Tired of clingy girl

[Ambition Now]

Alright, here is the case:

Currently spinning 2 plates

Plate 1 - The one i am most attracted to, also date another guy and i am ok with that. Since i was starting to fell that I was competing for her attention with the other guy, I started to give more attention to plate 2

Plate 2 - We started to hang out and she got me into a really good work with her wich was great for my carreer, since we were working together for a few weeks we got closer and was a great opportunity to give less attention to plate 1.

The issues:

Plate 1 is getting real jeallous with all that, i dont know, maybe its a good thing...

Plate 2 is starting to get waaaaaaaaay too clingy, she calls me every f.cking day, text me and send emails all the time, when its monday she is already making plans to hang out with me on the weekend.

When I say I already have plans for the weekend she always want to join me in wathever the sh.t I am going to do.

A few days ago a great friend of mine wich I know from like 15 years came to visit me since he lives in other city, the f.cking girl insisted to hang out with me and my friend and I got really pissed because all I wanted was to have a few beers with my buddy, I said it to her and she was like texting me like every 30 minutes that I was hanging out with my friend asking me if I was having fun and those kind of s.it...

I dont want to come as rude or have no consideration with her because she has done some really nice things for me and it would probably make her more attracted to me... but she is starting to f.cking piss me off with this clingyness.

I dont want to cut her out of my life because i really do enjoy hanging out with her sometimes, but this b.tch really need to get a life of her own!!!

Seriously, all I want right now is to just stay at home or just hang out with my guys friends.

So, whats is the best advice on this case?
Probably a lot of guys here had to deal with that sh.t, so how would you guys act on this situation?

Thank you

 

[handle]

When she sends all these messages and e-mails, are you responding to all of them? Just answer the ones you want to answer and don't bring up all the other ones. The way I usually handle this (never had any girl as clingy as THAT but similar things happen) is by completely not answering if I'm out doing something on my own, and not bringing up what my plans are unless it explicitly comes up in a conversation. It's only after the fact that I'll say "yeah I just had some one-on-one time with my buddy the other night."

 

[Ambition Now]

Yep handle, thats what I am starting to do now, but seems like the more I ignore her the more she tries to fight to get my attention back to her...
She knows about plate 1 and she seems that she feels like she has to win my attention from plate 1 at all costs...
Like ive said before, i dont want to cut her out of my life. I just want her to be the way she used to be when I first started to hang out with her...

 

[Kevin Feng]

I understand the inherent problem here, but I don't really understand the difficulty in addressing it.

Girls get clingy all the time, which is great, because it says that your value is greater than hers, this is how hot chicks feel about most guys, pretty empowering sh*t yeah?

Anyway, just ignore her, simple as that, just tell her that your friend is coming in for the night and you're only going to be hanging out with him, just don't respond to her texts and say your busy, simple as that no?

Plus, that only increases her attraction towards you when you ignore her like that.

 

[slaog]

Girls get clingy all the time, which is great, because it says that your value is greater than hers, this is how hot chicks feel about most guys, pretty empowering sh*t yeah?

I'd even suggest that the feeling is multiplied for women because its very un-manly.


OP you need to have a talk with the girl. If its starting to annoy you and effect your happiness you need to do something about it. And its not being impolite to tell somebody that you're not happy with their behaviour.


Does she know she is a plate?

 

[Ambition Now]

Thank you for your input on this, she knows that she is a plate but she feels like she can get me into an exclusive relationship.

 

[Allurre]

If she gets overtly clingy, don't submit yourself easily to her or feel guilty that you're preventing her encounters.

Just live life the way YOU want it. Her interest level is still high regardless, just ensure that you keep contact in moderation. Eventually, she'll stop bugging you if her sanity permits.

 

[speakeasy]

Man can I relate to this. I was seeing a clingy/needy girl for about a year and had to break things off a few months ago as it was just too much. Thing is, she's a really cool chic, but doesn't understand well the dynamics of ATTRACTION and that acting clingy and too available will push the other person away. And for me, what really pissed me off was her inviting herself along to stuff I was going to do with others. And the whole asking what you are doing every day for the weekend way in advance. That stuff drives me nuts. I can't be with a clingy girl because I'm a very aloof non-needy personality myself.