Time to end it?

[Jay25]

Been dating a girl for a little over a year.

Sex life is good and we do have a good chemistry, but there are glaring problems.

She can be rude as in stop contact during a conversation, meanwhile she’s posting stuff on Snapchat, etc

Another is she has made several promises and either “forgot” or not done them, seems not to be a priority to her.

The latest is she said let’s talk later, we aren’t very close to each other right now so some times we Skype and she literally never said a word, last messaged her 3pm and at about 11 she posted a Snapchat story.

These mixed with other ****ty behavior, I don’t want to bail because we have a good connection, one of the best I’ve ever had with someone and sex is good, but she is inconsiderate to me, not getting back to me, not helping me with a favor, those are not good traits to me of a girlfriend.

Anyway to salvage this or is it helpless.

 

[Spaz]

She no longer admires you, hence the disrespect.

The balance of power has now shifted towards her and that's not good.

It's a given that she is in the phase to monkey branch and has yet to capture a new man. Once she does, you will be dumped.

Do not beg or even discuss, it's an exercise in futility.

To keep ur dignity and shift the power back towards you, dump her 1st.

There's benefits to be had by doing so, although that shouldn't be ur focus as it's fleeting and plays on a women's emotions.

Take this opportunity to improve yourself, turning urself into a successful strong willed man - generating admirable qualities that women (and man) will find attractive.

 

[Jay25]

It’s so odd because at times she act very admiring of me

 

[Spaz]

It’s so odd because at times she act very admiring of me

Does it include those times when you place urself as a doormat?

 

[oldmanofthesea]

It's hard to analyze this since a lot can happen within a year. But I don't think heavy analysis is needed. I agree with Spaz that, for whatever reason, the power has shifted to her and that she no longer admires you as much as she once did. Why? Who knows.... but have you been doing all the primary things a man should (Being confident, not depressed, not being needy/clingy, having a good social life, not go to her for help with emotional problems, having a purpose in life that comes before her, looking out for yourself, ensuring she knows that you like her but don't need her)? Failing those things are usually what cause women to lose respect for you over time.

All that said, the key to moving forward is really quite simple. I don't feel you need to dump her just yet, but you do need to withdraw. When a woman withdraws, you should withdraw even more. Give her some space. Do not pursue. Let HER be the one to reach out to you. Be less available. Always respond, but take your time. Be the one to end the conversations. Go out and spend more time with friends and don't let her know exactly what you are up to (if she asks, be vague and say you were "out with friends" and if she presses, just change the subject). Let her wonder about you a little. If you do all this, it will either reignite her respect and passion for you which will give you a second chance at being the man you need to be to keep a woman interested in you, or she will slide away and things will end. It is very important for you to understand that if the latter happens, there is nothing you can do to change it. Don't believe in the illusion of action - IE that you must take some proactive action by reaching out to her or saying X, Y, or Z to her in order to keep her from sliding away. Literally the ONLY thing you can do now is give her space to miss you and let her realize that she really does like you and doesn't want to lose you. If she doesn't miss you, there's nothing you can do to change it and she warrants no more of your valuable time and attention.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

It’s so odd because at times she act very admiring of me

A woman's interest is not binary. Think of attraction as a percentage scale. If hers falls below 50%, you likely won't recover. But even at 10%, there are going to be things about you that she admires. Do not let these things cloud your judgement of the larger picture.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Does it include those times when you place urself as a doormat?

They also help you into a doormat position.

 

[Chi Town]

Sounds like your the one chasing her and constantly trying to get her attention while she sits back and let's you pursue her. Not good, it should be the other way around.

Now you need to fall back and let her chase you a little bit, don't call or text her or try to hang out with her, act like she doesn't exist, in other words, the only time she will hear from you is when she initiates contact, make her work for your attention and validation.

Also, stop over reacting, that's weak sucka sh!t bro, from the sound of things it seems like you constantly need her attention, hence the reason it bothers you so much when she doesn't get back with you, that's needy and clingy behavior, very unattractive behavior.


No, I don't think you should break up with her, just improve your behavior because quite frankly, your losing right now.

Also, keep in mind, when your girl is really into you she will constantly be calling, trying to see you ECT almost to the point where you start getting annoyed with her, she will be very clingy and neeeeed your attention like a drug and when she doesn't get it she has withdrawal symptoms lol

You would be making threads asking us "how can I get this girl to stop harassing me"

Keep working, you will get there one day.

 

[Spaz]

Some of you r seriously asking him 2 not break it off ?

I dont know abt the standards u guys set but any woman who disrespects me by stopping conversation midway to go post on snapchat deserves 2 be dismissed.

I'll immediately walk away and won't even think twice.

And that's just the 1st sentence of his post...

 

[Murk]

Didn’t read the thread but I don’t undsterand how after a year you are not seeing her all the time (at least 3-4 days a week) as standard. All this social media and texting crap? Isn’t it phone calls and car rides?

 

[Jay25]

Have not spoken to her since Friday, she has reached out a few times.

Latest saying I love you, how should I respond, I haven’t broken up with her yet, this is my last ditch effort.

 

[lamath]

Have not spoken to her since Friday, she has reached out a few times.

Latest saying I love you, how should I respond, I haven’t broken up with her yet, this is my last ditch effort.

End it!!!!
Make it short, she is clearly serching for attention.

Dont make it ez on her, end it before the monkey branch

 

[Vantagepoint34]

4

 

[Dash Riprock]

She is toying with you like a sociopath, stringing you along. She's enjoying thing, no investment but still get occasional attention while she cheats. Youre playing into her world. Dump her.

This. I will 100%, iron clad lock guarantee you she is f*ucking with you for her own enjoyment and validation. Emotionally healthy and mature women don't do this.

Break up and go NC.

Be strong, not a beta wimp like 97% of all other guys.

 

[djdfuser]

Ask her to unlock her smartphone when she gets home. When she refuses, it's over.

 

[R.U.G.]

I wouldn't throw her to the curb yet. You're still fvcking, so that's a plus. However, I'd start to create some distance and become busy. If she asks to hang out the same day or the next, you say you already have plans. This will get her hamster wheel running. If you're chatting too much on the phone such as calling, messaging, etc.; limit that. Still respond, but less is more. You need to gain back control. Ultimately, whether she admits or not, this is what she wants too. The way to do this is not being so available. Work on your purpose and goals in your life. Say you're working on a new project. Hang out with friends. Start some new hobbies, etc. As weird and strange as it sounds, distance can reboot things. If you're still fvcking regularly, her interest is still over 50%. The distance and curiosity will help increase this. She will start wondering what you're doing and so on and so forth. You're too predicable, add some mystery in your life. Still invite her over or go to her pad and continue with the sex at least once a week.

 

[ohrein]

I'd start to treat her like a FWB. Cut all the texting conversation and focus on yourself and hobbies. This works two-fold. You will regain the power because you will mentally start checking out of the relationship. Women are sensitive to this and she will subconsciously and consciously notice. It could potentially re-ignite her interest. But more importantly, it sets you up to protect yourself. You should stop wasting time chasing someone who is being evasive. Get on your grind instead. Be too busy for her. When she starts texting you, tell her "Sorry babe, busy. Come around soon. x"

I still do this in my relationship one year in. My girl is not my world. She's a part of it, but she's not it.

You should at a minimum start mirroring her effort in the relationship. At a maximum, shift your focus away from it. That would be ideal.

 

[djdfuser]

Agreed. If the general consensus in the replies is correct, why the fvck would you want to stoop to the level of someone who's disrespected you and give them one more minute of your time? Abundance, right? GTFO. NC.

 

[Spaz]

Ohrein's stratagem works.

But it's effectiveness is highly dependent on a man's ability to be dismissive or if you'd like a red pill compliant man.

OP here is anything but that, he needs to re-frame himself 1st away from being supplicant towards the feminine imperative.

OP has good instincts, he already senses something is wrong, just need reframing and time.

 

[djdfuser]

Ohrein's stratagem works.

But it's effectiveness is highly dependent on a man's ability to be dismissive or if you'd like a red pill compliant man.

OP here is anything but that, he needs to re-frame himself 1st away from being supplicant towards the feminine imperative.

OP has good instincts, he already senses something is wrong, just need reframing and time.

Spaz, I ain't gonna say the strategem is wrong. Just that it makes no sense to me. If it's good for this broad, why not all the rest and before you know it, you've got a trail of disrespectful broads you're probably sharing with other fvckers. Wouldn't full red pill compliance mean the last thing you want is a trail of disrespectful broads you're probably sharing with other fvckers?