I am so lucky to have found this treasure trove of a forum. It has seriously helped me through one of the hardest times of my life. As many of you know I have recently divorced a woman with which I was married to for 14 years of my life. She took the kids, got half of the assets, child support, blah blah... I was butt raped through divorce court just like every other man. She also was cheating on me before the divorce and already had the other man set up so once the divorce was finalized she would fall directly into his arms. So that's the back story.
FIRST - It is going to hurt, and you are going to grieve at first. Your whole life is going to turn upside down on itself because you are used to only doing what you do, which is being a family man, or married man. You're going to be down on yourself, asking why, blah blah.. Do not worry, it gets better, much better... but definitely grieve like a little b!tch for a week or two, lol. There is nothing you can do during this time period.
SECOND - Immediately hit the d@mned gym. Just do it and don't ask why. It literally burns stress off while you do it, and the side affect is that you will start building a body that will soon rival that of a gods if you keep it up. Serious boost in self esteem. Weight lifting, with some cardio thrown in for your heart. Eat healthy and you will be on your way. Also, keep busy with other things. Study, go back to school, take dance lessons, rock cimbing, etc.. I don't care just make your schedule busy as hell. DO NOT SIT ON THE COUCH AND WATCH TV LIKE A DOUCHE.
THIRD - Get back out on the scene as soon as possible, the sooner the better. The reason I say this is you get to start practicing socializing immediately and the more you practice the better you get. However, I just mean socializing in general. Get your social circle built back up. Start making guy friends and also practice talking to women. You will mess up in the beginning when talking to women, so just know this ahead of time and learn from it. I messed up big time talking to the first two girls, lol. I forgot how to game and had to relearn the basic rules here. After a while everything just starts to flow without even thinking about it. However, the main thing is learn the concepts here, but apply them to your own personality or you will be a lame @ss. Personalize the rules to suit your character, and bam, your on your way. Before you know it your phone will just be blowing the hell up with the ladies asking what you will be doing on this day or that day, just smile and roll with it.
FOUR - SPIN PLATES - this is coming from number three. Go and get yourself some ladies and have fun with them, spin those plates. The more ladies you have, the less you will think about your ex and will not give a damn what the hell she is doing. Once you reach that stage, when you go weeks without even thinking of the ex, you are good to go. You will also see how rotten of a b!tch she was and will actually want to write a thank you letter to the man who took her from you for improving your quality of life so much. He will now have to deal with her sh!t, not you.
So, this is where I stand right now and I am having the best time of my life. It is incredible. I have no advice to give on LTR because as of right now I am just enjoying the companionship of people in general. If they ask about what I am looking for relationship wise, I say exactly this. I am not looking, just enjoying everyone's company. Basically I just wanted to share what worked for me the most to make my life the best it has ever been. It is simple, but hope it helps someone.
FIRST - It is going to hurt, and you are going to grieve at first. Your whole life is going to turn upside down on itself because you are used to only doing what you do, which is being a family man, or married man. You're going to be down on yourself, asking why, blah blah.. Do not worry, it gets better, much better... but definitely grieve like a little b!tch for a week or two, lol. There is nothing you can do during this time period.
SECOND - Immediately hit the d@mned gym. Just do it and don't ask why. It literally burns stress off while you do it, and the side affect is that you will start building a body that will soon rival that of a gods if you keep it up. Serious boost in self esteem. Weight lifting, with some cardio thrown in for your heart. Eat healthy and you will be on your way. Also, keep busy with other things. Study, go back to school, take dance lessons, rock cimbing, etc.. I don't care just make your schedule busy as hell. DO NOT SIT ON THE COUCH AND WATCH TV LIKE A DOUCHE.
THIRD - Get back out on the scene as soon as possible, the sooner the better. The reason I say this is you get to start practicing socializing immediately and the more you practice the better you get. However, I just mean socializing in general. Get your social circle built back up. Start making guy friends and also practice talking to women. You will mess up in the beginning when talking to women, so just know this ahead of time and learn from it. I messed up big time talking to the first two girls, lol. I forgot how to game and had to relearn the basic rules here. After a while everything just starts to flow without even thinking about it. However, the main thing is learn the concepts here, but apply them to your own personality or you will be a lame @ss. Personalize the rules to suit your character, and bam, your on your way. Before you know it your phone will just be blowing the hell up with the ladies asking what you will be doing on this day or that day, just smile and roll with it.
FOUR - SPIN PLATES - this is coming from number three. Go and get yourself some ladies and have fun with them, spin those plates. The more ladies you have, the less you will think about your ex and will not give a damn what the hell she is doing. Once you reach that stage, when you go weeks without even thinking of the ex, you are good to go. You will also see how rotten of a b!tch she was and will actually want to write a thank you letter to the man who took her from you for improving your quality of life so much. He will now have to deal with her sh!t, not you.
So, this is where I stand right now and I am having the best time of my life. It is incredible. I have no advice to give on LTR because as of right now I am just enjoying the companionship of people in general. If they ask about what I am looking for relationship wise, I say exactly this. I am not looking, just enjoying everyone's company. Basically I just wanted to share what worked for me the most to make my life the best it has ever been. It is simple, but hope it helps someone.
