Tired of being class clown.

[jd782]

Ok, I'm having a dilemma. I'll be turning 31 on Aug 23. All of my life I've kind of been the class clown. This was ok in high school. But now, its getting a bit old. I'm not so much a joker, as someone people like to tease. I'm a quiet guy, so I guess that's a reason to poke fun at someone. I can dish it out as much as I can take it. But at my age, I feel women dont respect the guy everyone pokes fun at. I feel they look at it as being weak. Even though its all in good fun.

Ok, here's another problem. When I decide to be serious. I come across as super cold and distant. People say they could tell I was upset. And I wear all black all the time anyway. And I usually look upset. Even though I'm not.

What should I do? I dont always want to be the class clown. But I dont want to scare people away when I'm being serious. Anyone been through this yourselves?

 

[Brainman]

being quiet is no reason to poke fun at you. People probably do so because they don't understand you and poking fun makes them more comfortable with themselves. People are bastards that way You have to be above it. Putting others down, or "dishing it out" isn't attractive, as, often, putting others down is a sign of low self-esteem. It's a cycle and you can choose to break it. I think if you do, then the ladies will take notice. Just my two cents.

-BM

 

[iveyleeger]

I was very aloof, cold, etc., but did not act like a clown, so nobody ever made fun of me. I intimidated a lot of people, actually, which was often to my advantage. So first thing I'd say is stop clowing. Don't feel like you have to put everyone at ease. You don't. You have a lot of power when they are not at ease. It's called "presence." Use it.

Now, for women and people that you decide to bring into your cicle, develop a "dry" sense of humor. That is, you can't change your face, but you can change what you say. You may look serious, but you say something clever, and after a moment, they get it. It actually has a lot more comic impact like that with the straight delivery. Since these people were previously a bit intimidated, they were nervous, they get a bigger kick out of your jokes, it's a release.

The drawback is that some people won't like you now. Let me rephrase that. They will hate you. They will resent your presence. Previously, they controlled you by your desire to be liked. They waited for you to break first, and do something "funny". Now you don't dance, and you've removed their control. In my experience alpha females will be the most intolerant, followed by passive-aggressive men who are jealous.

I would say, let them hate you. Your attempt to be liked by everyone is your downfall. Everyone likes a clown, he makes them feel superior; nobody respects him. Stop trying to put everyone at ease, and get some respect, and instead of class clown, you'll be class president.

 

[libre]

Why do you wear black all the time? You must look like the odd man out so you are treated like one. You are creating the situation.

Blend in and go with the flow or else you will be treated like an outcast. Dress like everybody else and put a smile on your face.

 

[MacDiddy]

Get new friends and a new social circle... avoid them for a long period of time....

Act more mature!!!!
PROBLEM SOLVED....

Being a class clown is like being in LJBF land... very difficult to get out... you need to next these people...

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Even though you may be more intelligent than the next person or the social circle. It is better to conform/blend in than stick out. You can keep your true self in private or revealing it a little to others.