to avoid depression while dating, do THIS

[AFC Savior]

never ever ever ever ever have just ONE girlfriend and thats it.........your emotions will get so messed up over that one girl that all of your improvements as a don juan will come to a hault........you will be back to one-itis AFC mode if u EVER EVER EVER commit to just ONE girl

this IS a morality issue, and you need to throw morals out the window, because "nice guys" have morals, and they get used and screwed up, u dont wanna be that

the point is, to avoid getting depressed over any one girl or any one situation, you HAVE TO PLAY THE FIELD

tell 2 girls that you love them
go out on dates with 6 girls in one week
have sex with 4 girls in one week
use the same exact lines on the same girls
THIS IS ALL IN THE NAME OF FUN



the second that you get too emotional over ONE girl, you will turn back into a chump (ive been there, speaking from experience).........when that ONE girl that you are emotional over does not pick up when u call, every passing hour feels like hell, dont tell me that it doesnt, because it does.......but random *****es that u are ****ing, you dont care how soon they call you back, correct??


its a double edged sword

 

[The Forms]

I've done the whole "dating multiple girls" thing and it's not that great. You can't emotionally invest in any of them when you (or at least, I) do this. If you don't WANT to be emotionally invested in any woman right now, this might be fun, but once you're ready for a real emotional connection with a girl this would be a terrible idea.

Spinning plates is fine and well, but once you get a girl you really like, it doesn't feel right to go around boning some other girls. After I went on a few dates with the girl I'm dating now I cut off contact with my FBs because I wanted to be with her AND screw around with other girls. There's no emotional depth to your relationships when you have multiple girlfriends.

Your argument seems to be, "in order to not get burned by a girl, you should have no emotional attachment to one. Just bone lots of them all the time." If that's your thing go for it, but that wasn't very fulfilling for me personally.

Do you actually do this, or have you just recently decided that this is something you want to try out? This talk sounds like how a lot of guys think right after their first big heartbreak.

 

[DonJuan11]

I've done the whole "dating multiple girls" thing and it's not that great. You can't emotionally invest in any of them when you (or at least, I) do this. If you don't WANT to be emotionally invested in any woman right now, this might be fun, but once you're ready for a real emotional connection with a girl this would be a terrible idea.

Spinning plates is fine and well, but once you get a girl you really like, it doesn't feel right to go around boning some other girls. After I went on a few dates with the girl I'm dating now I cut off contact with my FBs because I wanted to be with her AND screw around with other girls. There's no emotional depth to your relationships when you have multiple girlfriends.

Your argument seems to be, "in order to not get burned by a girl, you should have no emotional attachment to one. Just bone lots of them all the time." If that's your thing go for it, but that wasn't very fulfilling for me personally.

I think he's saying just keep talking to girls and flirt with them, even if you have a girlfriend you sleep with. As soon as you think she is the greatest thing ever and you don't ever want anyone else, you might exhibit AFC's qualities.

He's not saying sleep with multiple girls at the same time, he's just saying keep it going with other girls. Talk to them, phone them, flirt, cup of coffee, etc. He's right when he says if a girl you really like and sleep with doesn't answer the phone a few times; you get nervous and phone more and more. Now if you had 4 other girls to phone at the same time, you wouldn't care. The girl would have to prove to you that she's worth it and not the other way around.

No one said sleep with alot of girls and then get the (bleep) out of Dodge. That is cruel.

 

[The Forms]

He's not saying sleep with multiple girls at the same time. . . No one said sleep with alot of girls and then get the (bleep) out of Dodge. That is cruel.

Did you not read his post? That's EXACTLY what he says.

tell 2 girls that you love them. . . have sex with 4 girls in one week

If all he was talking about was that you should still flirt with girls when you have a girlfriend then that's one thing, but saying you should bone 4 girls in one week and tell two girls you love them is just a can of worms you don't want to open. That's a recipe for "will end badly."

I've definately been in that situation where you really start to like a girl and start to feel yourself falling back into some afc ways (thinking incessantly about why she didn't pick up when you called) but the answer isn't going out and boning other girls or deciding you don't want emotional attachment at all. Doing this is just plain overreacting.

When you find yourself falling back into AFC ways you have to just say to yourself, "hey man, you're acting crazy. Just chill out here for a minute. Imagine how quick you'd drop a girl if she was freaking out because you didn't pick up the phone when she called. You'd call her a crazy *****!"

That's how a normal, healthy person should react. That's what we're aiming for. Freaking out and deciding you need to bone 3 other girls this week is not healthy. That screams "issues."

 

[Alphamale1821]

people here seriously take everything to literal, i'll dumb it down for those who don't undertstand. The best away to avoid one itis to have a constant flow of women. Be it ****king, flirting, dating, or whatever the more women you have the less likely you are to get oneitis over once chick and become afc.

Obvisouly if your wanting to pursue a relationship with one chick then by all means do that, but don't let your skills get rusty by not talking to other chicks then you go afc and you lose your oneitis.

 

[young_gun]

never ever ever ever ever have just ONE girlfriend and thats it.........your emotions will get so messed up over that one girl that all of your improvements as a don juan will come to a hault........you will be back to one-itis AFC mode if u EVER EVER EVER commit to just ONE girl

This is terrible advice. If I'm dating a girl, I HAVE to see that she is trustworthy and committed to our relationship, and if I were to go around having sex (even kissing) other girls, I would not be holding up my end of the bargain. The way I see it, if I want her to respect me, then I need to give her the same level of respect. If I'm single, I see no problem messing around with multiple girls at once, but when I'm in a relationship, my fun stick is reserved for one woman. I understand that you may find things out about her in time that you don't like, but if I'm going to be taking myself off the market so to speak, she has to be a pretty special girl - someone I've selected. I don't just go around dating anyone.

I agree with you on the part that you shouldn't cut ties with other women, because if you do, your AFC side can tend to shine through. But I don't think you should sleep with other women if you have a girlfriend. But then again, I know not everyone shares this view. Just my 2 cents

 

[ready123]

if you revert back to AFC mode, it's your own internals you have to fix. playing the field will help of course, but the exclusive LTR wasn't really the problem. the problem was you not knowing what you wanted from women and not keeping a grounded reality

also the guys who would be most prone to getting depressed over a girl are the ones who don't have the skills to hook up 6 dates in one week anyway so it's a moot point. it's like telling dudes with one-itis that they should go sleep w/ 10 women to make the one-itis go away when the reality is, those dudes don't even know how to get a date