Time spent with girl you're dating

[becker]

For those of you in more exclusive relationships (not BF/GF, but just steady dating), how often do you see the girl you're dating?

The girl I'm seeing now I see almost every day (I know, that seems bad) but she's a co-worker (again, I know most of you say it's bad, but she's temporary, so she won't be working at the office long, since she's starting school in the fall).

I'm thinking it's probably best if we don't see each other every day or talk on the phone every day, but I'm wondering how you guys who have been in this situation go about this. I hardly ever call her, which I'm thinking could be bad because to me, calling is one of those things that you have to do once in a while at least, and not make her do it all the time, or else it may tend to show a lack of interest from you. On the same token, calling her too often doesn't come off well either. Must strike that balance.

 

[skinnydart]

I always find it hard to find time to spend with a girl I'm dating more than once or twice a week. I guess I have the opposite problem. And other than calling to set up dates, I don't call.

 

[becker]

Yeah, that seems like the right thing to do. What I hate is that the danger of running out of things to do or say may make it seem like the relationship is getting stale, when in reality it isn't, it's just getting more normal.

I think that the way I see it is that if you can't spend a majority of your time together, you may not be meant to be together, but at the same time, every couple will eventually get to that point, and when they do, it has to be at that point where you're comfortable being together, because no matter what happens, the novelty of a new relationship will always wear off a bit, even if you're doing new things together.

 

[Miles Davis]

Keep extending the "newness" of the relationship as long as you can. You know you're going to get to the point of comfort anyway. It might seem like you're playing games by not seeing her often, but it works. I try to limit the frequency of meetings in the beginning, but make each one count.

 

[becker]

Miles, how much experience do you have doing this stuff yourself? I am with a girl now who is really a keeper, so I'd like to keep things good as long as I could. So far it's been very good despite me seeing her all the time, but I think I'll be cutting it off a little more now for that very reason.