"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Time for a field report

McKindley

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There aren't many of these anymore, so here's what's up with me.

This past weekend I went to a party. A cute girl showed up so I kinoed her. Generally enjoyed ourselves and she warmed up. At the end of the night I asked for the number and got shot down.

Which is cool. At least she didn't give it to me and ignore me when I call, which has happened in the past.

I know what I did wrong. I just read her wrong. She warmed up to me, but obviously wasn't terribly attracted to me (I'm a really fun guy, so I have a problem where girls just want to be friends, sound familiar?) I went for the number anyway (hey, the worst thing she could do is say no, right?) Me and the guys got a big laugh out of it anyway.

Another situation that turned out better:

So a few weeks ago I was over at a friend's house I used to hang out with in High School.

We we're watching a movie, and she was cuddled up with me. I knew she wanted me to kiss her, so there was little fear of rejection.

At one point we were flirting really heavy, and I kissed her. And we made out for awhile. Which is nice.

Then I left. and she's been texting me incessantly since, asking me when I'm coming to town next (I live about 3 hours away from my hometown, where she lives).

Any thoughts?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Layla

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Thats good, nice make out at the end. It's good that your out in the field, most people on here just read.


Originally posted by McKindley

(I'm a really fun guy, so I have a problem where girls just want to be friends, sound familiar?)

Any thoughts?
hmmm... i cant really say that i understand that. If your a fun guy, this wont stop a girl from attracting you. Maybe you mean it another way?
 

McKindley

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Layla:

To clarify: I'm a really fun guy, but I'm not a "hot" guy. So its kind of hard to gauge if a girl is attracted to me, or just generally likes being around me. I usually wait until it is painfully obvious a girl likes me before I make a move
 

medik167

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why wait to make sure its painfully obvious? most girls will give up before putting themselves out of the line like that. as far as i know, you only live once. this may just be a phrase to some but think about it. lets say you try to make a move and get rejected. thats a rejection that won't matter in the big picture and more than likely be forgotten in time. on the other hand, that one move that you made can alter your life, mainly sex life. i know when i die i don't want to be on my deathbed regretting decisions or wishing i could live my life over again. thats why its best to move through life with no regrets all the while doing things you want without regret (to a certain extent...ie obey the laws, ect.) thats just me though.....
 
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