Tired of ONS

[Just_In]

Hi guys,

Long time lurker here. I am 20 years old and I never really had troubles with girls. Got plenty of pvssy and all, but lately I've been wanting a relationship more than anything. It's kinda hard for me to shake off the habit of how I used to treat girls and been trying to show I am relationship material but it doesn't seem to work.

Where girls used to chase me, they now seem to be running from me. I don't get it!!

How am I showing I am relationship material? I ask them out on a regular basis - like once or twice a week - Show interest in what they're doing. I don't act clingy or needy. But I am getting responses from "Should ve told u, I already have a bf" to "I am not looking for a relationship" WTF??? Are they all of a sudden playing hard to get or what??

 

[Cinamon]

Are you going for women you have interests in common with, or just random women. unfortunately if a guy is too eager this can be off putting, equally if a guy has had a number of ONS then girls just think he is trying to say all the right things t get her in to bed. If you really like someone, start of as friends and see where it evolves to from there.

Good luck.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

This is a good question. After being a player for a while , you'll give the vibe that you just want a night with her. Most of the girls want just one night when they go in the club and if you spread the vibe that youll keep calling them and try for relationship , they freak out.

So , try to like a women and appreciate her more. Have a couple dates with her before trying to make any kind of report. Also , maybe you should tone down the game a little bit. Don't overgame. Just chill and run more comfort game.

 

[Just_In]

Thanks guys. You both made good comments.

I think Daddy The Pimp made a very good point about girls in clubs, because that's where I mainly do my picking up. You think I should stay away from clubs for a while?

I'm having a hard time maintaining friendships with girls since they seem to be so irrational most of the time. Most of them have severe jealousy and insecurity issues which seems strange to me in a friendship. I used to just walk away from this but I'll try and get through it next time.

Just one more question: if a girl initiates intimicy before you have been on a couple of dates, should I just hold back?

 

[comic_relief]

I have never had a problem with women at all. ONS or LTRs. The problem with guys that usually have ONS is that they are usually @$$holes and treat the girls, not necessarily badly but with that c0cky funny attitude that we all love.

Sure, most girls LOVE the @$$holes, but you need that balance in that relationship to make a truly long lasting relationship.

The girl that I am currently interested in had a discussion like this:
Me: "Girls love the @$$holes."
Her: "yeah they do. You are a great @$$hole."
Me: "I know, I got a good balance between being an @$$hole and being a nice guy."
Her: "Yeah, you are sexy because of that. If you are too much of an @$$hole women will throw you away after having sex with you. If you are too nice to the woman, then she thinks that you are a pvssy."
Me: "yeah, well lets just hope that I don't do that to you!"
Her: "Well, I'm already falling for you and have wanted to date you for over a year and a half, but you have always been in a relationship during that time."
Me: "Got me now." *goes back to making out*

Truer words were neverspoken by a woman.

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

Thanks guys. You both made good comments.

I think Daddy The Pimp made a very good point about girls in clubs, because that's where I mainly do my picking up. You think I should stay away from clubs for a while?

I'm having a hard time maintaining friendships with girls since they seem to be so irrational most of the time. Most of them have severe jealousy and insecurity issues which seems strange to me in a friendship. I used to just walk away from this but I'll try and get through it next time.

Just one more question: if a girl initiates intimicy before you have been on a couple of dates, should I just hold back?

No im not saying to stay away from clubs. Go , pick up womens on club , arrange day 2's. Some good day 2's like cooking on your house for her or watching a movie together. If she doesn't want .. well NEXT girl.

Try to build some connections with her. Spend more time laughing , sharing stories and other kind of sh1t.

As i said before , tone down the game a little bit.

Also , when you talk to girls , think of her as someone who you could love. This way youll give another vibe and they will respond differently.

About that question :
No , do what you gotta do but then have a good breakfast with her , get in deeper conversations and make her like you more and invest on you spiritually not just sexually.



It might be a little difficult to switch from a sex beast to a boyfriend material but you will do it in a short time by crashing&burning.

 

[Just_In]

Thanks for the advice guys. Really appreciate it.

@ comic relief: You got me thinking. I never really figured I was being an a$$hole with girls but I'm beginning to think that maybe I am. I'll see if I need to work on that.

@ DTP: I tried to take it to 2nd dates before but that didn't work well. Maybe I just do need to tone down a little and have a little more laughs with girls when I meet them.. Be a little 'nicer' maybe

Thanks again.

 

[Just_In]

--double--

 

[Captain]

This happens to most men who are good with women eventually. They end up wanting to settle down, and they lose their mojo. Now, settling down doesn't kill their game, their mindset does.

Long time lurker here. I am 20 years old and I never really had troubles with girls. Got plenty of pvssy and all, but lately I've been wanting a relationship more than anything.

Where girls used to chase me, they now seem to be running from me. I don't get it!!

You are trying to be relationship material. You don't go looking for a relationship, a relationship just evolves out of something casual. When you are trying to achieve one specific goal (getting into a relationship), you act a certain way, and it is hurting your progress.

How am I showing I am relationship material? I ask them out on a regular basis - like once or twice a week - Show interest in what they're doing. I don't act clingy or needy.

Showing too much interest. This is exactly how men screw up in relationships. You do not act different in a relationship compared to casual dating and the initial attraction.

But I am getting responses from "Should ve told u, I already have a bf" to "I am not looking for a relationship" WTF??? Are they all of a sudden playing hard to get or what??

Lack of interest, lack of attraction. You need to concentrate on attracting them, rather than trying to be "relationship material."

It's kinda hard for me to shake off the habit of how I used to treat girls and been trying to show I am relationship material but it doesn't seem to work.

It doesn't work becuse you're being a nice guy by trying to be "relationship material." Keep doing what works. Once you've got them chasing you again, you can start a relatonship (and keep doing what used to work.)

 

[comic_relief]

Captain gave GOOD advice, don't try to go into this @$$ backwards

comic_relief

 

[Daddy The Pimp]

You are trying to be relationship material. You don't go looking for a relationship, a relationship just evolves out of something casual.

WOW.

Lol great sentence man. Thanks .. Ill use it on a thread and ill give you some credit .

Edit: Here it is , the thread .
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1569436#post1569436

 

[Just_In]

God I feel like such a dumba$$! I turned from being good to AFC-ish.

'If it ain't broke then don't try to fix it' comes to mind.

It almost killed my confidence! I'm gonna go back to just enjoying girls and if something evolves, it will evolve. If not, fine, next!

Thanks again guys, esp. Captain.