"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Tip for High-schoolers

azanon

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Wanna get some easy female lovin'? Here's how I got some one night long ago:

Buy 2 tickets to whomever is the most popular group for all the chicks, but who almost no guys like - one that makes them squeel in glee - and go to it with your buddy. Next, get as close to the stage as you can so you're closest to the most fanatical ones.

Long ago, my sister had 2 tickets for a Milli Vanilli concert that she ended up not being able to go to. She asked if i wanted them. I said well sure. Anyway, went to that concert, and I was literally surrounded by women everywhere. At the close of the concert, BOTH MY FRIEND AND I were making out with different chicks I hadn't even talked to yet (because I couldn't hear with all the loud music), and we left with a group of them. Quite simply, they couldn't reach "Manilli Vanilli", but my friend and I were available.

I recall the odds being about 5000 women, and just him and I. I really have no memory of seeing any other guys there though there might have been 2 or 3 others.

Yeah I know they were fake.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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HOT_CHILLI

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ah its a tough call eh? You'll be sacrificing dignity and some cash but if you went to the jonas brothers im sure you'd get a whole lotta lovin!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Cassanova_Child

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It's-Me said:
You'll be considered gay. Maybe Britney Spears, but Jonas Brothers is pushing it too far.
THIS. pull a britney spears. not a JB or miley cyrus.
 

eaglez1177

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Please tell me you did not go to jonas brothers...please...
 

Analyzeit

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Milli Vinilli, **** thats a long time ago, yeah it is a good idea, but no concerts or anything really happen here so im outta luck
 

soadflav

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lol its like last weeks south park episode. good idea, though id rather buy tix to like a metallica concert instead
 

azanon

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It's-Me said:
You'll be considered gay. Maybe Britney Spears, but Jonas Brothers is pushing it too far.
Man, no one says you have to go tell all your buds you went there. Surely you have a close enough friend who likes women too who'd keep it secret. Hell, take a few pics with your camera phone so even if they do find out, you'll have proof that you had babes all around you and assuming you get a hook-up out of it, get a pic of that too.

All i know is that it was worth it to me. I freakin loved just all of a sudden making out with a chick I didn't even know. My (Indian) friend did too judging by the smile on his face.

Think wedding crashers. Weddings suck and aren't any fun at all. But if you can get some poon going there? Heck yeah, its worth it.

Yes, Jonas brothers is a PERFECT example. 1000s of horny girl teenagers will be there. Try to think of a better example of mass numbers of horny teenager girls and you'll probably fail.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Smack

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azanon said:
Try to think of a better example of mass numbers of horny teenager girls and you'll probably fail.
A nightclub. And there, they're all drunk and wearing revealing clothes.
 

azanon

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Smack said:
A nightclub. And there, they're all drunk and wearing revealing clothes.
Maybe in your Country. We definitely don't have any nightclubs that will have ~ 3,000 women and approximately 15 guys.
 

It's-Me

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Smack said:
A nightclub. And there, they're all drunk and wearing revealing clothes.
Better of buying a fake ID and going to a nightclub than buying a ticket for the gay brothers.
 

S.Y.L

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I'm not sure how many 16 year old girls are at nightclubs
 

Smack

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azanon said:
Maybe in your Country. We definitely don't have any nightclubs that will have ~ 3,000 women and approximately 15 guys.
The girl to guy ratio doesn't mean sh!t if you're good with girls.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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