wordism
Don Juan
I'm so used to having my own place of living but now I don't soo.. I'm raising this question, and thought it would be interesting.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
To Be 24 Years Old and a Great Seducer must you have your Own Place?
- Thread starter wordism
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Not having your own place is not optimal, but no ONE "flaw" is likely to be a deal-breaker (unless it's something ungodly awful, which this is not). It'll probably be as big of a deal as you believe it to be.
If you constantly worry about it, somehow your subconscious will tell her subconscious, and she'll be much more likely to think it's a "big deal."
But on the other hand, it can be nothing to you. You don't have to worry about it, even once. "I'm living with my parents for the time being." if she asks or it comes up naturally. When she invites you to "her place" later on, you'll know you're in.
If you constantly worry about it, somehow your subconscious will tell her subconscious, and she'll be much more likely to think it's a "big deal."
But on the other hand, it can be nothing to you. You don't have to worry about it, even once. "I'm living with my parents for the time being." if she asks or it comes up naturally. When she invites you to "her place" later on, you'll know you're in.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Here's how to reframe any bad situation. (BS)
1) think of three or four good outcomes, or positive aspects (PA1) for your BS
2) thing of another three good things about each of those (PA2)
When asked any question, that requires you to admit your BS, answer like this
Well, right now (BS), but because of that (PA1) and that will allow me to (PA2). Then begin talking about (PA2) with open excitement about your future.
For example
Her: Where do you live?
You: Oh, I live at home. I had to move back after I lost my job, but that's ok, because that gives me extra time to work on my engineering degree. when I graduate with a degree with Electrical Engineering, I plan to work for NASA and the space program, which is really great because I've always dreamed of outer space ever since I saw E.T. and so on...
1) think of three or four good outcomes, or positive aspects (PA1) for your BS
2) thing of another three good things about each of those (PA2)
When asked any question, that requires you to admit your BS, answer like this
Well, right now (BS), but because of that (PA1) and that will allow me to (PA2). Then begin talking about (PA2) with open excitement about your future.
For example
Her: Where do you live?
You: Oh, I live at home. I had to move back after I lost my job, but that's ok, because that gives me extra time to work on my engineering degree. when I graduate with a degree with Electrical Engineering, I plan to work for NASA and the space program, which is really great because I've always dreamed of outer space ever since I saw E.T. and so on...
Well I live with my sister and I've never had any complaints.
Not the same as living with your parents though, I didn't have any chicks when I was living with my parents since I lived in a dead end town then with no decent chicks... so I don't really know.
But what's it got to do with her anyway?
If she lives with her parents, what's she goin' on about?
..and if she lives on her own, then go back to hers.
I don't think it matters.
Either way, she can be boned regardless of who's living with you.
Not the same as living with your parents though, I didn't have any chicks when I was living with my parents since I lived in a dead end town then with no decent chicks... so I don't really know.
But what's it got to do with her anyway?
If she lives with her parents, what's she goin' on about?
..and if she lives on her own, then go back to hers.
I don't think it matters.
Either way, she can be boned regardless of who's living with you.
donjuanapprentice01
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 22, 2005
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I know a few people who have had to move back in with their folks over the last year due to the ****ty economy and the fact they had to take drastic pay cuts... people as old as 30. So it's not that big a deal as you may make it seem.
That is excellent advice Tayuu
That is excellent advice Tayuu
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
wordism
Don Juan
Thanks for the advice fellows
It is not a big deal to us but to women it is. You have to remember that 1 of the important things that a woman looks for in a guy is the guy being strong because they want to feel secure and protected with him. Not necessarily a guy that is all big and buff but a guy that they know will be able to protect them.donjuanapprentice01 said:
If a guy lives with his parents still he doesn't come off as strong compared to an independent guy. Remember that women chose guys based on hardwired things like him being able to be a provider for children.
This won't be a big deal to her if it's not one to you.
However, there are women who are judgmental; they may think you're incapable of self-sustaining yourself, or getting a job that pays off for your own roof and utility bill etc.
Just don't make it a big problem and it won't be one.
If the question ever arises, just tell her "I'm with my parents, I believe it's important to stay tight with the family at this age. Not a lot of people spend time with those who fed them out of their hands."
Shift her perception so it becomes congruent with yours on this case with sound reasoning.
However, there are women who are judgmental; they may think you're incapable of self-sustaining yourself, or getting a job that pays off for your own roof and utility bill etc.
Just don't make it a big problem and it won't be one.
If the question ever arises, just tell her "I'm with my parents, I believe it's important to stay tight with the family at this age. Not a lot of people spend time with those who fed them out of their hands."
Shift her perception so it becomes congruent with yours on this case with sound reasoning.