Tips on Women

[CaliRIP]

Here are some tips fellow alpha males!

Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.

A hotie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately knows how she will feel going places with you and showing you off to her friends. If you don’t look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can’t take a chance on you.

She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That’s how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why? Because then you will understand her. Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what’s important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that’s already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can move right in and start showing it off to their friends.

Make sense right?

There’s one other little secret about shoes that no one else knows, but I’ll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.

She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are. Shoes are basically the clothing analog to good grooming. Just like your body, shoes need to be maintained to look good.

It takes a bit of care and patience to keep good shoes looking great, and that says a lot about how you take care of yourself… and… you guessed it. How well you take care of others in your life as well.

She’s thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she’s also thinking «will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?» Guess which one she’s gonna pick if you’re wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?

Handling Rejection

Don’t Take it Personally

In many cases, the so-called rejection may have nothing to do with you at all.

For instance, someone may reject your advances because you remind them of someone from their past (not your fault), they are having a career crisis (not your fault) or are dealing with some other pressing personal issue that they elect not to explain (again, not your fault).

"I really liked this guy and we dated a couple of times before he told me he didn’t have time for me. I felt awful," says Jess. "I ran into him a year later and he told me that his father had been sick with cancer — he later died — and all this was happening when we had first met," she says. "I had thought he just wasn’t interested in me but the truth was that it had nothing to do with me."

Silence your Inner Child

The Inner Child often overreacts and feels the whole world has turned thumbs down and that true love will never come (insert high-pitched wail here). Our adult selves know this is simply not true yet the words of our Inner Child ring in our ears.

Recover from rejection by silencing your Inner Child and reminding yourself that ‘never’ is not a realistic concept. To get yourself back on track, try making a list of all the people in your life who do love you and let the sting of rejection melt away.

Don’t Let it Rattle You

Don’t let a negative response shake your confidence. "If I didn’t get a second date with a guy, I’d spend literally days running through out first meeting wondering what I did to put him off," says Sue.

"One day I had a revelation: You can’t be everyone’s idea of a perfect match, so it’s only natural that you will have first dates that don’t eventuate into second ones. And that’s fine. If we all met the man of our dreams the first time, there would be no single people and there are lots of single people out there…"

Think of It as a Favor

If your first or second date didn’t turn into something more, in some ways you should be thankful. It may be uncomfortable to hear, but getting a firm, clear-eyed grasp on incompatibility early rather than later is a huge time-saving plus. The early brush-off allows you to chalk it up to experience and move on.

Turn It into a Positive

Sounds cheesy but you can make rejection work as a motivator for self-improvement. "Knock-backs aren’t fun, that’s for sure," says Phil, "But if I get a ‘no’ from someone I was interested in,

I always use the opportunity to work on myself — do a course, work out more at the gym, go on a health kick, that sort of thing. I figure if I am the best I can be that I will find the best person for me. And if it takes a few ‘nos’ to get there, so be it."

Don’t Dwell on It

Sometimes the fact that we have been rejected is so painful and all-consuming that it becomes the only thing we talk about. Friends hear how badly we’ve been treated or listen patiently to our complaints that we will never find true love.

Other singles rally around us offering rejection anecdotes, all of which seem to confirm our worst fears — that there are no decent men/women left and we will never find Mr/Ms Right.

Get a grip. Turn this apparent catastrophe into a chance to make a change. Get back online, update that profile and optimistically look toward the future.

 

[CaliRIP]

You as a human being are in a remarkable position. Have you ever considered how wild it truly is that out of six billion plus human beings just like you on this planet, you will only ever see light through the eyes of one of them? You are confined to your own physical being, at least as far as the laws of physics apply in this life. The metaphysics of all this are, of course, a subject better suited to some other article that is not about dating and relationships. Fair enough.

But since we are focused like a laser on your total, utter and massive success in the dating world-up to and including complete control over your dating life - you’d best believe that there is tremendous value in exploring this concept more deeply from a certain perspective.

So many of us artificially limit ourselves from believing that we can possibly deserve the kind of partner we want. Going way beyond “approach anxiety“…going way beyond “getting beat by a girl” and indeed way beyond anything you’ve ever heard from me until now, it can be safely assumed that much of the problem is directly attributable to how you see yourself vs. how you see others.

Here’s what I mean.

Since you know every intimate detail of your own thoughts, fears and weaknesses-as well as your strengths, of course-you know all of your own darkest secrets. Every imperfection, every prurient thought, every doubt and indeed-every single blasted thing that would cause you humiliating embarrassment if others knew.

Armed with this knowledge, what do you do? You go out and become completely disarmed by a “beautiful” and apparently “perfect” creature of the opposite gender. In your mind, he or she is flawless.

Then comes the vortex of self-doubt. “Oh man…I could never be in her league. She’s a veritable vision of perfection…and I can’t even get into an elevator without feeling claustrophobic, come from a foreign country, need a haircut, have a big nose, have spring allergies, say stupid things when nervous, chew my toenails in private and once cheated on a math test.”

So once again you talk yourself out of being successful.

Erstwhile, your “vision of perfection” is inside her own state of being thinking, “Girl…get yourself together! Your panty lines are showing, you have stupid looking ears, are habitually late for work, snort when you laugh, have two crooked teeth and wear contact lenses. No wonder you’ve been dateless for a month now!”

Crazy stuff, isn’t it? If only we could see inside each other’s heads. Better yet, if only we could read the thoughts of others regarding us.

Well, you can’t do that, but here are two simple exercises you can do:

Eliminate private knowledge as a “limiting factor” and take notes regarding how others respond to you

First and foremost, realize that your private thoughts are not public. Nobody else can evaluate you by them, so stop using them against yourself. They do not exist in the minds of others because they cannot. Next, consider the comments you receive from people. Where you hear patterns repeated time and again it’s time to believe what you are hearing. If pointing to ways you can better yourself, do so and deserve what you want. If you hear recurring positive comments and/or see recurring positive reactions to your presence and/or interactions, begin to recognize the truly positive manner in which others perceive you. This sounds so simplistic, yet how many of us go home and obsess over self-perceived “negatives” that we are repeatedly told are positives? If you think I must be kidding, actively begin to look for clues in your social life where you have previously been oblivious. Note the patterns that you detect, and trust them.

Pretend you are walking in the shoes of someone you find attractive

Okay, here’s the “power ball”. Ready? My guess is that when you encounter someone who really motors your sexual attraction levels, that person is actually more “perfectly imperfect” than “perfect”. The next time you are practically paralyzed by attraction towards someone, I want you pretend for a moment that you were that person instead of yourself. In your darkest, most self-critical thoughts, what would you be most self-conscious about? Go ahead and in your blind attraction make an effort to approach that concept with sober judgment. You will likely identify an entire litany of faults and potential attitudes that would make him or her very insecure, at least theoretically. Ironically, you may find yourself recognizing traits and/or features that some people may be self-critical about but which are at the same time exactly what is making you so hot for this person. It’s strange for sure. But it is an eye opener.

What we’re really exposing here is a dark corner of human arrogance. We somehow believe that our own self-pronounced judgments both against ourselves and for others somehow carry greater weight than everyone else’s, don’t we? That’s exactly what ends up limiting us, yet really yours or mine is only one of over six billion different perspectives-be it towards ourselves or others. For once, give yourself the gift of seeing things from the point of view of other people. Do so and enjoy the shock when you finally do meet someone who knocks you out…and you realize very quickly as you get to know him or her that many of the insecurities you saw from their potential perspective are actually actively present in theirs. And feel the power and joy of being able to share with that person what others-namely you-see instead. How cool is that?


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Alright, so now you are mad confident, you walk the walk, you talk the talk (a bit), and you are ready to be a lady killer, right? Not so fast bud. Relaxed confidence will get you far – farther than anything else I’m going to teach you – but if you want to really make it work, you need to refine it.

Think of hunting. Going out exuding relaxed confidence is like spraying the field with buck shot. Sure, you’ll hit a lot of targets – it sure beats a slingshot – and you might even bring some down, but it’s not the most effective method.

You want a sniper rifle. You want to focus your efforts to a high degree, and take careful aim. You want to focus your relaxed confidence to make it more powerful.

What do I mean? I don’t mean you want to focus yourself on one woman – early on, that’s extremely counter-productive – but I mean you should present your relaxed confidence in the most attractive, powerful way there is. Playful.

You don’t only want a woman’s respect, you want her having fun. You don’t only want admiration, you want magnetism. You shouldn’t stop at being a powerful figure, you need to be an attractive one. And being playful does all this.

Ok, let’s get to the good stuff. How do you create this great atmosphere? This may be surprisingly easy. In fact, you probably do this all the time. Think about it: how often do you rag on your friends? How often do you press their buttons, or just share laughs about funny or strange stuff?

Uh huh, I thought so. All the freaking time. Well, that’s all you’ve gotta do. Most guys, when they find an attractive woman, they turn into vanilla inoffensive blah men who just hope they won’t say the wrong thing.

Guess what? That is exactly the wrong thing. You may think you’re being nice, but women will sniff your abnormal behavior a mile away. To them, it feels like a lie. It feels like you’re just interested in getting in her pants. You’ve started to chase her – so you shouldn’t be surprised when she starts to run away.

Treat her like one of the fellas, and you’ll avoid that whole creepy pick-up feel. You won’t activate her defenses, and you’ll foster comfort. From there, you need to be fun.

Tease. This is huge. It shows you aren’t intimidated by her, and it keeps your conversation light and playful. You might even get her taking the half-truth theory of comedy to heart, and trying to impress you.

Don’t show her too much attention, either. If you’re in a group, feel free to ignore her now and again. She might try to spark your attention by flirting with other guys.

Let her. You know that it’s you she’s after, and she’s just trying to get a rise out of you. Don’t give it to her. In fact, tease her about that. “Wow, you’re so in love and intimidated by me, the only way you can communicate is by trying to make me jealous? You know, that would work… if I was in middle school.”

Have fun with it. In fact, that’s what makes this so easy – you will know immediately whether you’re on the right track or not by how much fun YOU are having. If you’re feeling stress, it’s not working. If you’re having a laugh, things are good.

Right before you approach a woman close your eyes and make the same motion. Trigger that relaxation in yourself like a Pavlovian dog salivating at a bell. It’s incredibly silly and works incredibly well. Then, just let yourself have fun.

If you don’t think of yourself as a naturally funny person, believe it or not, you can learn humor. The biggest thing is pointing out absurdities. Teasing. Teasing. Don’t be mean, but don’t be shy either. If she asks you to do something, say to her friends (playfully) “Is she always this pushy? Man, how do you put up with her?” If her dancing is atrocious, say (sarcastically) “I see we have a new Lord of the Dance!” When she asks for your number, say “Boy, you work fast. I barely know you! Let me guess, you’re just looking for fresh body to stalk and it doesn’t even matter who I am. Well, I am more than just a body! I am a complex combination of experiences, emotions, and thoughts…here, don’t call before 6 pm, I need my beauty sleep.”

 

[Fallen]

That's brilliant advice. Thx Bro. I'll keep that "thoughts not public" thing in mind.

 

[squirrels]

What website did you take this from?

 

[Bonafide]

Just remember, your thoughts become your actions ^