TIME SENSITIVE: Help a newly Divorced guy with 2 Online Dating Qs!

[CaConfused]

Hey there guys -- newly divorced, diving head first into online dating. I have 4 dates already lined up, but these two 'situations' need your guidance.

Situation 1 - VERY HOT GIRL. Great emails (about 5) with this girl from OK Cupid. Asked her out for drinks Sunday night. here is her response -

This Sunday doesn't work for me, but we'll try to plan something out soon. Any weekend plans?

QUESTION - How do I respond?

Situation 2 - Asked a girl out for 2nd date on Sat night. She's busy. She asked me for Sunday night. I was busy. We settled on Tuesday. My Sunday date (see above) flaked out. I'd like to move this girl to Sunday so that I can open up Tuesday.

QUESTION - I was thinking of saying 'Hey Diane, my tickets fell through Sunday night so turns out I'm free and wanted to see if that night worked better for you since you asked about it prior". Bad move?

Thanks guys!!

 

[Iceberg]

Hey there guys -- newly divorced, diving head first into online dating. I have 4 dates already lined up, but these two 'situations' need your guidance.

Situation 1 - VERY HOT GIRL. Great emails (about 5) with this girl from OK Cupid. Asked her out for drinks Sunday night. here is her response -

This Sunday doesn't work for me, but we'll try to plan something out soon. Any weekend plans?

QUESTION - How do I respond?

I hate that move. With a passion. They reject a date offer and then try to keep the conversation moving, so she continues to get her attention-fix.

What she SHOULD have done (if she's interested) is suggest another day in the week, much like your girl in the 2nd question below.

I had the same thing happen to me 2 weeks ago with one broad. I do my normal 2-3 messages, and in the 3rd, I finish with "Let's catch up over drinks." She responds to EVERY point in my message, except for the drinks part, and still has the nerve to write some 4-paragraph message ending with "Any big weekend plans?"

In my situation, I didn't respond. If she's not feeling it after 3 messages, I don't think 6 more messages is gonna warm her up. And remember....these girls WILL keep you on the hook, even if they aren't interested. Women love attention, no matter who it comes from.

Situation 2 - Asked a girl out for 2nd date on Sat night. She's busy. She asked me for Sunday night. I was busy. We settled on Tuesday. My Sunday date (see above) flaked out. I'd like to move this girl to Sunday so that I can open up Tuesday.

QUESTION - I was thinking of saying 'Hey Diane, my tickets fell through Sunday night so turns out I'm free and wanted to see if that night worked better for you since you asked about it prior". Bad move?

Thanks guys!!

There's nothing wrong with that move. "Had a change of plans for Sunday. So if that's still good for you, I can make it work. Otherwise, see ya Tuesday."

 

[CaConfused]

I hate that move. With a passion. They reject a date offer and then try to keep the conversation moving, so she continues to get her attention-fix.

What she SHOULD have done (if she's interested) is suggest another day in the week, much like your girl in the 2nd question below.

I had the same thing happen to me 2 weeks ago with one broad. I do my normal 2-3 messages, and in the 3rd, I finish with "Let's catch up over drinks." She responds to EVERY point in my message, except for the drinks part, and still has the nerve to write some 4-paragraph message ending with "Any big weekend plans?"

In my situation, I didn't respond. If she's not feeling it after 3 messages, I don't think 6 more messages is gonna warm her up. And remember....these girls WILL keep you on the hook, even if they aren't interested. Women love attention, no matter who it comes from.

Yes, that is why I am so confused. She just left it open like "Ill let you know when".

Should I tell her something like "Weekend was great, blah blah. Look forward to hearing when youre free, I'm flying to Chicago on Nov 12"

My thinking here is:

Vague on weekend. dont try hard.
Put onus on her now
Give her passive aggressive deadline (like in sales) - I'm gone on Nov 12. better be before then.

Thoughts?

 

[Iceberg]

Yes, that is why I am so confused. She just left it open like "Ill let you know when".

Should I tell her something like "Weekend was great, blah blah. Look forward to hearing when youre free, I'm flying to Chicago on Nov 12"

My thinking here is:

Vague on weekend. dont try hard.
Put onus on her now
Give her passive aggressive deadline (like in sales) - I'm gone on Nov 12. better be before then.

Thoughts?

I've gone through this enough times that I just stop talking to them after that. I don't have time to negotiate my way through vagueness.

If you want to keep trying, your technique is a good way to go. Set a date, and see what happens. I wouldn't count on it though...Internet dating is normal female flakyness x10

 

[CaConfused]

OK, i sent the deadline note to Janey Flakesalot. I'll keep you posted.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I hate that move. With a passion. They reject a date offer and then try to keep the conversation moving, so she continues to get her attention-fix.

RIGHT ON! She's being an AW. Drop her and forget about her.

 

[CaConfused]

RIGHT ON! She's being an AW. Drop her and forget about her.

Alright guys - I *THINK* I might have turned this one around. Here is her response to the 'deadline' email:

----

Well we'll have to meet up before then! What are you going to Chicago for, work or pleasure? Where in the city do you live? Not sure if I asked or not. Maybe we can grab a glass of wine soon.

Nicole

---
What do you guys think and what should my first move be? Situation next week is I am booked until Wednesday and fly out for Chicago on Monday. Only real days I'm avail are Thurs-Sun.

Thanks!

 

[Iceberg]

Alright guys - I *THINK* I might have turned this one around. Here is her response to the 'deadline' email:

----

Well we'll have to meet up before then! What are you going to Chicago for, work or pleasure? Where in the city do you live? Not sure if I asked or not. Maybe we can grab a glass of wine soon.

Nicole

---
What do you guys think and what should my first move be? Situation next week is I am booked until Wednesday and fly out for Chicago on Monday. Only real days I'm avail are Thurs-Sun.

Thanks!

Work within your schedule, since that's all you can do. Ask her about Thursday. Something like "It's going to be a crazy week, so wine would be great. I'll be free on Thursday. How does that look for you?"

Or whatever...use your own voice. The important thing is that you get her committed to something, so you know that you're not wasting your time writing her.

I'm not one to take a woman's word, but it sounds like she might be into it. You won't know if she's forreal until the date happens. Sucks that you have to wait a week to find out.

 

[CaConfused]

Work within your schedule, since that's all you can do. Ask her about Thursday. Something like "It's going to be a crazy week, so wine would be great. I'll be free on Thursday. How does that look for you?"

Or whatever...use your own voice. The important thing is that you get her committed to something, so you know that you're not wasting your time writing her.

I'm not one to take a woman's word, but it sounds like she might be into it. You won't know if she's forreal until the date happens. Sucks that you have to wait a week to find out.

She JUST emailed me an hour ago. How long do you think I should wait to mail her what you just said? Also, is it being too pushy to push for another date after I sort of relaxed and gave her the subtle deadline of the 12th?