Tips on spotting the female narcissist...

[jnMissouri]

She can have a lot of female friends AND a harem of backup boyfriends. The two are not mutually exclusive.


This describes practically every woman. Victim mentality is deeply ingrained. From personal experience, I can think of only one or two instances where a woman actually admitted that failed relationship with an ex was her fault.

Good list otherwise. I would add that if a woman says (unprompted) that she's not a narcissist, she is most definitely a narcissist.

Every woman that ever told me she was not a cheater turned out to be a cheater. I had three gf's that said that, when grilled about their past, but I did sleuthing, tracked down someone from their past and got the truth and thankfully bailed within months of the relationship starting.

 

[jnMissouri]

Unfortunately setting boundaries with them dont work. I know many Psychologist advocate establishing them with Narcissist, but the simply truth is they dont care and will keep trying and trying until they get what they want. Its an endless game with them.
Narcissist are the game, playing woman or men is narcissistic in itself.
They dont care and still violate them until to a point where you get angry and are seen as the bad guy, especially because many People are blind in seeing the truth behind it

What they often do is try to wear you down. They'll pick a moment of vulnerability like I went through recently to leave, reach out during no contact and try to change the terms of the relationship. Thankfully I've been through some real BS in life and I'm holding strong. Frankly, if the ***** never contacts me again, I'll be better off. The last **** that did that to me, attempting to manipulate me, I replaced her with a girl nearly two decades younger. But I will say she did look a lot younger than her age, the previous ex. So while most of the women in OLD are middle aged, there are some younger ones too and if you are selective you can get a younger one. That said, the young ones are a huge PITA, super immature, nothing but sex toys to me now.

 

[Borknagar]

Don't need tips to spot a female narcissist. It's she attractive? That's all you need to know she is.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

No bro...that's incorrect. Them being on their best behavior has nothing to do with them letting things slip or them showing the true side of themselves even if it's briefly.

For instance, any woman who treats a waiter or waitress like crap is an automatic dump for me. That's them showing you who they really are. Which is a person who treats others with no respect. That will then trickle down to you, who she will eventually treat with the same no respect. Seems minor, but it's not. It's an insight into the real them.


Little things like that are insights into the person they are. Either you aren't noticing things like that, don't know what to look for or are ignoring them because they always will be there. Nobody can hide things that well so nothing shows through...people usually simply choose to overlook those things.

I'm simply saying don't. That's her telling you who she is. Believe her.

This is only true for the more overt narcissists. There are many narcissists and cluster B types who are stealthy, calculating, and subtle.

 

[kookdekoo]

I am recently out of an LTR of almost six years. I broke it up. Here's why. ..
Initially, it was heaven on earth. She was very submissive, super fun to be with ( laughed at all my jokes ) and strangely happened to enjoy every single hobby I had too. Wanted to be constantly spending time with me. Online chatting was a lot. Terms of endearment were ample. And the sex ! It was out of this world. Gifted me a $1000 waych on my birthday. Next birthday , it was a $900 platinum ring. I took her for luxua vacations and she would talk about them for months ! The whole thing was like a drug high!
Slowly, ever so slowly , my sixth sense picked up stuff my waking brain couldn't/wouldn't. Suddenly, I wasn't as funny as before. Terms of endearment weren't forthcoming. Sex cooled perceptibly. Stopped trying to please me even in simple things like wearing my favourite dress or lingerie. My logical brain tried to put it down to we settling down into a proper relationship where things do cool after the initial rush. However , my instict kept picking up stuff like unnecessary jibes about my belly. Also how she wanted me to stop pursuing my hobbies. Reduce my golf. She also started pulling down my golfer friends by using the same information she had elicited from me gleefully. When my son scored very well in the Indian equivalent of MSAT, I was over the moon and called her to celebrate in the nearest bar. Imagine my surprise when after the initial congratulations, she wouldn't discuss the topic anymore.
Hindsight is 20-20, as they say. But it all added up to a moment of epiphany a couple of months ago. I dumped the *****.
Now that I read up on the stages of NPD, and covert narcissism, her behavior was CLASSIC . I have weathered some bad **** in my life before and have a strong core, so her crap didn't run long with me.
Sorry for the rant but damn , it feels good to have that covert narcissist out of my life !