time to leave

[comote]

Hi guys, this is a great site. In the 3.5 years since I first discovered this site I have learned a great deal. The last year or so I have found myself visiting less and less.

Many of the views hear are golden, there is a load of great advice on how to attract and keep the woman(or women) of your dreams.

That said it is time to leave, many of you will reach this point as well. Hopefully you will learn from my experience:
Shortly after I found this site I met a great girl, I just didn't realize it. This girl had no hidden agenda, she just truly loved me. She was everything I could want in a woman as well. Hot, we are talking asian porn hot, intelligent(PHD) and she would do anything for me. She laughed at most of my jokes and we rarely fought in the 2 years we were together.

I was so caught up in playing the game, being a dj, and above all not getting hurt that I never let her in. As a result I broke it off every time i felt myself getting to close. The last time I broke it off was probably one time too many.

Since then I have dated some girls but none compare. I truly am a dumba$$ and have acted like a bigger afc than all of the afc's here put together. I am still acting like a dumbass because I haven't contacted her, gotta be a challenge you see.

Guys, I know we have been hurt and it is hard, but don't always look for the bigger better deal, sometimes it just isn't going to be out there.

I know if I don't get her back I will get over her. Life goes on, I will either find someone else or I won't either way I have enough going on in my life that I will be fulfilled.

Some day I might come back, actually I hope I do, that will mean I have found someone that I am interested in. For right now though, this site is just a reminder of how I pushed a great girl away from me.

Ahh Oneitis, it's not that bad, it lets us know that we still have feelings.

 

[Squid]

Good luck with whatever you end up doing dude. It's funny tho, I read a post earlier (I think by Slickster) about how we always want the opposite: when we are in a LTR we want to play the field and vice versa. I just hope you have not simply forgotten the reasons why you originally wanted out of the relationship.

Again dude, good luck, and hopefully you will come back again over time, we all could use your good advice every now and then.

 

[Big Pappy]

Very interesting. About 15 months ago, I had a thing for a girl. She liked and respected me, but she just didn't feel it for me the way I would have liked. So, I had to stop initiating contact, reduce my availability, etc.

Then, after a year, she calls. It's very late and she asks if I'm busy.

In short, it took her three guys to go through before she realized that I was much better than they were. Fortunately, I didn't have any difficult decisions to make. She had put on 40 pounds and looked horrible. She was still very funny and very bright, but her window of opportunity had closed. (Well, not closed, but her booty is too big to get through the opening.)

My point is, don't panic! You may think that impatience or silly games kept you from a fabulous lady, but consider what
Balzac said:

“When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues”

In a nutshell, the lady either digs you or she doesn't. No amount of silly games is going to change her mind. You may be able to manipulate her behavior in the short run, but nature will win out.

Just my opinion.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

All decisions are of your own volition - take ownership of them and live without regrets!!!

 

[comote]

PR_lover, I am all about owning my own decisions, this site was just a reminder.

All that is done now though and I am back. I did quite a bit of soul searching and have realized that I want it all. I want a girl that gives me one-itis and I want to be able to get her. My ex as great as she is was never able to make me feel one-itis for her while we were together.

I have met quite a few women and many have expressed interest in me. Some of them I have even found attractive, but only lately have I met one that moves me. One that I think has the potential to make me get one-itis over her. This is why I am back.

 

[Donald Kaufman]

Trying to choose a woman by comparing her to other women doesn't really work well IMHO. She has to meet your standards. Better to be alone then stuck with someone you don't want.

I have often seen posts about a guy getting out of a messy LTR and mourning the fact he had had the chance to marry her. That's crazy. Why would you want to have been married to someone with whom you would eventually break up? Better to break up then divorce.

 

[Alpine]

Everything happens for the best, we just don't know how sometimes.


Godspeed.

 

[Slickster]

The Paradox of DJing

Comote

The essence of DJing creates a paradox of sorts for all of us seeking to improve our abilities with women doesn't it? On one hand we want to be the LadiesMan DJ with one foot always out the door or a wall up around ourselves. On the other we are people and its almost impossible to not care about the women we spend time with.

The DJ game has you nexting women for any particular reason while the other half of your brain truly believes that there ARE good relationships out there. And it is possible to lose someone you truly care about.

As you say life does go on and we get over it. Eventually you grow to accept that relationships come and go out of your life all the time.

It can be difficult at times, but getting overly sentimental or dwelling too much on a past relationship is wrong. You are stagnating. Moving backwards. You just aren't living.

What you can do while on your journey is to learn how to open yourself up to women AND realize that relationships do come and go. Treat everyone with respect and love and as Big Pappy quoted

“When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues”

Its so true. I'm a firm believer that there is no such thing as nexting. People tend to come around again. Sometimes time just has to pass, people make some realizations, shyt goes down, whatever. For what ever reason people come back into your life sometimes. I try and stay in contact with most of my ex's. Not closely but occasional. I never really go out of my way to get in contact. And I don't obsess over them. (Maybe a little from time to time when I'm alone with a box o' Kleenex). Sometimes two people just need some time to mend, grow, etc before it can happen again.

As long as you continue to live in the "now" instead of the past (worrying about ex's) or the future (worrying about who's next) you can successfully avoid the paradox of which you speak.

You shouldn't leave the forum. Nor should you let a woman you lost mess with your head or life. Its part of the game. Keep on playing.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

Re: The Paradox of DJing

Originally posted by Slickster
Comote

Treat everyone with respect and love and as Big Pappy quoted

“When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues”

Its been a while since I've posted here...just lurking here and there..but this is probably the most insightful quote I've read on this site in a LONG TIME. Props to Big Pappy.

Slickster or Pappy - Is this just some random quote or was it taken from a thread...if it was taken from a thread, pls post the link..i'd like to read it.

Back to the subject - Comote...he's given good, sound advice over the years. And yes, We've been in that boat where we FEEL deep down that we've found the perfect woman - A great career, beautiful body, HB10 looks, can cook, clean and loves football.....then all of the sudden....we lose her.

Then dating a girl who's a 7 or an 8 just doesn't do it for you. So the one-itis creeps in because the new girl isn't even half the woman the "EX" was. So what ends up happening? Many stop trying...but for anyone who's reading this...keep on trying.

Yes..you will date fugly ones.
Yes..you will date stupid ones.
Yes..you will date golddiggers.

but...with each of these..you will gain experience on when that perfect "10" does come around again. Whether it be the "EX" or a new HB...because through my experience....better women ALWAYS come around...and the only way to be successful is to keep yourself sharp with this DJ knowledge...use it..engrain it..and pass it on to others here.

Personally, I can say I know the DJB guides and theory fairly well. Have used it, engrained it and have become successful with women thanks to it. BUT, I admittedly am not as "SHARP" when I stop giving advice. When others seek advice, it makes those neurons in your head kick in double time. It pulls past experience, current experience, and all the articles ever read together in your head to help someone else. Through giving advice, you continue to grow yourself...maybe reading a viewpoint that is different and refreshing.....so mentally, your brain stays sharp, rather than dormant.

Hate to see another DJ go...hopefully you'll be lurking around like I did for the past couple months...

But I have a feeling you'll be back like Shwartzenegger.

 

[comote]

Dudes, thanks for the advice. Check the whole thread. I left for a couple months, holidays were getting to me and all but now I am back going strong. I have put her behind me for good.

Hypnotiq, you are someone I would particularly like to get into more in depth discussion with. I remember you were preaching about the salsa scene a few years ago, are you still going out? I have been going crazy dancing since I moved to the city. There are many things unique to macking in the salsa scene I would like to discuss with a dj who is familiar with that scene.

 

[DeathDealer]

hey comote don't let the door hit your a$$ outta here. loser. you think by putting us down it will alleviate your pompous attitude, no. you're like the rest of the djs that come in here and say "Okay folks, I'm leaving.. please leave your narcissistic worshipping comments here"

 

[comote]

D@mn I didn't realize just how defensive and self centered some are. Don't even bother to read the post before attacking it.

Guys, maybe if you actually tried listening to people before you open your mouths you would actually get laid. More than likely though if you have gotten this far through my post you actually do read/listen to what others have to say and do not have this problem.

Some of you guys are too funny.

 

[n00bPimp]

People who announce their leave always come back the next day. People leave because they have lost interest in this, not because they force themselves to do so.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

comote.

the salsa dance scene in seattle is so-so...the new trend is toward argentine tango. steps are pretty similar but like all trends, it seems that it will go back to salsa...but hey, whats wrong with learning both.

generally speaking, when it come to specialized salsa clubs - YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CONFIDENT in these clubs vs. a regular night club.

in a typical frat boy/do me baby night club, women really dont expect the guys to know how to dance. half the fellas in these types or clubs are wasted and running off of alcohol fumes and will hit on anything with t*ts and ass.

when it comes to salsa/tango spots..It comes down to being ultra confident in your attitude, mood, moves, and look.

I'm assuming you're a pretty good lead..PM me bro.