Time in between dates

[BJP1991]

Hey Everyone,

What’s your opinion on time between dates and level of interaction between dates with a girl who, lets just say for the sake of example, you’ve been on a few dates with and things seem to be going well.

For example, I have a third date lined up for Friday, which is 8 days after our second date. The day after our second date, she thanked me for the evening and said she really would like to see me again. I exchanged a couple messages and lined up the third date at my house at the end of this week.

My question is: when a girl displays higher-than-average interest, how much time do you usually have between dates, and what level of communication (I.e texting) do you maintain between dates?

Typically, I don’t text them hardly at all, other than to shoot my address over and let them know what kind of wine will go with dinner, or something like that. Usually about 2-3 days before the scheduled date if it’s at my place.

I’ve heard stories of girls with high interest being turned off or losing interest if a man doesn’t pursue them to at least some degree. But I would think that having a date already arranged would be enough, correct? Even if it’s a week after the previous date, I would have to believe, but curious what you all have experienced.

Surely, I would never just start texting nonsense for the sake of keeping in contact.

Discuss!

 

[Serenity]

This is one of the questions that never seems to go away. Do I text her often or not at all except for setting up dates? The answer is simply no.

There is a balance in between the extremes. Then the problem becomes what to say, which everyone is overthinking. That too is simple, just keep it simple. Asking how her day has been is enough, have a short conversation. If it's a week between dates you can do this 1 or 2 days of that week. Don't do it every day, don't do it none of the days and when you do it you shouldn't keep the conversation long.

It shows you have some level of interest, but you're not an obsessed psycho. This is good. Not having any contact at all in between may make them question how serious you really are about her. Everyone likes to know they're not forgotten.

I did this when I was dating my girlfriend. Sometimes it was a few days between dates, but often up to a week and sometimes a little more. We didn't text every day, only when it had been completely silent a couple of days. When we did text it was just quick and easy, how it's going, anything interesting and maybe shoot a few more messages if there was anything interesting. I straight up told her in the first few dates that I hate long text conversations, that it's better to save it for our dates so we actually have something to talk about.

We both obviously wanted to see each other faster than a whole week, I didn't artificially add time just for the sake of it. I planned dates to be convenient, that often meant waiting a week because of work and other stuff. So if she wants to see you again ASAP and you want that too, then there's nothing wrong with just 3 days until next date. Almost anything goes, but I'd say you shouldn't date 2 consecutive days the first few dates. Other than that, make plans that are convenient. Don't move around your schedule to try to make it work earlier, if it's inconvenient then pick a better day.

Short answer: Be well balanced in any apparent dilemma.