"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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time to end it with this girl...

garruk

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so this girl of mine has been gone for a few weeks and now shes back. and things are not the same.

basically, while she was away she met some friend from her high school and she really hit it off with him. they didnt do anything but there was a strong emotional connection. anyways, she still really likes this guy (whose in another country now) and even though she knows itll never go anywhere with him its kinda ruined things for me too.


now i just need some advice (and maybe just to hear it from you guys)... the smart thing to do here is to break it off right? or do i continue spinning this plate along with others?
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Alex DeLarge

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I would say to just bring down contact with her to a minimal. Let her come back to you and focus on your other girls for now.
 

PrettyBoyAJ

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That's still cheating emotionally. End it. On to bigger and better things.
 

Tiguere

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shes just a plate not an actual girlfriend. dont contact her. let her initiate all contact from now on. decrease your availability. return her texts and calls late. make her see you doing your thing on the side. then comeback and update
 

Scars

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Tiguere said:
shes just a plate not an actual girlfriend. dont contact her. let her initiate all contact from now on. decrease your availability. return her texts and calls late. make her see you doing your thing on the side. then comeback and update
Agreed. If she's just a plate keep the contact minimal and continue to spin more plates. She may have higher interest for homeboy right now but he is also in another country. You have the advantage of being physically available, he doesn't. A little hot/cold could quickly raise her interest back up with you, and it will be a lot easier to seduce her into your web then it would be say, over a phone or through texts miles and miles away.

-Scars
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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garruk

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Scars said:
Agreed. If she's just a plate keep the contact minimal and continue to spin more plates. She may have higher interest for homeboy right now but he is also in another country. You have the advantage of being physically available, he doesn't. A little hot/cold could quickly raise her interest back up with you, and it will be a lot easier to seduce her into your web then it would be say, over a phone or through texts miles and miles away.

-Scars
thanks for the tip man, i will do exactly this.

will update you guys with new developments.
 

garruk

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i tripped up.

i planned to go hot/cold as many of you suggested but on this girl's facebook she changed her profile picture to picture of the two them (from a picture of me) and i was kinda like eff it. she came over to get soemthing she had left at my house and i just told straight up we were done. she didnt seem phased at all.


now heres the weird part: that night i went out with some friends to a club/bar and somehow she was there too (what a coincidence). we both got drunk and she started flirting with me really heavy for pretty much the whole night. i was somewhat reciprocal (which is where i tripped up?). I played it well at first but near the end i started showing a little interest. she then went to the bathroom and i think she called that dude and then was pretty shut off for the rest of the night.

anyways, im prob going to go NC for a few weeks and then see what happens.

will continue to update because i think this story hasnt ended yet.
 

pete101

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garruk said:
i tripped up.

i planned to go hot/cold as many of you suggested but on this girl's facebook she changed her profile picture to picture of the two them (from a picture of me) and i was kinda like eff it. she came over to get soemthing she had left at my house and i just told straight up we were done. she didnt seem phased at all.


now heres the weird part: that night i went out with some friends to a club/bar and somehow she was there too (what a coincidence). we both got drunk and she started flirting with me really heavy for pretty much the whole night. i was somewhat reciprocal (which is where i tripped up?). I played it well at first but near the end i started showing a little interest. she then went to the bathroom and i think she called that dude and then was pretty shut off for the rest of the night.

anyways, im prob going to go NC for a few weeks and then see what happens.

will continue to update because i think this story hasnt ended yet.
You f'd up, she was testing you to see if she still could have you despite you ending things.

she's showed you major disrespect. i think now it's too late, it doesn't matter what you do, even if you believe and know she cant have you anymore it doesn't matter as in her mind she believes now that she can have you any time given how easy it was for her to get you back at the club.

the fact that she didn't even seem phased by it that you broke it off with her makes me think maybe she lied to you and things did go further with that other guy and if you sounded bitter and angry when you ended it justified her decision for doing it.

you should have just ignored her the whole night every time she made an advance, not in a rude way just not giving her any attention. this woulda frustrated her and i reckon by the end of the night she woulda tried to kiss you, which you should have not fallen for either, if you kept on doing the ignoring she'd prob try to get you to come to bed with her just to prove to herself that she still had you, and if you managed to resist that, then you'd be back on to the road of her being interested in you again. also if you were flirting with other girls that woulda really p1ssed her off and she'd be determined to get you back somehow.

there's nothing you can do now even NC is probably too late, she MAY contact you from time to time and if she does just ignore her.
 

sexysuave

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Eject man, you're too emotionally invovled here and she is playing you for a fool. Move on to other girls or suffer.
 

garruk

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yeah I think you guys are right. I played this wrong. I blame the alcohol. haha.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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garruk

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pete101 said:
You f'd up, she was testing you to see if she still could have you despite you ending things.

she's showed you major disrespect. i think now it's too late, it doesn't matter what you do, even if you believe and know she cant have you anymore it doesn't matter as in her mind she believes now that she can have you any time given how easy it was for her to get you back at the club.

the fact that she didn't even seem phased by it that you broke it off with her makes me think maybe she lied to you and things did go further with that other guy and if you sounded bitter and angry when you ended it justified her decision for doing it.

you should have just ignored her the whole night every time she made an advance, not in a rude way just not giving her any attention. this woulda frustrated her and i reckon by the end of the night she woulda tried to kiss you, which you should have not fallen for either, if you kept on doing the ignoring she'd prob try to get you to come to bed with her just to prove to herself that she still had you, and if you managed to resist that, then you'd be back on to the road of her being interested in you again. also if you were flirting with other girls that woulda really p1ssed her off and she'd be determined to get you back somehow.

there's nothing you can do now even NC is probably too late, she MAY contact you from time to time and if she does just ignore her.
I rejected all the advances at first but yeah after a few too many drinks I succumbed and I guess I effed it up.

the thing is I'm still like 75% sure I'm going to hook up with her again in the near future.

however, I do think I'm too emotionally attached right now and I need to get out.
 
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