Tips on challenge!?

[Wynston]

Hi guys,

I've read so much about how being a challenge to girls is key to keeping their interest levels high, but I haven't had much experience of this.

Could you guys tell me different ways of becoming a challenge as one of the only ones I use is not texting back for ages which kinda works.. But I'd appreciate it if you guys could let me know some other ways of becoming a challenge!!!

Cheers fellas!

 

[Igetit!]

When people say to be a "challenge",what they mean is not to be easy.
You NEVER,EVER,want her to think that you are completely won over.
I have a good analogy for this. Let's say that you have two teams getting ready to play a basketball game against each other. One team is already on the court,they're pumped up,ready to go,and waiting for the other team to come out on the court. Then the other team comes out,sees the first team,and they are so afraid,so intimidated,that they just give up. They forfeit. So,now that they have forfeited,the other team is declared the winner. Now,although the first team "technically" has won,and they are the winners,do you really want to win like that? I mean,you have the trophy,you have the title and everything,but it required no effort on your part. There was no "challenge",no thrill of victory,no highs and lows,no last second heroics. There was no sense of knowing you had this strong opponent trying to defeat you,but you gave it your all,you climbed the mountain,and you were the best between the two of you. You may have the trophy,but all the things that make the trophy so meaningful were not there because the other team just gave up without a fight. If you act like you are completely won over,like the only thing she has to do to win you over is simply exist,then this is what you do to the girl. If you are completely won over,there is no thrill for her,no challenge,no sense of achievement. She may have you (the trophy),but all the fire,the passion,the drive,the emotions,that should come with winning the trophy won't be there. And then what happens? She'll get bored and start looking around for someone else who can generate feelings and emotions in her. So keep her on her toes,switch up routines,be unpredictable.

 

[abcd_z]

It's not a tactic, it's an attitude. Place a high value on yourself and challenge her to live up to your expectations.

Also, not contacting her is very limited in scope. As soon as you're done on the phone with her, other things occupy her time. Her impression of you fades, as does whatever her emotional state was at the time.

 

[Wynston]

Love the analogy.... Puts it in a new perspective.. Yeah I know the texting thing is pretty lame..

Some things I do is I disagree with her but playfully, or if she says something like I'm not speaking to you, I'll just be silent or just go along with it.. Am I on the right track here, I'm trying to keep it playful so that really she knows i'm just kiddin her and winding her up... I just dont wanna come across as if I'm not interested.. Dont get me wrong any chance I get I'll take the mickey out of her and be ****y and funny and get her laughing.. But is this challenge or is challenge more like kinda not doin what she wants??

 

[abcd_z]

Yeah, being a challenge is mostly about not giving up your power to her. As long as you're doing that, you should be fine.

****y & playful is a good combination, sounds like it's working for you.

Her: "I'm not talking to you."
You: "Really? Promise? Hey, that means I can say whatever I want, and you can't respond! Ooooh. I'm not touching you! Neener neener!" (Be really silly here, like a child might)

 

[Wynston]

Yeah it is kinda working to the point where she will call me soo vain or something that kinda gives me some status over her.. So we had quite a serious conversation yesterday about where are we goin n all that I was serious at that point and told her I like things the way they are, keeping it light and playful I stayed away from any heavy words like relationship but I was serious when she wanted me to be.. should I have been more of a challenge and said something like
Her : what is happening with "us"?
me: nothing unless you give me that massage

or something funny

but i had a serious moment and just said what I felt, she was fine about it, maybe its a good thing she knows i can be serious...hmmm any thoughts??

 

[Sandow]

Never ask to be exclusive. She should be the one to bring it up. Always. its gonna drive her crazy if you show that you dont wanna take the relationship to the next level.

Also, great analogy. But remember not be too much of a challenge. If she's not gaining ground on you, or you guys aren't getting any closer, she'll give up and go somewhere else. This is where Push/Pull is so important. two steps forward, one step back, and repeat. Your being a challenge, yet she's gaining some ground on you. that way your making it interesting.

 

[Wynston]

Ok so when you 2 steps forward do you mean give her some affection and or compliments... and then step back and kinda take the mickey out of her or generally be a little bit awkward and dont listen and then repeat again... is that about right??

Thanks guys!!

 

[Sandow]

Right. Two steps forward is like giving a compliment, being nice, opening the door, etc. And then 1 step back (just one step!) would be more of a tease. Nothing harsh here, she needs to know ur joking. Something like "Are you always this dorky? See, that's why we could never date " then you can go back to saying something like "wow we actually have a lot in common, see thats why i like you, your smart, funny, witty." Then later come u can interrupt her and say "you know you're allright...I dont care what they say about you."

See, all this gives her mixed signals. Your basically mindfcking her, and they love it b/c they haven't figured you out. Also your being unpredictable and a challenge. But remember its more like 4 steps forward, 1 step back. Girls are sensitive so you can't be too harsh or insulting, so easy on it. LOL I've made that mistake in the past. I think too many guys go overboard on this, so go easy on it.

 

[Wynston]

Yeah, think I've made the mistake of being too insulting, espscially by text message... Ive realised that they cant really tell if you are joking and that may create resentment!