this advice helped, I give it based on personal experience. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.

Axcell.

She is not the hottest looking and has some meat on her. (pleasently plump.) But, I like her looks and most guys hit on her... No, she is not a cow lol...

But, yes; I will try taking some time apart and spending some one on one dates with her.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Literally kick this ho to the curb!! When you ARE OUT WALKING TOGETHER and you find a curb - kick her towards it!! And say, "Depart from me - ho!!"

There is no such thing as a nice "ho"!!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

Literally kick this ho to the curb!! When you ARE OUT WALKING TOGETHER and you find a curb - kick her towards it!! And say, "Depart from me - ho!!"

I'll do it and tell you the results.

 

[Obsidian]

http://home.att.net/~E.Zeiser/lyrics/pina_colada_song.htm

 

[kickureface]

LMS you amuse me.

 

[DonJuan11]

She says she loves me and doesn't want me to break up with her and she will "change" for me.

I don't know dude. If any guy said that to a girl the girl would get rid of him so fast it would make his head spin. Do you really want a girl who do anything for you just to keep you? I would a girl to talk to me about it, see what was bothering me so we could fix it together. I would like to view a gf as a partnership where we make relationship decisions together.

It seems like you have tons of power here, just use it wisely.

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

So, last night me and my girlfriend went to a lil party to drink a little bit. All of us were couples except for 1 guy there. The 1 guy started to try n hit on our girlfriends. I didn't let it bother me but one of my friends got pissed and tried to fight him. The dude gave my friend a bloody nose so, my cousin roughed him up a bit and sent him on his way.

Me and my gf had a pretty good time. Nothing too major. Then, another one of my friends pulled me aside. He told me he is gonna have the house to himself today. And he has a girl coming in out of town to fvck him. He said I can come over to get some also.

Now, I got the option to have a three way with another girl but, cheat on my girlfriend.... I'll post later what happens..