Throw in a Little Jerk

[Kyoto]

I'm 19 and in College...and striking out after a big breakout. I'm like a super nice and sensitive guy and I've found that this only creates assumptions that I'm gay. Reading these post (very informative!) I keep seeing that the best is to throw in a little jerk with my niceness. But can anyone tell me how exactly to throw in that jerk, because I have no idea how to be a jerk. Please advise!

 

[46and2aheadofme]

You don't have to be a jerk.

My understanding of the whole "jerk" theory is that jerks act however they want around women. They don't let women change their behavior, and will do/ say whatever they want (a.k.a. taking social risks). This establishes themselves as the prize and generally makes them more entertaining to be around. "Nice guys" on the other hand are reserved and will not say/ do anything that they think might offend someone else. They adjust how they really are to their surroundings, take no social risks, and act as if the women are the prize.

I think the worst thing I did when I was "too nice" was just agree with what everyone else said and feared expressing what I truly felt. I am still a little restrained in some social situations, but an important area of improvement I've experienced is establishing a comfort for expressing how I truly feel around women. For example, if they are really bad at something I will point it out, but in a teasing way rather than a mean way. If I'm at a party and see a girl pour herself a "bi tch shot" I will call her out and and be like "wow when did you switch to the metric system in pouring your shots?" or something along those lines.

What you have to do is add in a little teasing and making fun of girls. If there is one thing I am certain of, girls love those little tease battles where you both are making fun of each other (but try and make sure you win). Don't be afraid to call her out on her bullsh1t, but always do it in a light-hearted manner. Jerks fail when they take things too far and actually insult those around them.

This is why everyone here is such a strong proponent of the ****y and funny. You can create the same attractive qualities of a jerk without pissing off the **** (by making her laugh at herself).

 

[Lexington]

The secret of the "jerk" is that they are unapologetic for what they are and they aren't afraid to go after the women they want. They're not afraid to be sexual with women. On the other hand, the nice guy is polite and gentlemanly to a fault. That doesn't turn women on. They'll say things like "oh you're such a nice guy" and "I feel like we can talk about anything with you" but there's no sexual tension.

 

[slaog]

You don't have to become a jerk. You can still be a nice guy. A different sort of nice guy. There are 2 main types, nice guys that look to get i.e AFC. And nice guys that give i.e DJ.


I wrote about this in more detail in another thread - http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=1468271#post1468271