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Thoughts on the featured article by Jay Julio

Solomon

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Cold Approaching does work!

Its late as hell I will post my thoughts on this later

How to Start Conversations with Women Without Rejection

by Jay Julio

Hey Man,

I'm about to reveal my VERY BEST technique for starting a conversation with a woman. Not only does it guarantee you won't get rejected, but it's actually the way women PREFER to be approached by a man!

But before I do, let me ask you this:

If you think about it, what is it that REALLY stops you from striking up a conversation with a woman for the first time?

What's your biggest fear?

Maybe you're scared of being rejected.

Or maybe you're afraid of looking "foolish" and having everyone around watch you.

If so, let me ask you this:

Have you ever found yourself thinking: "I just don't know what to say to start a conversation with a woman I want to meet."

In fact, "What do I say?" is a question I get a lot.

And you know what I hear?

"I'm scared of being rejected, so I want to know the perfect thing to say."

Well, guess what?

There is NO perfect thing to say to a woman that's going guarantee she'll want to have a conversation.

Here's why:

It's not what you say that's important. What's really important is your "approach" — or your attitude when you start a conversation with a woman.

So here's the first thing you need to know about...
Why Directly Approaching Women Is NOT The Best Route To Start A Conversation And What Is!

Sure, directly walking up to women and starting a conversation is a great way to overcome your fears. But if you actually want to have a woman be open to meeting up with you again, there's a much better "approach" to take.

To understand the reason this "approach" works, it helps to know the "psychology" of how women respond to being approached...

So imagine what it's like to be a woman for a moment:

If you noticed a guy walking up to you in your peripheral vision, you'd know he obviously WANTS something from you, wouldn't you? So would it just be a matter of finding out what THAT something is.

And guess what?

Attractive women know immediately when a guy's approaching them because he finds them attractive and is interested.

It registers on their "radar" very, very quickly.

In fact, most of the time, a woman will know what a guy wants before he even opens his mouth. So he's actually telegraphed his intentions just by the way he walked up to her.

Is there something wrong with this?

Not necessarily... but here's the real secret:

Women don't like being "hit on" (or having a guy express "sexual interest") until AFTER they're attracted to him. So if you walk directly up to a woman out of the blue, generally you're expressing your sexual interest by doing that.

Of course, you can use techniques to break that expectation and show her you're not sexually interested — even if you really are... which I personally consider "manipulative".

But why bother with that when there's an easier, natural, and more authentic way...
Here’s My VERY BEST Technique For Starting Conversations With Women...

I call it: "Crossing Paths".

In fact, this is the way women love THE MOST when meeting men.

If you ask a woman about how she loves to be approached by a guy, she'll probably say something like this:

"I like it when it just happens... accidentally."

And though sometimes women don't consciously know what they want, this IS the truth.

Women want to meet men by "accident" — which basically means that it's NOT planned out ahead of time. Instead, the meeting and interaction just "happens" in the moment.

Being able to do this or allow it to happen "sweeps women off their feet" because it's real, authentic, and non-calculative.

So how do you do it?

First, you DON'T go out of your way to talk to a woman.

Ever.

I know "Pick-Up Artists" look at it differently. But would you go to a different country just to start a conversation with a woman?

Yeah... if you were desperate.

Well, walking up to a woman is basically the SAME thing on a smaller scale.

So unless she gave you the "eye contact signals", don't do it.

Second, if a woman is in earshot and you have time, just take the opportunity.

Instead of directly approaching a woman, you only start conversations with women who are already in close contact with you.

You ONLY talk to women who "cross your path".

Here's the three basic steps on how to do this:
STEP #1: Mind Your Surroundings

One of the key things I teach is not only to be aware of what people who come into close contact with you are doing but how they're responding to you.

To do this, you use just your peripheral awareness.

You know how you can notice things in the "corner of your eye" without having to directly look at them?

That's what I mean.

You need to work on developing this ability so you can go about your business while noticing what's happening around you at the same time — and all without reacting to it.

Because when you get really good at this, you'll start noticing how women respond to you when they come into close contact with you.

The signs start becoming obvious.
STEP #2: Think Out Loud

Now, have you ever noticed that when someone says something and you're the only one around, you almost feel "obligated" to reply?

It's almost like you'd feel rude if you didn't say anything, don't you? It's like you'd be "snubbing" a complete stranger, and who wants to be rude?

In fact, it often seems to be the case that most people are even "nicer" to strangers than people they actually know.

So when a woman comes into close contact with you and you're somewhat stationary, like in a grocery store line-up, make a short impersonal statement that relates to the situation as if you're thinking out loud or talking to yourself.

This may sound strange at first. I mean, won't she think you're a crazy guy who talks to himself?

Not if you're genuine and you say it with conviction, she won't.

Here's the reality:

Doing this is like giving her an invitation. And not only that, it's a non-threatening invitation because you're not even facing her... or even talking directly to her.

In fact, it's like you're indirectly welcoming her into your experience, which communicates all the "right" things.

For example, you may pick-up an interesting gadget from the check-out rack and say, "Damn! That's cool." And then just start looking it over.
STEP #3: Read The Vibe

Next, what you want to do is notice how she's reacting to what you said using just your peripheral awareness. So you don't even look directly at her.

If she's not interested, she'll just continue on with what she was doing. So there's no big rejection. I mean, it's not like you were talking directly to her or anything, so how can she "reject" you?

No, she just didn't take the "invitation".

Big deal!

But most times, she'll give you her attention in one of two ways:

Either she'll respond by saying something, which lets you know that it's now OK to look at her and get into a conversation.

Or she'll look at you because she's curious, but won't say anything. She may just be shy, so that's you're cue to actively invite her into the conversation.

For example, perhaps you'd say: "Look at this thing," as you look at her. "Any ideas on how someone would've come up with the idea for this thing?"

I've found this to be the very best way to casually meet women without coming off "too forward" or "weird". It's safe and non-threatening for both: you and her.

In fact, you'll be seen as a "regular" guy, not some creepy "Pick-Up Artist" who's only interested in getting in her pants.

Now, what do you do after you've started a conversation?

Just flip to Chapter 10 in Cool Guy with Women and use the techniques on how to continue and lead the conversation from there.

By using these simple conversational techniques, you'll never have to worry about what to say again. You'll always know what to say next by following the step-by-step concepts.

Click this link for more details or to order your copy today:

How To Become A "Cool Guy" With Women

I look forward to meeting and talking with you in the forums.

See you there soon.

Your Friend,

Jay Julio
 
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MisterMcGee

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step by step bs. the key to being happy and complete is to be in a healthy mental state - these 'cool' vibes that 'arent creepy and needy' come naturally when youre healthy and happy.
 

Solomon

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Cold Approaching does work!

MisterMcGee said:
step by step bs. the key to being happy and complete is to be in a healthy mental state - these 'cool' vibes that 'arent creepy and needy' come naturally when youre healthy and happy.

This whole thing about "Cold approaching" not working is bull crap. Guys who say "I only approach when she makes eye contact" are limiting the women that they can have, what if she never sees you or notices you? even if you try to be in her vicinity? I've had girls not look at me because of their ASD, if you Cold approach with solid game, you can usually succeed, is this a 100%? NO of course not, but if you really want something in life (including a girl who doesn't make eye contact for whatever reason) sometimes you have to go for it

That's life gentlemen, taking risk!
 
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Solomon, thank you for bringing this article to the forum. I always though the "accident" way was ny idea, glad its gone public, it skyrockets your approach rate.
 
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DoubleBarrel

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@Solomon

Maybe the point wasn't that cold approaching doesn't work to meet women.

After all, anyone who's done it knows a guy will generally come out with some numbers, dates, or whatever.

Perhaps the entire point was that cold approaching tends to set a guy up as more or less "disposeable" in a woman's mind right from the very beginning... which I imagine would be great if all a guy's after is sex.

But what if a guy wants to keep the option of getting into a decent relationship open, even after the "conquest"?

And if he's thinking ahead with that in mind, maybe it's wiser to wait for the opporunities to present themselves naturally instead of actively going out of his way to create them.
 

Jitterbug

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Define "works".

I rarely fail to get a good interaction and a number when I cold-approach, but from that to date to a lay is an entirely different story.

From my experience, if you just want to talk to women and get numbers, cold approach works. If you want more, yes it also works but the failure to success ratio is HUGE. 10:1 can already make you the very top PUA. The only person I've known who can best that is a friend of mine, a French natural who has model good looks, and I've seen him fail countless times.
 

TheBucketOfTruth

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I agree with some of the assessments in this article, but one should not just restrict themselves to these situations even if they may be preferred.

Some of the best pick-ups I have done were when I was just somewhere living my life (often with a good buddy) and decided to include a cute girl who was close by in my life, rather than walking up and including myself in hers. It's far more casual and may help get you in under the radar and avoid the usual ***** shield you get in bars/clubs.
 

Fatal Jay

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Man I was a big fan of jay julio, anyone know where I can find his articles, he use to post back in the day on sosuave, and I remember he had a $hitload of articles on ezarticle, but I can't find them anymore
 

Solomon

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Man I was a big fan of jay julio, anyone know where I can find his articles, he use to post back in the day on sosuave, and I remember he had a $hitload of articles on ezarticle, but I can't find them anymore

like most wise people he lift a sinking ship before it was to late
 
Read the 22 Rules for Massive Success with Women. Everything you need to know to become a huge success with women. And it's free!

ubercat

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Solid stuff and how most of us oldies do it. Jay still checks in under a different handle. Look in dj tips Dec and pm him.

Step by step works. It s called chunking. It's a study technique
 
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