Throw away your formulas for success

De La Soul

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It's a badly-kept secret.
I'll get straight to the point: there is no formula for success. You cannot bottle, package, and label success. Your happiness does not lie in a single quote.

Be suspicious of anyone who tries to convince you that they have the ultimate way to succeed. Whether it be with women, sports, the stock market, writing, or any other activity in life. Advice is a valuable commodity, but take the advice of others with a pinch of salt.

It is extremely important to know that only you can find the path to true success or happiness. Success will not come from reading Pook's posts. Success will not come from memorising a certain formula for attraction (e.g. Kino + Eliciting Values + ****y/funny). Success will not come from paying just eight easy installments of $19.95 for six months to www.doubleyourdating.com. And success will not come from memorising a quote, and trying to live by it.

Success can possibly be aided by these things, but it can't be guaranteed. There is a way to guarantee success, though. Experimentation. Perhaps the low-key approach works best for you. Or maybe it's the alpha male, take-no-prisoners approach. The only way you'll really find out what works best IN THE REAL WORLD, where it counts, is by trying things - in the real world.

Stop trying to memorise quotes, or the five keys to succes, or some sort of flow-chart to a perfect conversation.

Just experiment. One thing at a time. In different situations. Make things happen. Go in where you wouldn't normally go. Leave before you'd normally leave. Be more jokey when you'd normally be more serious. Or the opposite...

So take advice on board, but don't let it weigh you down. Eventually, things will start to fall into place and you'll see how it all fits together.

- De La Soul
 

Slashco

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Wow. The first useful piece of advice I've read here in a long time.

I think the problem with many of these 'keys to success' people is not that their tips didn't work for them. Rather, they present you with the end result of their efforts while neglecting the journey there, which is in fact the essential part. Without knowing what they went through, what they experienced, their neat conclusions are meaningless. You can't live on quotes and affirmations; they might make you feel better for a while, but the feeling does not last. Ultimately, you have to experiment and find your own path.

Take a sport like baseball, for example. You can memorize quotes from the greats, read all the books on it you can, know the rules inside out, but if you've never played a game, how good do you think you'll be at it? All those things can be helpful of course, but they will only help if you've already begun playing and can apply them in the proper context, otherwise they are meaningless. Social interaction is no different.

If 'self help' books really worked, we would see a decrease in their numbers, instead of a steady increase in demand. People expect others to solve their problems or offer a magical solution, when there is none except hard work through trial and error, adapting, and learning from mistakes. We'd all be better off if everyone realized this.
 

Ragnar

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um...ok....so people that are a success know nothing about becoming one?...and following their lead wouldn't be valuable?


I would have to disagree.

Success is accomplished by doing ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER IT TAKES to reach your goal. I mean doing anything. Actually eating, breathing, smelling, tasting and living your goal every single godda** minute of every single muthafuqing day.


That's it. Become your goal.

Try it and trust me. It's delightfully fun and the best part is it works!!!!!

I went from success to failure in approx. 2 years. But I read this in a book and it changed my life.

Regards.
 

Slashco

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Originally posted by Ragnar
um...ok....so people that are a success know nothing about becoming one?...and following their lead wouldn't be valuable?


I would have to disagree.


Nobody said that, read my post again. I said following someone else's quotes will get you nowhere, because you are looking at their destination without knowing their journey.

Success is accomplished by doing ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER IT TAKES to reach your goal. I mean doing anything. Actually eating, breathing, smelling, tasting and living your goal every single godda** minute of every single muthafuqing day.


That's it. Become your goal.

Try it and trust me. It's delightfully fun and the best part is it works!!!!!
Easier said than done, unfortunately...

I went from success to failure in approx. 2 years. But I read this in a book and it changed my life.

Regards.
I don't understand this part. Do you mean you went from success to failure?
 

De La Soul

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It's a badly-kept secret.
Ragnar

um...ok....so people that are a success know nothing about becoming one?...and following their lead wouldn't be valuable?


I would have to disagree.
"So take advice on board, but don't let it weigh you down."

Of course advice from successful people is important! I changed my whole style because I read advice from someone, and I really feel I've improved because of it. But it wasn't like I was memorising a single quote, or trying to do everything he said word-for-word, or using a few assertions as the basis for everything I did.

Advice is always useful.

Success is accomplished by doing ABSOLUTELY WHATEVER IT TAKES to reach your goal. I mean doing anything. Actually eating, breathing, smelling, tasting and living your goal every single godda** minute of every single muthafuqing day.
As much as I admire your enthusiasm, I don't think THAT much commitment is needed for any goal. You might have the goal of making the major leagues for baseball, but don't be afraid to take some time off to have a round at the golf course.

That's it. Become your goal.

Try it and trust me. It's delightfully fun and the best part is it works!!!!! I went from success to failure in approx. 2 years. But I read this in a book and it changed my life.
Can you give me some real-life examples?

I agree that absolute passion for one's goals will really help in achieving them, but what's this got to do with my post? Be passionate, yes. But live your own life.

da dynamically

You shouldnt throw away your formulas all together. The great quotes are famous for a reason. What you should rather do is try to understand the quotes and see how it relates to your own life.

Have an open mind. One day you might do this, the next day you might do that. As long as you are "doing" something of importance to your goal you are progressing forward.

"Assume formlessness"
I love quotes. But they're no basis for success. The fact is, that almost all one or two line quotes have no real value other than motivational. If you could provide me with a few quotes that could be a basis for long-term change, I'd love to see them. You could have a million-dollar idea on your hands!


Slashco

Wow. The first useful piece of advice I've read here in a long time.

I think the problem with many of these 'keys to success' people is not that their tips didn't work for them. Rather, they present you with the end result of their efforts while neglecting the journey there, which is in fact the essential part. Without knowing what they went through, what they experienced, their neat conclusions are meaningless. You can't live on quotes and affirmations; they might make you feel better for a while, but the feeling does not last. Ultimately, you have to experiment and find your own path.

Take a sport like baseball, for example. You can memorize quotes from the greats, read all the books on it you can, know the rules inside out, but if you've never played a game, how good do you think you'll be at it? All those things can be helpful of course, but they will only help if you've already begun playing and can apply them in the proper context, otherwise they are meaningless. Social interaction is no different.
Right. You have to be able to put things in context before you get all gung-ho, this is the greatest piece of advice ever etc. That's not to say that advice isn't valuable - it is, but one should never become so wrapped up in any one piece of advice/quote/tip/formula for success that they forget to experience things for themselves. To see how it really is.

If 'self help' books really worked, we would see a decrease in their numbers, instead of a steady increase in demand. People expect others to solve their problems or offer a magical solution, when there is none except hard work through trial and error, adapting, and learning from mistakes. We'd all be better off if everyone realized this.
I think the situation's a little more complex than that, but I'm not really in a position to argue. I will say that true self-help - help that comes from oneself - is a lot more effective (in my opinion) than a fifty year old man shouting slogans at you.

- De La Soul
 

vudufixit

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Thoughts on success...

Some of the least successful people I've seen have shelves full of success courses on tape, success books, success videos, etc.
As if the act of buying said materials just makes them feel like they have some control, like they're making some progress.

A good friend of mine was going to buy the Tony Robbins seminar on tape, or even pay big bucks to go to one in person. I told him to think again. What I told him was that any success system will work if you apply it. Any success system will fail if you do not apply it to your life. The answers lie within.

I added that I believe that most people (especially him since he has a pretty realistic view of himself) actually
know what they need to do in order to succeed!
Somehow people (laziness?) won't listen to the inner voice
that knows automatically what the right things are. They
apparently need a guru, book, tape or therapist to
say what they've known all along.

Except for books containing very specific financial advice,
no success book I've read (I don't buy them,
I glance through them at bookstores) has had anything
that hasn't occurred to me before, at least subconsciously.

I'm not saying that I'm a know it all or fantastically
successful, or afraid to take outside advice. I'm just
saying that more answers lie inside of us than we
may at first believe - but it takes courage to listen
to those answers, and old fashioned hard work
to apply them to our lives.

Yes, there are people who have inherited money,
or just seem to have a "knack" for making it
that most don't have. We see them driving
around an expensive car, and it looks so easy.

Yes, there are people who have natural talents/looks
for attracting women, that most don't have.
We see them with a pack of hb's, and it looks
so easy.

But these are in the minority; most men
with an abundance of money and/or women
had to work very hard to get those things.
As outsiders, we only see the end results,
not the means to get there.

And we also don't know the whole story - maybe
that guy next to you at a stoplight behind the
wheel of a Porche with an hb9 is in debt up to
his eyeballs just to have a nice car (and parks
that car in the garage of his rundown shack) Maybe
the gal next to him is a secretary, an attractive cousin,
a woman who "only wants to be friends" or a
golddigger who will leave him exactly two seconds
after the repo man grabs that Porsche because he
couldn't after make those payments after all.
 

vudufixit

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da dynamically -

I wasn't sure if you were responding to my last post,
but I'm not disagreeing with you.

I'm just trying to say that a surprising amount of
wisdom lies within ourselves *and* in self-help,
self-improvement books, seminars, etc.
But none of it works or matters if the person
doesn't take a disciplined approach
and actually apply themselves to achieving their goals.

That said, it certainly is possible for someone
to come across a life-changing speaker or quote
that really hits home and motivates them.

But it still comes back to the fact that it takes
hard work to achieve anything of value.
 

Ragnar

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Who is John Galt?

First things first:
Where am I?
Do we live in a universe that is run by?
A. Natural Law
B. Incomprehensible chaos

If a person believes that he live in a world of natural laws he believes that there are absolutes. That if he performs certain actions, certain results will follow. On the other hand if he believes in incomprehensible chaos, he believes that luck or miracles are the contributing factors that determine success or failure.

Can we achieve certainty (YES) or are we doomed to perpetual doubt?
Knowledge – How do you acquire it? The number one way to acquire it is through experience. You can either learn through your experience or others experience. However, if experience is not validated, there is no learning.
Decision making funnel – By getting to the cause of the problem you are more likely to solve the problem. The further out you get in the funnel the less likely it is that you actually are dealing with the cause. If you aren’t dealing with the cause, you will have to make another decision, using up valuable time and increasing frustration.

The three cardinal values:
Reason Purpose Self-Esteem


Their corresponding virtues:
Rationality Productiveness Pride

Rationality- independent judgment, reason is the only source of knowledge, never desire effects w/o causes.

Productiveness – creativeness, ambition, self assertiveness- wanting to reshape the earth in your own values.

Pride – never resign passively to any flaws in one’s character, never place any concern, wish, fear or mood of the moment above the reality of one’s self – esteem.

The most important guide in your life is your independent judgment.
What should you do?
What you do is decided by ethics. Everyone has ethics; they may not be conscious of them but they have them. The choice we all have is whether we want to be conscious of what dictates our choices or do we want to be unconscious of our ethics.
By changing attitudes and behaviors you can get incremental progress but once you understand your life and your role in it (a philosophy) you can make a quantum leap. (The Get IT)


Two questions to ask yourself – What can be done? How can things be improved?

Remember:
You create your own reality
You prove your beliefs to yourself
Behavior follows belief

Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy.

Why you want to be conscious of your thoughts:
Thoughts are things/Your thoughts control your life
We become what we think about all day long
Your life is the result of your thoughts; you are the sum total of your thoughts to this point in your life.
Thoughts held in the mind produce results after their kind.
Whatever the mind can conceive and believe it can achieve


How it usually is:
1. Personal Growth
2. Mastery
3. Activity
How it should be:
1. Activity
2. Mastery
3. Personal Growth

Most people like to concentrate on the learning as opposed to the doing. This needs to be reversed in most cases. Another important thing to remember is that by concentrating on Activity you will usually obtain the other two.

A fundamental technique when dealing with people:
What vs. Why – The "what" is the particular attitude or behavior a person is exhibiting. By concentrating on the what you can only receive marginally better results. The why is their philosophy. By dealing with that you can get a quantum leap.

To handle complex issues you must categorize. Sorting and labeling is what our brain does first.

Always ask the divergent question. If you really care you will ask. Challenge people to a new way of doing things.




Principles in a business plan

1. Development of a definiteness of purpose:
a. Have no use for being life’s in-between
b. Have to have a burning desire

ii. Definiteness of purpose forces;
-Specialization
-Alerts you to opportunity
-Decision making process and capability

2.Establish a mastermind with like-minded people or a person.
3. Assemble a growth personality
a. Be optimistic
b. Flexibility
c. Have sincerity of purpose
d. Promptness of decision
e. Courtesy
f. Tact and word usage
g. Control your emotions
h. Develop the Habit of smiling, facial expressions, tone of voice
i. Tolerance
j. Frankness of speech
k. Sense of humor
l. Faith in intelligence
m. Sense of justice
n. Effective speech
o. Alert to interest
p. Versatility
q. Fondness for people
r. Humility
s. Love of life
t. Uncanny curiosity
4.Initiative
a. Take necessary action for definite purpose.
b. Discipline to act in consistent pursuit of that purpose- Continuous means there is no break in you pursuit.
c. Self – Reliance
d. Persistence
e. Imagination
f. Prompt decision making
g. Facts are basis for decisions
h. Go the extra mile
i. Capacity to generate enthusiasm and control it
j. Sense of detail – must have detail if you want to strategize
k. Capacity to listen to criticism
Thinking Accurately:
1. Separate facts from opinions, fiction, unproved hypotheses, and hearsay. Stay out of the gossip circles.
2. Separate facts into two categories:
i. Hearsay
ii. Facts – unsubstantiated, substantiated

What philosophy do I have in my business plan?
>>> A plan designed to push today beyond where yesterday ended<<<

Traits of the moneymakers:
Be an originator and innovator
What was good enough yesterday will not be good enough today!
Make and take your own chances
Set trends and take calculated risks – assuming full responsibility for those actions
Be committed to a maximum of effort everyday

Traits of Quantum Performers:
High level of trust in themselves
Eat mostly fruits and vegetables, little or no salt, sugar
Associates only with positive people
They avoid repetitious activity; they only do creative work that stretches them
Flexible work schedule
They take time to study, learn, and take classes and seminars
Personal goals that are written to keep them on target
They are early birds, they make early morning accomplishments
They have many psychological advisors and use them often
Quite often, they just sit and think.

Notes on Michael Milken
Extremely intense
Did the work of 40 people
Worked 18 hour days
Impeccable handwriting
Knew everything that was going on in his firm
Knew he was right
Had complete confidence in himself
All that mattered was the bottom line
He wanted to do something truly amazing



On being a leader

Questions to ask: What needs to be done?
What can and should I do to make a difference?
A belief in oneself: To step into the unknown and encourage others to do the same.
Passion for the job: provide energy and focus that drive the organization
Love of people




Hierarchy of needs:

1.Self Actualization-What a man or woman can be, he or she must be.
“A desire to be actualized”
2.Esteem- self-confidence, worth, strength, and adequacy
3.Social-love
4.Safety-void of physical harm
5.Physiological- life, food etc.


Have a clear idea of your outcome in any situation; know what you want.
Imagine the outcome as specifically as possible. Who, what, where, when and how
 
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