To anyone who just got Dumped, and is feeling like trash! [Must Read]

[Lotus Effect]

Hey guys.

To shorten my story to a minimum, I've got dumped in May, and I still feel like garbage, like all the fault was on me, and that I've messed up real bad with my ex.
I did tried to contact her over the course of months, which of course, as you may know now (otherwise you wouldn't be hurting) it only drove her further away. But she always gave me a little hope. Just a little something, only for her pleasure, of knowing that there was a jackass following her, and for me hurting even more.

Anyway, in my journey from getting back together, to getting over her, to develop myself instead of focusing on her, I've read a lot. And when I say a Lot, I mean a LOT!

And in my readings I've came across one particular post, and in this particular post, I've found a link to the best thing I've read in this whole 5 months.

It is a little long, but nothing that will take you guys more than an hour. And the content of the text is so mind opening and revealing, that you will want more.

So without further embroil. Here is the link: http://gettinbetter.com/anycost.html

The page deals about the topic of a serious issue. That is BPD, or for those who don't know what is this, Borderline Personallity Disorder. It is a medical condition, and since I'm assuming you guys have good taste and are Picky, your Ex's might fall in this category, 'cause the woman has to be beautifull, and of course, as it always happen with the most gorgeous ones, with familly issues. They are never the girls raised in a good familly structure.

On another issue to remember, guys who fall for this type of women, are generally outgoing, but insecure, with self esteem issues. Which can translate to = Anyone in this forum. (You might be cool now, but you just got here because you were clueless and afraid)

It has severelly helped me on understand everything, and since I've found it so well hidden, I thought it was a good idea to put it out in the open for all you guys!

Read it, and make your own conclusions. I know that there is a lot that I have to improve on myself, and being dumped opened my eyes to many of thoses things. But at least this got the blame weight off my shoulders!

Best of Luck!

 

[Dhoulmagus]

I got dumped in May too, and I still feel like ass lol.

 

[tripod23]

falecomnetto....its great to read this sort of stuff . i am glad you are getting yourself sorted .....i to have been f---ed around by a chick after a split with my long term partner , i wont go into details but i met this woman who totally blew up my phone and was so into me , we fell out she started seeing another dude , i found out , and she still wanted me to be friends with her [ she wast rying to say things wernt serious ] what a joke...... i told her to take a hike and walked away ....6 weeks passed and what do you know she text me ....anyway i let my gaurd down very foolishly went out 3 times and did the deed every time we went out ,,,,back to her place ...and bingo......anyways she started all the nonesense again so i told her what i thought about how she disrespected my time and me as a person and went straight into no contact and its been 5 weeks now [ today ] . i was out friday night walked in a bar and she was sat there with her girlfriend i heard her say oh my god as i got to the door.......i walked right past and never looked at her.

i got me and the wingmans beer and went to the other side of the bar very shortly after she came past to go to the toilet.....she looked very sheepish and said hi to me .....all night i made sure i had my back to her while talking to some girls i knew , and my buddy had been watching all night what my ex had been doing.....he told me she had been looking around a corner where she was stood looking over ....she even had her friend doing the same. i never looked in her direction at all....i was determined not to look in any way.

now my point is this i too have made stupid mistakes by telling this girl how i felt.....[ very big mistake on my part ] i am truly more angry at myself than her in some ways. but once a girl has made her silly little mind up and talked everthing over with her crazy friends as well by the way - there is very little you can do other than be as polite as possible given the situation and then walk away....

begging , pleading , crying , texting , all this type of thing never and i repeat never works or very rarely . all it does is make the women dig her heals in even more . and makes us look stupid and weak.

now if your girl had a high attraction towards you , then things went sideways for whatever reason and she wont have anything to do with you.....the only power you have left is to delete her number be polite and walk away and go take care of your mission in life , but under no circumstances take crap from a woman . as the old saying goes silence is golden and i believe that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt , but if an ex comes back i believe its very hard to forget what has gone on in the past , plus the trust issues are sometimes a big problem , or just the fact that some guys just cant forget the s--t that some women put us through.

anyway good luck with everything.

 

[Lotus Effect]

falecomnetto....its great to read this sort of stuff . i am glad you are getting yourself sorted .....i to have been f---ed around by a chick after a split with my long term partner , i wont go into details but i met this woman who totally blew up my phone and was so into me , we fell out she started seeing another dude , i found out , and she still wanted me to be friends with her [ she wast rying to say things wernt serious ] what a joke...... i told her to take a hike and walked away ....6 weeks passed and what do you know she text me ....anyway i let my gaurd down very foolishly went out 3 times and did the deed every time we went out ,,,,back to her place ...and bingo......anyways she started all the nonesense again so i told her what i thought about how she disrespected my time and me as a person and went straight into no contact and its been 5 weeks now [ today ] . i was out friday night walked in a bar and she was sat there with her girlfriend i heard her say oh my god as i got to the door.......i walked right past and never looked at her.

i got me and the wingmans beer and went to the other side of the bar very shortly after she came past to go to the toilet.....she looked very sheepish and said hi to me .....all night i made sure i had my back to her while talking to some girls i knew , and my buddy had been watching all night what my ex had been doing.....he told me she had been looking around a corner where she was stood looking over ....she even had her friend doing the same. i never looked in her direction at all....i was determined not to look in any way.

now my point is this i too have made stupid mistakes by telling this girl how i felt.....[ very big mistake on my part ] i am truly more angry at myself than her in some ways. but once a girl has made her silly little mind up and talked everthing over with her crazy friends as well by the way - there is very little you can do other than be as polite as possible given the situation and then walk away....

begging , pleading , crying , texting , all this type of thing never and i repeat never works or very rarely . all it does is make the women dig her heals in even more . and makes us look stupid and weak.

now if your girl had a high attraction towards you , then things went sideways for whatever reason and she wont have anything to do with you.....the only power you have left is to delete her number be polite and walk away and go take care of your mission in life , but under no circumstances take crap from a woman . as the old saying goes silence is golden and i believe that sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt , but if an ex comes back i believe its very hard to forget what has gone on in the past , plus the trust issues are sometimes a big problem , or just the fact that some guys just cant forget the s--t that some women put us through.

anyway good luck with everything.

Thanks man. I just wished I've came across her like this as well so I could act this way.
But there's zero chance of this happening. And since I talked too damn much, even sent her a 3 pages long email, which she showed to ALL of her friends, theres no chance she will ever come to me for a closure, considering I already gave it to her, and it made it easier for her to move on!

I hate myself for being so anxious

 

[zekko]

On another issue to remember, guys who fall for this type of women, are generally outgoing, but insecure, with self esteem issues. Which can translate to = Anyone in this forum. (You might be cool now, but you just got here because you were clueless and afraid)

Interesting, I've never heard this. Is this your theory or have you heard this somewhere? Anyway, if true, it could be the reason why I've never dated a borderline, or even been attracted to one that I can recall. Because I have an introvert personality type. I don't see this as a weakness though, since I find strength in solitude and independence.

BPD behavior is pretty much the exact opposite of what I find attractive - in fact, I find it repulsive. I don't have much tolerance for drama in my life.

Anyway, I will say this: You don't have to be dating a borderline to get dumped.

 

[Contrails]

That's a good link, I have reread it three times now. It really helps soothe the pain. The biggest lesson I learnt, listen to the gut instincts. I had mine screaming at me that something was off and she was upto something, but I ignored it and I paid the price!