Youre overthinking this OP.
bluebirdseven said:
since you're a very outgoing guy and have fob exp, i'm curious bout one thing. Since you say to be more direct, do you think going FULL ALPHA on her would be effective or would it actually backfire?
So, something like:
1) walking to her, smiling cheerfully and saying "Are you joining me for lunch" or "Let's get something to eat!" (smiles)
VS
2) walking to her, straight serious face and commanding tone and ushering her and saying "Let's go for lunch."
Hate to say, but I can't pull off the full alpha style to save my life, it seems to be more for those guys who have a masculine face and commanding aura to begin with.
Dont do this.
What did we just tell you? Drop the "pickup artist" act and just be calm and confident. No need to go "full alpha", whatever that is. If you do what you just said here, she may not understand your behavior, or may just be turned off.
Shes from a different culture, shes shy, and you dont even have any rapport built with her. Randomly whisking her off to lunch I dont think works without having a little rapport built. Do something similar to what I said in my previous post.
Take an opportunity to chat it up with her, build a little rapport, and then ask her to hang out.
From what i heard and seen in asia, most fob korean/japanese guys living in korea/japan are very alpha when dealing with their own fob korean/japanese girls (the term is called male chauvinist pig i think).
Remember those 1980s japanese shows where the japanese housewife wears a kimono and obeys her husband's every whim without a complain, follows obediently behind him? Yeah, she's a little bit like that.
The thing I heard is that when these fob chicks go outside of korea/japan and meet guys from other places, they get fascinated cos' they're not used to being treated in a sweeter / more equal manner. I'm actually wondering if I should bank on this instead since the full alpha style doesn't suit me well.
Its not the 80s anymore. Male-female dynamics have changed a bit with younger Asians...though there's still traditional roles still adhered to for men and women.
Just stop overthinking this. If "full alpha" isnt you, then its not you. Just be calm and confident!
So, I take this to be like a mix between beta and alpha?
Beta+Alpha = lots of affection, sweetness, smiles and cheerfulness, tenderness, caring, and pinch her (or other naughty playful actions) when she starts to show signs of walking over you / misbehaving?
Tks!
Jeez dude, seriously...relax, take a deep breath, and slow down.
Here's my rule of thumb: reciprocation.
I dont behave in a way that the woman Im interested is not behaving. I mirror her behavior and interest level, with gradual upticks in order to lead things forward as the guy.
Just have fun and dont put too much of a front foot forward. Lead her, but dont get too far ahead of her. Worry about the affection and possible misbehavior when the situation arises. Right now your getting too much going on in your head, and you havent even gotten to hang out with this girl yet.
