Tips on first dates?

Grinch

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I just met a girl from tinder out at a local bar. ****ing tinder. I thought easy lay.

We chatted for a bit mostly about really simple ****, she was kinda uneasy at first but she warmed up. She said she left her wallet, I said I don't mind buying a drink, but she never took me up on the offer ... I gave her some light touches during conversation. Conversation mainly revolved around work, school, and plans for the future. Additional topics included: my past with native tradition, my plans to become a truck driver. I asked her about where she grew up, her trips outside the U.S. I threw some negs and qualifiers in there which seemed to get her more interested. There were some awkward pauses I wasn't sure how to escalate tbh, I kinda froze up at times. It all felt too friendly.

So we take a quick walk after the place closes and I go in for a kiss, and after a few seconds of kissing she ejects and says she's not with it ... I say cool so we walk back to her car, things seem a little less tense now that we know how it will end, she pulls out a weed pen but I decline (can't for job) and we part ways. I know I didn't spike her emotions enough ... conversation was too friendly.

You got any advice to naturally escalate?
 

GrowingPains

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Keep practicing and forcing yourself out of your comfort zone. Nothing is gonna feel 'natural' because you don't have enough experience.

Watch a few videos. Read a few posts on kino. But just keep at it.

it probably felt unnatural because you aren't used to doing it. The more you do it, the more natural it'll feel. 50 girls later and you're kino'ing on autopilot. For now, try not to make a big deal when you 'do something wrong'. If you wear it on your sleeve, she'll notice and it'll make her feel weird. Try your best to roll with the punches. Fake it till you make it.

 

EyeBRollin

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Without going through every mistake, your issue is your mindset is all messed up. Your more concerned with getting in her pants than getting a second date. Let’s correct that part first. The key to getting a second date is to be a gentleman, ask open ended questions, and make her laugh. Negs and Kino is all PUA bull**** that will eventually get you arrested for sexual harassment.
 

Espi

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You got any advice to naturally escalate?
Your words and actions at the outset of the date will likely determine whether you get action at the end of the date.

First impressions are huge. Stand up when she enters the bar; smile, make eye contact, initiate a hug, thank her for meeting you, then invite her to have a seat. All of those things occur in the span of just a few seconds but they will go a long way in making a hell of a nice first impression.

I personally always feel like I KNOW, within the first few minutes, which ones are gonna kiss me at the end of the date. I have arranged to meet many women at bars via online dating sites so I have a lot of experience, but experience isn't as valuable as my making a great first impression. I like to think that my hottest, most successful 1st dates stem from the impression I make in the first few minutes.

After that, I recommend listening 80%, speaking 20%, asking questions about her, and embracing long/awkward pauses. See if she's willing to revive the conversation. Don't talk much about yourself. Let her ask about you.

Also (and this is my personal opinion): stop using "negs". Most aspiring DJs confuse negs for downright insults. No matter how slick we think we are, they KNOW we want to fvuck them, so there's no need to comment on her fake nails. The best negs you'll ever use will likely be unintended/uncalculated. Best to say nothing at all and just listen, or ask something about her.
 
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markfromeurope

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Straight neg-hits are CHAD/bad boy weapons.

If you are not the one it needs to be a very mild/jokingly said ****y&funny neg.

Otherwise woman will think you have no manners.
 

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